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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask them to turn the heating down?

37 replies

Iammelting · 23/12/2013 23:41

My close family are staying in a nearby holiday cottage over Christmas

the holiday home is newly modernised with actual insulation and triple glazing Xmas Envy

We live in a 200 year old draughty cottage

We've been to tea with them tonight & they had the heating set at 28 radiators too hot to touch under floor heating on and gas fire on full (open plan downstairs)

My heating is set at 18 at home

We literally melted & we had to leave very rapidly after eating as we felt so uncomfortable
so I asked could they maybe turn it down when we go there Christmas day (I'm cooking) just for a few hours

So AIBU?
They (6 of them) said it was 'cool' in the cottage & 2 were sat with blankets wrapped around them

What is the alternative? I bought a gorgeous dress today am I going to end up spending Christmas day in just my tights bra and ear rings ? Xmas Hmm

Is that just too hot???

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 23/12/2013 23:52

I would normally say that there should be a way of hinting it's too hot before saying it outright in a nice way, but because all six have said they're finding it cool, I would say not in this situation.

I loathe feeling too hot and we live in a relatively cool house, but there are some times when you have to stick it out.

Are they older family members? Because the cold does get into your bones when you're getting on a bit doesn't it, maybe not moving about as much as their norm?

PinkPepper · 24/12/2013 00:03

If you're cooking can you open the windows in the kitchen? Surely no one can complain as it'll be your area for the time and hopefully will air through rest?

AgentZigzag · 24/12/2013 00:07

Good thinking Pepper, or you could burn something a little bit and it'd give you license to open every window in the house Wink

MajesticWhine · 24/12/2013 00:12

28 is just unbelievable. YADNBU

SidandAndyssextoy · 24/12/2013 00:16

YANBU. My in-laws heat their house to the extent that we've had heat rash before while staying at Christmas, and we always pack T shirts etc. They also have those windows that only open a bit at the top, so no real relief there.

friday16 · 24/12/2013 00:18

We literally melted

That seems unlikely, unless you're made of plastic.

Original poster
Iammelting · 24/12/2013 00:19

Thankyou both ...

Agent my DGP's do have limited mobility so I know IABU as they feel the cold more

PP It's an open plan kitchen/dining/lounge so not sure how they'd react to me opening a window
and I dont usually burn food ... all it would take is a spillage on the shiny ceramic hob though Hmm

Is 28 really not hot?

It's not just about being hot we felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room

Would you turn the heating down for an hour if guests felt ill?

OP posts:
MyNameIsWinkly · 24/12/2013 00:22

Bloody hell. I would pass out in that. We live in a well insulated new build and our thermostat never goes above 19, tops. I don't know what you can do, other than get a nice festive bikini to wear - would they compromise? You could emergency buy them all Christmas jumpers and insist they wear them, meaning they'll feel hot too?

AgentZigzag · 24/12/2013 00:29

'That seems unlikely, unless you're made of plastic.'

Great deadpan delivery Grin

OP might have had to have plastic surgery for a childhood accident for all you know

No aspersions were cast on your cooking OP Grin I was thinking more along the lines of taking something specifically to smoke them out to create a whiff.

Ruffcat · 24/12/2013 00:33

28!!! Way to hot, I don't think I could bear it.

If it was 28 in the summer you'd be in shorts and a t shirt

Original poster
Iammelting · 24/12/2013 00:36

friday we left before full melt down obviously Xmas Wink

winkly I have bought my 2 DN's onesies ...

Like this?

Not sure what my DS's will think!

OP posts:
VenusDeWillendorf · 24/12/2013 00:40

I'm afraid you'll have to suck it up, and go outside for a breath of air when you're feeling warm. Leave off the thermals!

If they have limited mobility, they need to keep warm, and if 28 is too cold for them still, I'm sure you have seem blankets ahi g around you could bring to them as well.
Nothing worse than being cold when you're away and not able to do star jumps.

YABU.

Original poster
Iammelting · 24/12/2013 00:46

venus only 2 are older the rest are all younger than me but are sitting around watching movies/eating chocolate/drinking all day

I kept nipping out tonight but my Nan accused me of smoking on the sly Confused

OP posts:
CheshireDing · 24/12/2013 05:25

YANBU, I too would melt at that temperature unless I was on holiday I a bikini Grin
We are in a new build house and the thermostat doesn't go above 17.
We have friends like your Relatives though - real fire on, radiators on, blanket over their knees - they are only 35! DH whispered to me last time we were there that we needed to leave as he felt sick with the heat.
Have you bought them some lovely thick fleeced for Christmas? [Smile]

steff13 · 24/12/2013 05:31

After a quick conversion, I have determined that 28 C is 82 F - way too hot, IMO! I'd much rather be too cold than too hot, especially while cooking. I think you would not be unreasonable to ask them to turn it down. Or, conversely, you could cook in a bikini. Smile

We keep our house at 67 F in the winter, which is roughly 19 C.

Birdsgottafly · 24/12/2013 08:56

My former DH never felt the cold, I did, I thought he was unreasonable to be outside a lot and not just put up with being too hot.

Since starting the Peri Menopause, I never feel cold and it is much worse being too hot, than cold.

You will have to tell them and explain that you need to go outside to cool off.

My Mum 85, layers up whilst I go to hers, it is still warm, but we both cope with that compromise and I go outside occasionally.

When we feel cold our immune system drops, but if they are staying indoors and non of you have colds etc, they should be fine for an hour, just rotate being in discomfort Grin

Freddiefrog · 24/12/2013 08:59

28! I'm always freezing and would happily have the heating set at tropical, but 28's too high even for me.

Had they not long arrived and the cottage been empty with no heating on for a while? Sometimes they get a bit damp and cold if the heating's been off for a while and take some time to warm up properly, and everyone could have just got thoroughly cold while waiting for it to warm up

GobbySadcase · 24/12/2013 09:02

Split the difference and ask them to put it on at 23?

Original poster
Iammelting · 24/12/2013 11:45

Thanks for your replies...

I have a cold but no raging temp so I dont think its me feeling too hot.

They've been there 4 days already & I'd put the heating on 2 days prior to that (at 20) to warm the cottage through.

Just been back to check they're ok after last nights high winds & spent most of my time trying to keep toddler DS away from the radiators - its like touching an iron.

We were actually looking forward to spending some time there taking advantage of the free heating - now we're concerned our Dc's will be accustomed to it & assume they can wear shorts & vest tops for the rest of the winter!

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/12/2013 12:51

Way too hot! I feel the cold massively but even I would never turn the heating up that far.

We had our windows done and our downstairs naturally sits at about 19, it's nice.

quietbatperson · 24/12/2013 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jamdonut · 24/12/2013 14:48

My house is 1950's ex-council house. We have double glazing and insulation, but our heating at this time of year has to be round about the 25 mark to be comfortable,especially in the evenings. During the day it is on 20 which feels chilly if you have been inside all day. But if you have been outside and come in , is just nice.

Contrast this to the classrooms I work in which are whacked up to 28!! I absolutely suffocate sometimes,yet if I have to work in the corridor with groups of children there is one radiator just on, and we all freeze. It is no wonder children (and staff!!) get poorly this time of year!

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 24/12/2013 14:52

My house is boiling atm, and i dont even the heating on, and im barely dressed, 28 all day would have me passing out.

Their gas bill must be a heartattack waiting to happen.

Snatchoo · 24/12/2013 14:57

I would not be able to stay.

I get migraines when I'm too hot (indoor heat). The problem is, they can add layers you can't remove that many!

Original poster
Iammelting · 24/12/2013 18:33

Glad it isn't just me who's jaw dropped at 28 degrees!

Apparently they have turned it down as it had finally begun to make my Dsis/BIL feel light headed too (they're staying there) I haven't been back over today yet to see but we can probably cope with it around the low 20's so fingers crossed.

Best of all now I don't seem unreasonable to my family in asking them to turn it down (I hate confrontations)

Merry Christmas

OP posts: