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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wrapping AIBU

54 replies

TwentyNinePerCent · 24/12/2013 22:52

I'm probably being at least a smidge U but anyway

I did all our Xmas shopping, for DH's family as well. Spent hours choosing presents for in laws, put a lot of thought into it, and each family member has 3-4 presents- not necessarily expensive but unique and thoughtful (IMHO)

Anyway, DH offered to take over wrapping so I could do a bit of cooking prep and come back and he has stacked all the presents for each person together and wrapped as a big lump. Got upset and explained that I wanted them wrapped individually, so they could enjoy a few separate surprises and take time to have a proper look at each gift. He said I'm being ridiculous and hormonal (35 weeks pregnant, may account for some of this!)

I'm upset on two counts I think - first, it's always been tradition in my family that we wrap everything separately and take time - at least a good hour - over unwrapping our presents and showing everyone what we got, rather than it being over in two seconds. Secondly, because it feels like he doesn't appreciate how much effort I've put in to choosing everyone's gifts and sees them as just 'stuff'

Someone is going to say I sound about 12 (I'm 39). Blush

OP posts:
Lweji · 24/12/2013 23:18

Also, just realised that you bought more than one gift for each person. Blush Don't. It's his family. He should be shopping. If you are going to have the trouble, don't exaggerate.

Original poster
TwentyNinePerCent · 24/12/2013 23:19

Poster above, as I bought the presents in separate shopping trips, just picking up bits I thought people would like as I went along. Was spending a set amount per person, so that amounted to a few presents (expect in c case of one member of my family who has one big present of same value)

I did all the shopping as I enjoy it, not being a martyr!

OP posts:
ShadowFall · 24/12/2013 23:20

I tend to wrap presents the way your DH does, unless I've been spreading out buying them and wrapping them as I've bought them.

My DH, however, is in the wrap every teeny tiny thing separately camp.

Original poster
TwentyNinePerCent · 24/12/2013 23:23

I meant noblegiraffe in my previous post

OP posts:
HaroldTheGoat · 24/12/2013 23:28

I never knew! Grin

DeWe · 24/12/2013 23:35

That is soooooo male! Wink I shall make sure dh doesn't see that otherwise he'll be hailing that as a good idea.

flashheartscanoe · 25/12/2013 00:15

DP reckoned he could bundle 3 or 4 stocking bits together in each wrap. It defeats the whole point of it. I told him no.

But then he also thinks we should all eat out of the saucepan to save on washing up...

ZenNudist · 25/12/2013 00:20

Yanbu

Did he re-wrap?

Tell him if he doesn't it can be his turn to buy all the gifts next yr!

Salmotrutta · 25/12/2013 00:25

I'm desperately green and environmentally aware so I do what you DH does!

Think of the environment and all the trees who died so you can individually wrap presents!!

... Actually I do what your DH does because no way am I wrapping millions of individual presents...

NatashaBee · 25/12/2013 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DramaAlpaca · 25/12/2013 00:34

YANBU. I think it must be a man thing, because that's what DH would do if I'd let him Wink

I'm with you, it's much nicer to have separate presents to unwrap.

HaroldTheGoat · 25/12/2013 00:35

Those poor presents Sad

OpalTourmaline · 25/12/2013 00:35

YANBU to do the wrapping in the way your family has always done it. He's not really unreasonable to do it the way he did. If you'd just said "Oh no we don't do it like that, can you redo them?" Would he have done it? Did he mean you were ridiculous to want him to wrap like that, or ridic to get upset he did it wrong?

TwoTurkeysMarinatingInABucket · 25/12/2013 00:40

It's weird to wrap all presents in a lump, just weird. And no fun at all.
Merry Christmas op, don't stress, just tell the receivers of all gifts in one packet that its your DH's fault when they look at you weirdly. And do a big "I told you so" to your DH.

Original poster
TwentyNinePerCent · 25/12/2013 00:50

I've rewrapped them myself as he refused, saying he needed to sort stuff in the kitchen - sigh

They look shit and creased as I've had to use the same paper and untie ribbons etc! Could murder him a large glass of red

OP posts:
TwoTurkeysMarinatingInABucket · 25/12/2013 00:55

Aww maaan! I hope your aren't two tired.

homeagain · 25/12/2013 01:03

YANBU. I would mind. But I don't think he's being unreasonable. I think it's one of those things that matter to some people, and others not at all But your presents sound gorgeous, and it will be obvious to people that hey were chosen thoughtfully. Just make sure you tell them who did he wrapping up.

softlysoftly · 25/12/2013 01:07

YANBU but can't believe you rewrspped! I would have handed them to inlaws work a "sorry I shopped but let him wrap"

DH wrapped 4 stocking fillers for DVs together tonight, they were for 2 different DCs. His response "well just let x unwrap, Y won't know she's a baby". Hmm

He rewrapped from the torn remnants of my tantrum

BackforGood · 25/12/2013 01:07

I personally would have wrapped them in little groups (eg, a hand towel can go in with face cream, but maybe chocs separately) but in a way it's irrelevant what I would have done. The point is, he was doing that job, so he is free to do it as he sees fit. How would you feel if he came and criticised the jobs you were doing in the kitchen and asked you to redo it all because he would have done it a different way if he were doing it ?
If a person is doing a job, then the nice thing to do is to say "thanks". To unwrap and rewrap them is just ridiculous, alienating, and setting yourself up for years of ending up doing everything yourself rather than sharing the chores.

softlysoftly · 25/12/2013 01:08

Sorry tired wrapping fingers = typos

TheBuskersDog · 25/12/2013 01:08

I don't understand why some people are getting angry with the OP for buying for his side of the family, saying it's HIS family. Some of us do consider our partner's family as our family too.

Preciousbane · 25/12/2013 01:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 25/12/2013 01:15

Why Precious?
People share the stuff they have to do in their lives differently - why on earth does each individual chore have to be split down the middle ? I don't get this obsession on MN where so many posters recently have indicated there is something wrong with a relationship because one half of the couple does all of one job.
There are often jobs that one person in a couple doesn't mind that the other one hates, or visa versa, I can't see a problem in sharing out tasks between a couple in the way it suits them.

Preciousbane · 25/12/2013 01:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cerealqueen · 25/12/2013 01:49

YABU to do all the xmas shopping

YABU to give 3/4 presents each

YABU to expect DP to wrap said excessive load nicely

YANBU to be upset being pregnant, just tell everybody who wrapped the presents.