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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be wary of going to MILs tomorrow

30 replies

ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 28/12/2013 10:05

MIL was working Christmas Day so is having the family over tomorrow . Ds has been unwell with a cold since Christmas Eve but is getting better now . However my nephew woke up on Christmas morning to chicken pox . So DH absolutely does not want me to take him and to just get SIL to take DD down and I stay in with DS . Would he still be contagious at this time ? I really don't want to risk it because ds has been really unwell recently cutting a molar and it's really knocked the stuffing out of him taking colds mouth ulcers temperatures rashes he just seems to take really unwell when cutting teethSad
Oh and he's 13mo.

WWYD ? I don't really want to go but I think MIL will be quite miffed and think I'm being over cautious .

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 28/12/2013 10:08

Yes the chicken pox will still be contagious until the spots crust over which is normally 5-7days after they first appear. I wouldn't go tbh.

maddening · 28/12/2013 10:10

No don't go and your mil should understand.

KirstyJC · 28/12/2013 10:11

He would be contagious, don't go. Sad for MIL but that's what happens when your kids are ill - DH & I had to take time off work unpaid when ours got chicken pox, you just have to accept that normal service is suspended until he gets over it.

Helpyourself · 28/12/2013 10:11

Is he at nursery usually? Do you work and would you have to take time off if he got it? He's going to get chickenpox at some point, so this could be a better time than many- when he's at school, when you've booked a holiday, when he has exams or there's a new baby at home. Has DD had CP? If she catches it she'll pass it on to DS anyway, so you might as well enjoy the day with Mil and prepare for a quiet start to the new year!

DorothyBastard · 28/12/2013 10:12

I may be missing the point but if it's your DN with chickenpox surely he should be the one to stay at home?

Christmascandles · 28/12/2013 10:13

YANBU DN will still be contagious until ALL of the spots have stabbed over. In my DS case he was still getting new spots on his hands and feet a week after the initial ones came on his chest. He wasn't really unwell, just covered in spots.
14 days later DD and DS2 got it. DS2 slept it off but dd was very poorly, needed medicine, two trips to drs etc.

If it were me I wouldn't take him.

LIZS · 28/12/2013 10:14

why are you wiling to expose dd and not ds ? It is really your dn who shouldn't go but if your ds is unwell anyway and dd has had it and noone else minds then can see why it might be logical for the majority to still get together. Is dh not planning to go too ?

Christmascandles · 28/12/2013 10:16

Actually Dorothy has a good point....

And I missed the bit about DD going..... She will prob catch it and pass to your DS. There's never a good time to get pc but as he's recently been unwell I'd try and avoid it if I could.

Cerisier · 28/12/2013 10:16

CP can be very nasty Help so to expose someone deliberately is not responsible at all. If things go wrong how would the OP feel if she had been instrumental in harming her baby?

Original poster
ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 28/12/2013 10:17

Dd has has them . If he did get then I could take time off (unpaid) but as he's been unwell I don't think this is a good time to take them .

OP posts:
StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 28/12/2013 10:19

I disagree with Helpyourself. I definitely wouldn't expose a child to chicken pox when he's already unwell and his immune system is compromised. It's all very well getting chicken pox 'over and done with', but only if your body is able to fight the infection. He's likely to get it much worse if he gets it now than when he's in full health.

Original poster
ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 28/12/2013 10:19

Dh is working and ds is getting better so I felt he was well enough to go ... But not well enough to get exposed to contagious chicken pox IYSWIM ?

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/12/2013 10:22

So sil and dn should bow out surely ? I'd assumed that ds was still too unwell.

Original poster
ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 28/12/2013 10:23

Sorry the SIL I mentioned is not the mother of my nephew . My nephew is BILs dc , SIL is DHs sister who I'm close to .

And there is absolutely no way MIL wouldn't have my nephew there . He's No1 Hmm

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/12/2013 10:25

In that case it is her choice that you, ds and I'd say dd too aren't there for a "family" do. Let her get miffed especially since dh isn't able to be there.

shazbean · 28/12/2013 10:35

Stay away.
Dd was otherwise healthy when she got CP and it wasnt nice. No complications or hospitals or anything like that but she was wiped out.
On top of what he has been through already - I would not chance it.

hamptoncourt · 28/12/2013 10:41

My DS got chicken pox THREE times!!! Just cos your DD has had it once doesn't mean she can't get it again and also pass to your DS whilst his immunity is already weakened.
I wouldn't let either of them go.
Mil should be telling SIL that DN with CP cannot come but if she won't then I would suggest you all get into your onesies and crack open the last of the choccies.

Original poster
ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 28/12/2013 10:50

It's not even entered into MILs head that we wouldn't go she was texting me plans and times etc last night . I was telling dh about it when he came in and he reminded me about the chicken pox I had forgot ! And there's no way MIL had forgot because my nephew was in her house yesterday . So she expects me to expose my always just getting over illness 1yo to it . No thanks . I've made my mind up thank you everyone Smile

OP posts:
Helpyourself · 28/12/2013 10:54

Sounds like you've made a good decision. If he's already below par and you'd have to take unpaid leave, it's definitely not a good time.

IDontDoIroning · 28/12/2013 10:57

Dn would have been infectious for a week before the spots appeared.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 28/12/2013 10:57

Had the same dilemma over Christmas. .All nephews had something similar. In the end we didn't see them so kept DD safe....

But she came down with vomiting bug and gave it to us all. Oops. Don't feel bad about staying away

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/12/2013 11:01

Um, surely it's the child with chicken pox that should be staying at home.

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2013 11:07

If they are thoughtless enough to take a sick child to a family Do (have all the adults had it?) then I would definitely stay at home. Having been so poorly recently your DS really doesn't need CP on top of everything else.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 28/12/2013 11:15

I would keep both kids at home, unless your DN stays home, and tell MIL exactly why(in as nice a way as possible). I wouldn't want DS catching it whilst his immune system is weak either, as it may well be worse than DN has it.

ilovepowerhoop · 28/12/2013 11:15

chicken pox is only contagious for 1-2 days before the spots appear, not 1 week. (and until they scab over)

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