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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about makeup gift to 8yo DD?

93 replies

stoopstofolly · 27/12/2013 16:27

Just that really. Can't decide if I'm being precious or not. MIL bought DD (8) a MASSIVE makeup set. It's aimed at grown ups- black eye liners, red lipstick, dark nail varnishes. And it's MASSIVE (it's more makeup than I possess in total!). DD thrilled. However, I hate makeup on young girls. I'm not even that keen on them dressing up in it- especially as this stuff needs industrial strength makeup remover to shift it! I've said she cannot wear it out of the house, and needs to ask me before playing with it- otherwise I can imagine the trauma 10 mins before we're due to leave the house. School don't even allow clear varnish so she won't be wearing "vamp red" to school.
TBH I'm just peeved. We've had 3 rows about it already, her eyes are red from all the makeup remover and I just think it's an inappropriate present for an eight year old.

However, MIL and DD seem to think I'm unreasonable....

OP posts:
Contraryish · 27/12/2013 16:28

I'm with you. There are some little basically harmless sets aimed at young girls which would be OK at a pinch, but I wouldn't let my 7.5 yo out of the house caked in slap either!

SantanaLopez · 27/12/2013 16:28

Eurgh, a little bit of pink glittery crap is fine, but those colours are so inappropriate.

WipsGlitter · 27/12/2013 16:29

Just take it off her.

WipsGlitter · 27/12/2013 16:29

I.e. The whole set.

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/12/2013 16:32

Bin it.

Nothing wrong with kids make up sets but sets like that for 8yo are not a good thing, small children should not use stuff on there skin that requires anything other than soap and water to remove

moldingsunbeams · 27/12/2013 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nicky2512 · 27/12/2013 16:35

I'm with you! DD is almost 12 and was bought a makeup set. I know lots of her friends use makeup but I just don't see why on earth anyone would think a 12 year old would need it.

Original poster
stoopstofolly · 27/12/2013 16:35

I was wondering if take it off her (which I'm desperate to do!) I could sweeten the blow by taking her shopping- she could choose a nice (age appropriate!) dress in the sales..... After all, it's not her fault MIL misjudged. I love my MIL usually- this is out of character. I blame a last minute Xmas twitch..,,,,

OP posts:
FlossieTreadlight · 27/12/2013 16:35

YANBU - awful present for a little girl

WooWooOwl · 27/12/2013 16:36

I'd be a little peeved too, but there is no point in you arguing about it. Arguing about it will only reinforce your dds idea that she loves make up.

In your position, I'd play with the make up with her, but make it clear that it is a toy to her. If it was a great big building made of Lego she wouldn't expect to play with it every whew she goes, and this doesn't have to be any different.

See if you can get her some of those pictures of faces that make up artists use to put make up on to show what they have used on their clients. Then she can play with it and try out different colour combinations etc on something other than her face.

She'll get bored of it soon enough.

Wellthen · 27/12/2013 16:37

I would treat it as a play thing - it is for dressing up only, not actual wear. Treat it almost as stage make up, use the liners and darker eye shadows to turn her into a cat or dog and use the brighter colours to make her a clown, princess, insect etc etc.

If you act like its nothing, she'll become bored by Easter.

moldingsunbeams · 27/12/2013 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 27/12/2013 16:39

I bought my make up stealer 8 year old DD a little bit of cheap, easy to remove, mascara, eye shadow, blusher and lip gloss so she leaves mine alone.

I would not like my DD to have the set that you describe!

YANBU!

FunkyBoldRibena · 27/12/2013 16:41

It would disappear overnight if that was my house.

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 16:41

do you think she saw it in BHS Grin and just panicked sounds like it , I would tell your dd it isn't really a younger girls set lets bin it put it away till she is older so you can keep it for best take her to claires and buy her something else,

FixItUpChappie · 27/12/2013 16:41

YANBU - silly gift for an 8yr old IMO. I would put it away for a few years. Your MIL was unreasonable (and a bit dim) to not understand that parents have differing rules and values about makeup.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/12/2013 16:44

YANBU, but I don't think I'd confiscate it. Does she have any age-appropriate lip glosses etc? If not, perhaps get her some 'in the sales' or for her next birthday.

Don't let her use any more eye make-up till her eyes are back to normal though. That's not about judging the appropriateness of the present, it's just being a good mother! Let her paint her toenails as much as she wants.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 27/12/2013 16:46

Ridiculous thing to buy an 8 yo for sure. I'd just do what you have been doing though. Let her use it to 'play with', let her put it on you, her, siblings etc if you aren't going out then clean it off later on. It wont do any harm occasionally.

oadcb · 27/12/2013 16:46

Its completely inappropriate but I had to have same discussion about Dsd.

Idespair · 27/12/2013 16:46

Yanbu.
I think if it had just been one little eyeshadow or one nail varnish, it would have been ok. But a massive set is ridiculous.

Spaulding · 27/12/2013 16:50

YANBU. I had a little playset when I was about 9. Think bright green eyeshadow, lipgloss and pink blusher. I played with once, looked like a clown and that was that. I wasn't really interested in being girly at that age.

However, even though I came out relatively unscathed (despite now being late-20s and can't even pop to the shops without a full face of foundation, eyebrows and blusher) I wouldn't buy anything like that if I had a DD. She shouldn't be thinking about make-up and "making herself look pretty". She doesn't need any of that stuff. She had plenty of time in her teens to experiment with make-up. She's only 8. I'd bin it and offer to buy her something more appropriate. Your MIL might think it's completely fine, but she's your child, and if you think it's inappropriate then that's that.

Original poster
stoopstofolly · 27/12/2013 16:54

I do think it was a last minute twitch pressie. It is out of character for MIL! In fairness it was positioned as "dressing up" makeup. It's just that it's so adult and so hard to get off. I'm glad I'm not being precious about this- was wondering if my natural grinch like tendencies at Xmas we're colouring my judgement!

OP posts:
SantasPelvicFloor · 27/12/2013 16:54

My exMiL would do that sort of thing. I think its thoughtless in an innocent way but you're left with the fall out. Why not let her have a day playing and try and bore her completely...with a vigorous make up removal regime involved

Then 'tidy' it away...

shelley1977 · 27/12/2013 16:56

I think make up is fine once they are at secondary school if that's what they'd like. I'm lucky my little girl knows it hurts her skin and sticks to some nail varnish occasionally. My older daughter loves make up but didn't get any till she was 10 and then no cheap stuff as that brought her skin out in a rash.

Rachelx92 · 27/12/2013 16:58

Imo 8 is way too young for a full set like that. I had the little glittery lipglosses at that age and very rarely wore them. However I did start wearing foundation and eyeliner around the age of 12 and looking back now that was too young. Especially walking to school I'd get a lot of unwanted attention shudders. Why don't you put it away or have a pamper evening one day where she can use it on you?