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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is way over the top

28 replies

Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 14:41

My DD is 15 nearly 16. She has been going out with her boyfriend for 8 months he's 18.

He has just given her her Christmas present. A Michael Kors watch . It must have cost at least £180 odd.

I'm flabbergasted. This is such an extravagant present. It's also the latest fad ( as far as I'm concerned anyway) and next month it'll be something different.

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 24/12/2013 14:43

I think that's nice. What a lovely boyfriend

WooWooOwl · 24/12/2013 14:43

That's a lovely gift. If he can afford it, it's not a problem.

SundaySimmons · 24/12/2013 14:45

The boyfriend is an adult, so he can spend whatever amount he wants.

I would only be concerned if he was also a child and had spent money his parents had given him!

Those watches are pretty standard fair as a Christmas gift. My ex stepdaughter got one two years ago when she was 17 and her boyfriend 19. The present is a safe bet.

I know it sounds like a lot of money, but that's what they all do nowadays.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/12/2013 14:52

It's hard to know if it's over the top, seen in isolation.

I can totally understand if he's well off, and head over heels, he might do that.

Is your DD thrilled, or is it that she's feeling as if she should get him something equally expensive?

WipsGlitter · 24/12/2013 14:55

Hmmmm. I think 15 and 18 is a tricky gap. Is he working?

mylittlesunshine · 24/12/2013 15:07

I think it's a lovely gift, not a fad at all I'm 28 and love my Michael Kors watch. If he can afford it and wants to buy her something special then that's his choice.

Fairylea · 24/12/2013 15:08

How lovely :) lucky girl!

AlwaysDancing1234 · 24/12/2013 15:10

Nice present if he is working and can afford it. (Maybe it's not real anyway?)

BuffyxSummers · 24/12/2013 15:10

I'd be more Hmm about an 18 year old wanting to be with a 15 year old than I would be about a watch tbh.

bellablot · 24/12/2013 15:15

It is over the top, of course it is, she is 15 and going out with an 18 year old, also unacceptable IMO.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 15:16

DD is thrilled and it is a wonderful present. I just can't get my head around how extravagant it is.

I agree Sunday that it is what they all do these days.

I think it is real. It came in a proper jewellers bag etc.

Buffy I know what you mean about the age gap . DD is way older than her years Sad and BF is very young for his.

She's a very lucky girl

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Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 15:18

Bellablot if you can give me pointers on how to stop them seeing each other I'm all ears

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sooperdooper · 24/12/2013 15:20

If he's working and can afford it then why not, yes it's expensive but it's lovely for him to think so much of her to buy her such a lovely present

WigWearer · 24/12/2013 15:21

Just make sure she's got contraception in place. Have you spoken to the bf about what he is doing to avoid getting an underage girl pregnant?

Imnotaslimjim · 24/12/2013 15:23

When I was 15, I dated a 19yo, and tbh there was nothing anyone could have said to change it, so I wouldn't even try

Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 15:23

To all those concerned about the age gap/ pregnancy etc , yes she is on the pill. His mother and I have talked about it and both had the chat re condoms. It's not ideal but given the year I've had with her it's not so bad.

Anyway that's not what this thread is about Smile

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 24/12/2013 15:27

I can't see why that age gap is more of a problem than any other teenage relationship. Its 3 years. Girls often mature at a faster pace than boys. And the contraception talk would have to happen regardless.

So what if its extravagent? Its his money to spend as he likes.

hootloop · 24/12/2013 15:28

It does seem a lot but he is obviously willing to spend it.
As for the age gap my parents were 15 and 18 wheb they got together, next year is their 35th wedding anniversary.

asandwichshort · 24/12/2013 15:33

As for the age gap I was 16 and 1 day, bf was 20 when we met - now been married over 35 years . Age gap was considered big then but as OP says about her DD I was quite mature and BF not so.

ScarletLady02 · 24/12/2013 15:46

I got with my ex when I was 15 and he was 18, it's not a massive age gap really when you consider girls are often more mature than boys at that age. We were together for 8 years so it was a proper relationship (he turned out to be an arse, but his age had nothing to do with that!)

It is a bit over the top but as a 15 year old girl I'd be over the moon.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 15:58

He absolutely adores her, treats her well ( obviously) and she has calmed down massively - got herself a job and doing so much better at school.

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Caitlin17 · 24/12/2013 16:52

I agree 15/18 is an awkward gap although 14/17 would be worse. OP has sensibly had the contraception talk , that age gap I think you have to, even if it's just to make sure they know that strictly speaking they shouldn't legally be having sex , but getting contraceptives isn't illegal. I have heard of teenagers who didn't know the latter.

Nanny0gg · 24/12/2013 17:28

I'm old fashioned (as well as old) and I think it's too much.

Nothing to do with whether or not he can afford it, it is the mis-matchedness of it I wouldn't like (as well as the age-gap)

I know he's an adult and can buy what he likes, but she isn't and therein lies the problem for me.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 19:31

DD has a Saturday job and she's saved like mad to buy BF some Christmas presents. She's bought him a nice Fred Perry shirt (£70!)some aftershave and a bobble hat.

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Original poster
Doinmummy · 24/12/2013 19:31

She will be 16 in Feb

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