To ask if your DH/DP works a 70 80 90 hour week - what exactly does he do?

[Hetty241]

I often read posts on MN where women mention their husbands/partners working very long hours and wonder what jobs they do that entail such long hours.

So I thought I'd ask.

DH works in IT and regularly does those sorts of hours. He does quite a lot of it from home though. Many years ago I used to work a 70-80 hour week. I worked in PR and I absolutely loved my job! It didn't feel like work and quite a lot of it was spent entertaining buttering up national journalists in restaurants that I could have never affored on my own. Sadly the role was not compatible with raising a family but I sure did enjoy it while it lasted!

Yes hetty youve just remined me that a while back I did the 60 hours weeks as a head of department in asecndary school and Dh had lovely flexi hours of 30 per week.

So kind of a role reversal. I think you are still more likely to find men dong those hours with women working part time or not - sadly this still reflects the inequalities in work life balance options for families and the job market.

Marlena, yes I am at home, just wouldn't work otherwise. I'm more than happy with this arrangement though, we both are.

Chef

Contract for 56 but can do up to 70

Police officer in a specialised, dedicated unit. Not unusual to work 70-80hrs a week.

When we have children (fingers crossed, we're TTC) my OH is going to be a SAHP. I'm sure it is possible to both work long hours but we would find it hard to afford the childcare I think.

belize we have the 'traditional' arrangement it works very well for us as family and a couple its clear cut. Much more so than when we both worked full time (in demanding roles) with one DS.

However this doesnt always work for me as an individual - outside my role of being mum/partner. i am studying for a nother degree but it is hard.

He's a lawyer with clients all over the world. The time zones don't fit into a 9-5 day. I used to work those hours pre mat leave at times. I now do 3 days a week

Dh does some weeks, I do some weeks. He works in insurance claims - so after the last lot of flooding he drove 1000 miles in the week to be on site to get people back on track after devastating damage, leaving at 6, getting home at 9 then working evenings.

I work for a medical device manufacturer and go on site to hospitals, visit our engineers etc. A lot of overseas travel, and a day can start at 3.45 to get a 6 am flight, home at 10pm

My dh works in events security. He can often end up working those kinds of hours especially during summer and Christmas where he works 12 to 16 hour days 7 days a week but it calms down at other times of the year and he's more likely to work a fourty hour week. I just wish the busy periods weren't always coinciding with the school holidays.

DH is a financial portfolio manager and works crazy long hours, usually putting in some at weekends.

I'm doing my PhD and work pretty unforgiving hours too.

I'm an academic and work these hours. In my case it isn't poor time management - I wish, I am super-efficient! - but the fact that I have too much work, plus if I want to be promoted (or even just to keep my job) I need to do research in my spare time. My contract isn't specified in terms of hours but in terms of my specified duties and teaching contact hours - but the amount of prep/marking admin etc that you have to do per contact hour is hugely variable and can be many times the number of contact hours. My department has chosen to understaff to save money so I cover the workload of several people but this isn't reflected in my actual contract so I can't do much About it. If I say this to my manager he just ignores it - there's a presumption in academia that if you can't take the heat you're weak and on the second track (esp if you're a woman with children) - you will quietly be marked down for non-promotion. Our department expects women to take up the admin/teaching slack, normally.

Wish I got paid a banker salary for this and had a nice house! In reality I can't afford even a studio flat of my own. Anyone reading who is thinking of becoming an academic - take note!

Yes, why the assumption that it's only men who do these hours? Why not say what sort of work requires these hours or demands these hours?

BertieBowTies yes you normally have to agree to opt out of the Working Time Directive but there are lots of ways to get around that. My contract pretends I should be within the WTD but in reality because I'm contracted to do tasks rather than hours the specified duties just aren't really do-able within a normal working week. Eg. you can contract someone to give X number of lectures or tutorials but if the time writing them isn't included, or, eg. marking work for the tutorials, then in practice the hours overspill a normal working week.

Accountant for an oil company. I've joked in the past that I'd get him a sleeping bag so he could just stay in the office.
I used to work ridiculous hours when I was a full time teacher. I'm now contracted to work 21 but in reality work about 35hrs in an average week.

DH is a chef. Contracted/salaried at 40 hours but works 60-70 hours per week, not including his commute. He doesn't get paid enough for the amount of work he does.

Dh used to do 60 hours week as the Chief Exec of a medium size charity. 70 hours week in summer is pretty typical as a consultant ecologist, esp if you do newt and bat work.

Chef

Lawyer ("magic circle"), international clients, loves the work (most of the time), loves the money. Very good at mucking in with housework and childcare despite long hours though (he's a homebody and also adores spending time with DD).

I was a SAHM and have only recently gone back to work 2 days a week. And that's purely because my youngest has just started school.

DH is a workaholic but when you are responsible for paying a lot of other people's salaries, well it does tend to mean you end up working a lot of hours.

My DH is an accountant and the tax return deadlines are looming. Some are 31 December, others are 31 January and late returns get a fine from HMRC, which gets interest and further fines added on the later you get. These fines would soon bankrupt a small business.

DH will be working at least 12 hours every day except Christmas day including weekends for the next 5 weeks. It's impossible to complete the work earlier as many businesses don't finish their yearly books and records until now, so their tax returns can't be done sooner. Good luck to all the other accountants out there!

Another with a DH in construction here. Own business, fantastic reputation, finds it difficult to turn work down. He has always worked like this since he was a teenager so he sees nothing wrong with it and I sometimes have to remind him that he has family responsibilities which fall outside providing for us all financially.

We have just been through a phase where he wasn't home much before 10pm every single day for two months. It's hard going, for me too, but allows me to work part time and look after the children so a trade off of sorts.

Very senior consultant with global role for an international telecomms company. I never see him and we pretty much have zero communication. The hours he spends physically in the office are not that bad, but he works at home all day Sunday and very often until midnight every night. He is frequently away.

TBH it's all utterly shit. There's other crappy and stressful stuff going on, but DH is always too busy and stressed with 'important' things to devote time and energy to trying to make things better. I've more or less given up and I'm wondering what the hell I am doing here.

Goodness, this thread is shocking. I had no idea so many people work such awful hours.

You need to work in insurance in London! I hardly ever worked more than forty hours, and I was on £50k. Easy job, fair bit of entertaining, minimal stress. Loved it. I was just 29 when I left for maternity leave.

My DH in a far more senior position, but still within insurance and in London. Earns six figures. Works hard, commute is tiring, but nothing remotely like 90 hours a week. More like 70, inc two hours a day commuting.