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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My first MIL thread - stockings for DCs

99 replies

ceeveebee · 24/12/2013 22:02

Go gentle on me - I genuinely am not sure if I'm being unreasonable here
Am staying at PILs for Xmas at their insistence- I'd have been quite happy to stay at home tbh

We have 2 yo (just turned 2) DTs who don't really "get" the whole Christmas thing yet - only saw Santa for the first time yesterday, don't really know much about what Santa is supposed to do/be etc.

MIL just told me she has had two personalised stockings made with their names on and has filled them with little presents, all from them, and wants to put them in their cots. Now of course I appreciate the fact they've bought presents for them but really, I would have liked to arrange their first stockings myself (next year, when I think they'll be ready). And we have been here for the last 3 days and this has just been mentioned now when it's clearly been planned for a while. Never asked me whether I was doing stockings myself.

I said no, they can open them downstairs with their other presents when we've all got up. They sleep really well and I have to wake then at 8 each morning so why risk them rolling onto their stockings and waking up early. And on their birthday 4 weeks ago I had to sit there and help open all presents as they just weren't that bothered.

Don't want to drip feed so will declare now that this is not the first time I have felt my toes being trodden on -I could give a long list but don't want to seem bitter

Am I being precious? DH couldn't care less btw

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 24/12/2013 22:06

Yes, if you haven't got stockings why can't their Grandparents? Used to love staying at my Grans for the very reason that things were done differently. YABU!

phantomnamechanger · 24/12/2013 22:06

I do not get GPs doing stockings, its just like they want their babies back, but is massively treading on parents toes.

That said, my DD had stocking from 11month then 23 months - that time she definitely "got" it and squealed with delight at everything, so yes they will enjoy them but YANBU to want them to be under the tree gifts rather then in their bed from santa

ilovepowerhoop · 24/12/2013 22:08

I wouldn't put them in the cot but they could be put with the other presents

frenchfancy · 24/12/2013 22:08

Stockings for 2 year olds should not be put in their cots. Accept the stockings, but put them in front of the chimney.

usualsuspect · 24/12/2013 22:08

How dare they love their grandchildren.

The bastards.

redcaryellowcar · 24/12/2013 22:10

not being precious, you should be able to set the pace and mil should be taking a back seat, my pil who i could spend quite some time slating their previous behavior have this year bought a present we suggested and a couple of other things which ds will enjoy, i am pleased not to be overwhelmed by tat!

Garcia10 · 24/12/2013 22:10

How lovely that your MIL has bothered to arrange personalised stockings! I would have been thrilled if someone loved my children enough to do that. You are being a but precious wanting to be the first to do it and perhaps just a little bit unreasonable.

However, they are too little to have them on their cots on their own. There may be choking hazards in them.

I would say MIL that's fabulous, thanks so much for the thought but can they open them with everyone at the same time as they open their presents.

Hope that helps. Have a great day tomorrow - they aren't small for long. My 12 year old told me today that she has lost the magic of Christmas! Despite watching endless Christmas movies and being made to listen to Christmas songs throughout the length of December.

HappyCliffmas · 24/12/2013 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess · 24/12/2013 22:12

I really wouldn't want stockings in their cots, I'd worry for safety reasons!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 24/12/2013 22:14

Yabu to feel that your toes have been trodden on etc - but I agree that they shouldn't be in the cots. They could be hung on the end of the cots or on the bedroom door and then opened whenever.

RubyrooUK · 24/12/2013 22:15

I make stockings for my own kids (including the baby who really has not a clue). It is a lovely tradition and my mum does it for me - still - and I now do it for her too.

I would be thrilled to get personalised stockings for my children and would use this moment to thank MIL profusely. Then say again how much you love the stockings and you will put their stocking presents in them each year from now on, so they will have gifts from "Santa" via you, in the lovely presents their granny made. (Thus telling MIL you will be doing stockings from now on and also appreciating their gift.)

Wouldn't leave them in the cot though - that sounds like it could go wrong. Put them down by the cots on the floor.

pomdereplay · 24/12/2013 22:17

Also agreed that they shouldn't be on cots really (assuming the twins are in their own room).

Two is plenty old enough to enjoy a stocking and 'get' some of the magic of Christmas though. My 22 month old DD has been so interested this year in Father Christmas, the reindeer etc interested to the point of bursting with excitement tonight and being very hard to settle I would be thrilled that the grandparents were so excited about my children's early Christmases, and I'm usually always on the side of the daughter-in-law on these threads. That said, they should've run it by you before purchasing and setting it all up.

pianodoodle · 24/12/2013 22:18

This is why we stick to Christmas in our own house

Personalised stockings sound nice but agree I wouldn't put them in the cot.

Thegrinchishere · 24/12/2013 22:21

Yes it's toe treading.

Unless you want to look like a right arse you will have to compromise . Let them have stockings down stairs.

They wont remember them next year so do your own.

BigArea · 24/12/2013 22:24

We spend every other Xmas with my lovely dad and he's always done us a little stocking (I'm now 37)

2 years ago we had a bit of tension over Xmas eve dinner as he announced he'd done her stocking and I was like 'erm, that's lovely but it's my job not yours!'

This year we're back with him and when DH and I brought her stocking presents down he went 'oh, I've done her a stocking too'

No problem, his presents have gone in too hence she now has a massive stocking!

Next time I shall plan ahead for this, ensuring a) she doesn't get so many stocking presents and b) call me anal but they will all be wrapped the same.

I'd say this year just go with it, but next time discuss in advance and work together on it. Personalised stockings can come home with you for next year.

CaterpillarCara · 24/12/2013 22:24

My son had a stocking at one month old. But no-one beside parents should give one in my opinion.

onepieceoflollipop · 24/12/2013 22:25

"staying at the pils at their insistence"
That's the real issue imo. Perhaps your pils are quite controlling generally, and in their own home understandably want their own way.

I could not stay at my pils I would kill them

Pidgy · 24/12/2013 22:25

Wish my mil would do a personalised stocking for my DS. Last year she bought 2 for sil children but 'forgot' one for my DS. Be thankful that she cares!!

BigArea · 24/12/2013 22:25

Farking hell that was long, sorry

pixiepotter · 24/12/2013 22:26

How is it treading on the OPs toes when she hasn't done stockings this year and the DTS won't remember next year anyway.
I would just but the stockings on a chair or leaned up against the wall in their bedroom for them to find when they wake up.

Original poster

ceeveebee · 24/12/2013 22:29

Thanks all for your mostly helpful responses (usual - no need)

I know its great to have GPs who really love them. My family are very different - I never stayed at my GPs and my own parents are very hands off. I do find MIL to be a bit overbearing though but I know my DCs love being with them

I would never be so rude as to "not accept" a gift - it was just whether to put them in their cots - I can see some playdough sticking out the top which wouldn't be the best idea...

I'll do the stockings next year - when it will mean something to them as they'll know a bit more about what's going on. I do feel that its a bit odd not to have mentioned until just this evening still.

And I know a lot of 2 yos would "get" Christmas - my two are quite young for their age and not very verbally advanced so genuinely think next year will be the first time they properly understand Christmas

OP posts:

IThinkThat · 24/12/2013 22:34

I would suggest having them open their stockings downstairs but I would leave this to your DH to deal with his parents.

SoonToBeSix · 24/12/2013 22:36

Yabu but for safety reason they shouldn't be in their cots. They won't remember next Christmas that they had stocking this year anyway.

Bumbolina · 24/12/2013 22:46

My mil does personalised stockings at her house too. I was ok with 'Nana has filled a stocking for you' I'm not ok with her telling our 2 year old that Santa goes to their house too. That spoils it, it's obvious that the wrapping and writing is Nanas.
We do stockings and are trying hard to establish our own traditions... it isn't helping.

I've had to bite my tongue though. My kids will enjoy them, I just have to go with it

Changebagsandtinselrags · 24/12/2013 22:46

My dad's partner made personalised stockings for our DC last year. They already had their own stockings at home (just generic shop bought ones).

When we got to Dad's on Christmas day last year they were presented with them. I think they mostly had sweets in and small toys.

But they are so lovely.

We ditched the stockings we had and used the personalised ones this year. They're so excited, and my youngest is a similar age to what yours will be next year.

So, think of these as stockings they will use over and over. OK, they are too young this year, but next year is THE year. Your MIL would be so touched if they went on using them.

But yes, not in the cot. By the fireplace where they should be.

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