To ask if your DH/DP works a 70 80 90 hour week - what exactly does he do?

[Hetty241]

I often read posts on MN where women mention their husbands/partners working very long hours and wonder what jobs they do that entail such long hours.

So I thought I'd ask.

Trying hard to ignore Fudge's ignorant, deliberately provoking stupid post .

Also funny that OP seems to think it's only men who work those kind of hours!

In this instance though it is my DH who works silly hours, he is an IT Consultant for a big American company. He wil do 3 months of silly hours, abroad most of the time and then might have 2 weeks working from home. So we don't see him at all and then we have him here all the time!

Very hard to plan anything and I can't really go back to work properly due to this but it works for us. Not greedy or ego driven (or selfish bastards...).

He's very good at what he does, enjoys it, is naturally a very hard worker so whatever he did he would do it to an extreme degree.

He would absolutely loathe working 9-5 up the road, drive him mad with boredom !

Oh and it does pay well which does help soften the blow and will please you to hear Fudge .

ATM enginereer. He is expected to work longer hours but he needs to to bring home a half decent wage. His hourly rate is shit.

Can I add that I also did 50/60 hour weeks before ML. I worked on a global business in M&A specialising in development.

My DP works as hard as he does so he's now in a position to have a lot of say about his contract.
For instance he has a 'no overseas travel' part, which is a godsend, plus he can chose his pay (within reason) and he hires and fires his team etc etc.

The aim is to be in the property ladder in 10 years time so the children have some security.

Just read Fudges post. That post really is a bit naive, ignorant and bitter.

Fudge as with Belize DH and I are both well rewarded for our roles so I guess that puts us in your greedy city even though we live in Yorkshire stereotype who care about nothing but cash. Merry Christmas.

Head of desk in a shipbroker. A certain amount of his working hours are spent in the pub on client entertaining and there's a lot of travel as he is often asked to give client presentations/conference talks all over the world, so it's not all desk-jockeying.

He likes his job and is good at it. He's a bit of a workaholic too, and likes the salary that comes with it. I also work FT, sometimes long hours, and I like earning a decent wage too. We're all motivated by different things and there's nothing wrong with part of one's motivation being money.

Long-distance lorry driver.

Navy officer - emergency planner/crisis manager type role. He works more when shore based than he does on a ship, even though he's technically working 24/7 when he's away when he's home it's more reasonable but this posting (and the last) is 8-8 in the office plus permanently being on call. He's on Christmas/paternity leave right now but if he's needed he has to go back.

I used to work that or more as a nanny because the parents were investment bankers and pulled 70 hour weeks in the office plus travel.

Head chef

Fudge is typical of those people who do things a certain way but just cant conceive that this might not be appropriate for other people.

We should just leave people like that to their tiny limited life and let them wonder when they cant obtain certain services why a 35 hour week isn't sustainable in many professions and workplaces

DH works in London for an IT company. His hours are 'flexible' - in reality this just means he needs to work until its all finished. Given that he is currently doing the work of 3 people that equates to 13 hour days plus carrying on working at home, including weekends...

Captain barnacles I hear you on the phone and emails thing! Drives me potty!

When not on mat leave I am a doctor. I will probably go back part time but previously easily clocked up these kind of hours, often as a PP said due to some emergency occurring 5 minutes before the end of your shift.

Those of you who have dhs who work those hours are you SAHPs? It isn't sustainable for a family for both parents to work those hours.

My husband usually works fairly normal hours, 40-50 hours a week, I think.

I know lots of couples who are both teachers and I don't know how they do it.

No I am not a SAHP. I am on ML at the moment but I intend to go back full time after ML. We are fortunate to be ale to afford adequate childcare though. I understand I may not feel the same when baby arrives but as t stands I intend on going back.

My boss and her DH have three Dc and oth work long hours. Obviously I dot live with them but it has worked out for them over many years.

Dear Fudge, I would love to see you try to run a multinational company in just 37 hours per week. And, guess what, we live in Scotland too.

Marlena yes, I will be a SAHM once our baby arrives. I do know couples who both work these types of hours; they're typically reliant on live-in childcare. I wouldn't say it's unsustainable - it's not the way I'd choose to do it, but it works very well for them.

We have a home help/ part time nanny. We could not cope without her

MarlenaGru You just have to make it work, luckily i can work from home after a 40 hour office week and DS is old enough to know he needs entertain himself while i work and he does give me a hand with spreadsheets or route planning occasionally.

Mainly we rely on my fecking amazing DPs to help with the slack but they are early 50's and seem to enjoy being around for DS, equally DS loves spending time with them so it works for us.

I love my job, yes DH could technically give up his job and I could support us both but we enjoy working and have an arrangement that suits us and DS.

to all those who have family who are working over Christmas, I've seen quite a few posts on this thread which look like you will be separated from loved ones this Christmas and probably a few more to come.

DH does occasionally - he works for a company who make computer software, and if they're getting a game out to a deadline, it's all hands on deck when there's a rush. But it's not week-in, week-out. I am full of awe at people who manage that, as he gets exhausted.

One of his good mates has two small children and still loves this job because it's flexible despite the long hours. So I guess it's that trade-off.

Dh worked a 60+ hour week as a Mechanic. It was a 24 hour garage, plus they did break down cover - so often on call on the evenings too.

Senior position four one of the big four accountancy firms.

He can leave at 430 for a meeting and not be back until 9pm.

A normal working day in the office is leaves at 630 back at 7/730

Somtimes he does not see our two children awake for two or three days. It is like being a single parent durng the week. He is often too tired to be much company or help when he does get home.

We do email each other. He will ring to speak to the kids if there is an issue so they know he is still involved even though he is not there.

I am a SAHP of four years. I dont know how I am going to get back into work. Going for coffee, the groups, the shopping its all so banal after a while and its easy to drift....

I have no family nearby

I am not assuming only men work those hours. As it's mainly women who post on MN, often complaining about lack of help with child care/housework and dealing with in laws and citing their DH's job as the reason he doesn't muck in, I was asking them about the roles their DH/DP has which involves such ludicrously long hours.

No judgements, just curious.