To tell dh not to get pissed when in charge of dcs?

[Ladyglamalot]

Background-dh not happy because we did'nt spend xmas with his parents. I have spent many xmas with them and we go there every sunday for dinner and have done for 20 years!

Dh wants us all to go down for dinner tomorrow and for us to get a taxi so he can get pissed with his dad-I don't drive.

I am ill-been puking since yesterday,achy,not eating etc. I really don't want to go. However dh is saying he will go with dcs but he will still want a drink with his dad. When I say a drink I am not talking a few beers btw-I am talking a few bottles of wine plus bottle of whisky!

Am I bu to tell dh that no way is this appropriate? and I really don't want dcs to go if he is drinking?

I think he is being utterly pathetic, and your mil too. Adult time at Xmas changes when there are DCs around, not everyone grasps this and some plain refuse to change their priorities.

If you're getting over feeling crap surely he would want to make sure you're ok? or at v Least take DCs out for a bit this morning so you can sleep.

I am surprised that no one has said LTB yet. Why are you still with him? They all sound awful.

Again I agree thekitchen-but the thing is although mil moans that she wants to see my dcs I do actually think its more dh she wants to see-she does not really play/talk to the dcs much when they are visiting and they certainly never offer to babysit

I know that I will have been the subject of much discussion on xmas day when inlaws were at bil/sil because I am the horrible dil who would not let dh have xmas with his parents. Again

FFs!!-mil just been on the phone and now humming and hawing over whether or not she wants dh to come down as she still not 100%-me thinks its because she is throwing toys out of pram because dcs not going!

Mil now phoned back and said yes to dh going-no doubt so they can bitch about what a horrible wife/dil I am

Got a nice day planned with dcs anyway-off to softplay,then maybe ice skating and then out for dinner. "D" h can get stuffed and bloody well stay at his parents!

What a bunch of selfish idiots, why are you putting up with it? Would he cancel seeing his friends if the shoe was on the other foot? Ring your friend and tell her you'll arrange another get together with her when your feeling better, some men really are selfish x

Yanbu , few beers ok getting trollied not.

Tell him to get a taxi on his own to his parents and to stay there, permantley.

What a sad little mummys boy.

Stay home tonight, keep the kids with you, tell him to stay at his parents, he is NOT to come home until he is sober, showered and not smelling vile.

Then phone your friend, tell her how sick you have been and ask her if she will come and help you with the kids, talk to you and preferably stay over.

Then have a damn good think about your life.

It is absolutely ridiculous my friend - it has to stop. Now.

I would tell him to go to his parents and stay there - permanently. This is no life for you or your children.

He is an alcoholic and he is draining the life out of you. End it - unless you really want your kids growing up living in this environment and very likely becoming alcoholics themselves.

There isn't any situation that makes this impossible to do - you just have to wake up and see the damage you are allowing him to do to you and your children.

*Mil does not go through me-she speaks directly to dh. For example a few weeks ago we had major problems with our car-she knew this but I let her know that we would not be able to come for dinner on the sunday. She then phoned dh and asked why we could'nt go for dinner!

Dh was actually willing to still go and take dcs even though it would have been dabgerous to drive the car as he "can't let his mum down"-its pathetic!*

I think this is the real problem....you don't get on with the in laws, he has thrown his toys out of the pram as you refused to allow him to see his parents at Christmas
I think this is one you need to suck up. They are his parents, of he wants a drink at the inlaws house at Christmas then I think yabu
His mum will be there as well the kids will be looked after

Sorry didn't see the last page!

OP I really think you should either get this moved to relationships or start a new thread there.

Your H is an alcoholic with no respect for you. You really need to think about whether or not you want to continue to live like this. Because you don't have to, you know.