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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - feeding my baby

60 replies

Bubblegoose · 26/12/2013 17:02

Please be gentle...

DS2 is 2.5 weeks old. ILs are staying for five weeks (another thread altogether).

I am not able to breastfeed due to a medical condition. Therefore I am formula feeding DS2, like I did DS1. Even though I knew I wouldn't be able to feed the baby myself, I am still pretty upset that I can't. I know it's not completely rational but there you go.

MIL is constantly trying to feed the baby. It makes me upset every time I see her. I almost feel a physical ache. I feel like we're playing a game trying to get to the baby first when he's hungry. She says I'm being precious and it's a way of showing her love. I say that she can show her love other ways and even though I can't breastfeed, feeding my baby is still important to me.

Am I being precious/unreasonable? I feel so unhappy about this and I have taken to hiding in my room with the baby like a sulky teenager.

OP posts:

callamia · 26/12/2013 23:24

Hurrah for you.
I hope you have a much better time. You're quite incredible.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 27/12/2013 00:21

That sounds like an improvement! Well done for saying something.

Why not just send the ILs away though? The last thing you want is for your toddler to feel that now the new baby is here, you want to spend time with just the new baby and not him. I'd also be unwilling to sacrifice that family of four time so easily. Yes, being alone with your new baby will be nice, but surely you'll need DH when you've been up all night?

mindlessrascal · 27/12/2013 01:18

So you're upset at not being able to bf, so feeding your dc is extremely important to you. That is a totally reasonable, wonderful thing, a v. Important bonding opportunity and you are definitely NOT being ur. Talk to mil, hopefully she will understand. Sorry if x post, only read the op, and congratulations on your baby!

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/12/2013 01:24

Yanbu.

Your baby is very young. As you're formula feeding, sharing feeds with your DH is doable. A free for all with everybody? Not if you're not happy to do so. And you're not.

I don't think that is unreasonable.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/12/2013 01:25

Also - nothing wrong with formula feeding.

The most important thing is your baby is happy and being fed.

mindlessrascal · 27/12/2013 02:26

Yes, to add to my post, NOTHING wrong with ff at all

vtechjazz · 27/12/2013 06:10

Very glad your raging bollocking chat with DH worked. Enjoy your baby moon!!!

olympicsrock · 27/12/2013 06:28

You are bloody well not being unreasonable. PIL should go to the holiday home alone so that you can have your own little family. DH needs to tell MIL to back off or leave.

fluffyraggies · 27/12/2013 09:23

Thanks for update OP.

I imagine all of us think the same as olympic

However, considering how badly and infuriatingly this could have gone (DH not backing you up/you not having the mental strength to carry on with sling/not feeling you could stick to your guns, etc.) I think the few days break is progress.

Enjoy your time with your new baby :)

(for your DH and toddler's sake, and to show independence and control, it would be nice if you drove up to be with them for an afternoon or whatever. But only if you want to, and only if it's an easy drive. Don't feel obliged AT ALL)

YuleNeverKnow · 27/12/2013 10:25

Your BABY needs YOU to feed him, whether it's bf or ff. That's what MIL needs to understand. It's not even about your preferences. So, you are not denying MIL her fun, you are doing what's best & right for your baby. Perhaps DH could try putting it like that to your MIL? Enjoy your few days of peace & quiet with the baby.

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