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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For feeling miserable because I have the worst job out of everyone I know?

72 replies

scortja · 23/12/2013 20:30

I am stuck in a dead end job while everyone else either earns A LOT more than me in a job I wouldn't really be that interested in (tax accountant, business research), or has a lovely fulfilling job (curator, script doctor, OT, animator), or a lowishly paid but interesting job (gardener, conservator).

I upload content. Why am I the failure? Why meeeee?

OP posts:
WaffilyVersatile · 23/12/2013 20:34

Because you are asking why meeee? instead of deciding to stop fucking around and find something you enjoy.

Nobody is going to hand you your life on a plate, you are not a Princess. Go and get what you want.

BohemianGirl · 23/12/2013 20:35

Do you think it might be because you are unqualified for professional roles that interest you?

Finola1step · 23/12/2013 20:39

Mmm... Grass is always greener. I know a lot of animators who find the job very unfulfilling on the creative front, not to mention the lack of security as a freelancer.

Agree with Waffily. It's up to you to decide what you want and start making the small steps needed. So what do you want to do?

Original poster
scortja · 23/12/2013 20:39

I'm unqualified for everything and in truth I think I'm too old to start again..

By the time my youngest is in school I'll be 40 and although I'm sure there are inspiring stories of people changing careers at this age and older, I have to face the fact that I haven't had a career and am unlikely to..

OP posts:
merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 23/12/2013 20:39

So work towards getting a new one.

Foosyerdoos · 23/12/2013 20:40

What does uploading content involve?

merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 23/12/2013 20:41

So you're not yet 40? You'll be working until your 70 probably so I'd get cracking.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 23/12/2013 20:42

And there's the defeatist attitude.

Do you want to change your life?

Change it.

MrsLouisTheroux · 23/12/2013 20:42

What did you do before your children came along?

PacificDingbat · 23/12/2013 20:42

Nobody can possibly BU regarding how they feel.

But YABU to feel a helpless victim in this situation.

Retrain?
OU?
Volunteer in something that interests you?

What are you good at?
What are you interested in?
In an ideal world what kind of job would you like to be doing?
What can get you closer to that ideal?

You feel what you feel - nothing wrong with that.
It's what you do with your feeling of discontent that counts.

merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 23/12/2013 20:43

*you're Blush

permaquandry · 23/12/2013 20:44

Not to take anything away from how you are feeling but I saw a young women being a supermarket car parking attendant in the lashing wind and rain earlier, thought to myself, now THAT is a rubbish job.

eddielizzard · 23/12/2013 20:44

that is complete bullshit and another excuse not to do anything.

you can't make this about your age.

think about what you'd really like and just go for it. the only way to make a success is to commit yourself 100% and really go for it.

do you want to look back on your life and not have tried?

and finally, comparison is the thief of joy.

end of lecture.

Original poster
scortja · 23/12/2013 20:45

At least she was outside, permaquandry. At least she was outside.

OP posts:
MrsLouisTheroux · 23/12/2013 20:46

What I mean is, all of the people you talk about in your OP have got to 30/40/50 (?) and are qualified in something. Unless you started having DC at 18 and haven't stopped since, you have 20+ years where you must have trained in something?

Sharaluck · 23/12/2013 20:46

Having friends in your (ideal) field of work is a huge advantage. So use this to your advantage!

Why don't you have a think about your skills, strengths and interests and discuss some options with your friends. They will be able to give you an idea about the industry, training pathways, possible work experience opportunities etc

weeblueberry · 23/12/2013 20:47

Sounds like you're in a rut and aren't going to see anything positive about your situation no matter what quite frankly...

Original poster
scortja · 23/12/2013 20:49

I don't know what I want to do. And I kind of think that if I haven't been doing it since I was a teenager then I'm not really committed to it.. I can't suddenly decide I want to write radio plays when I haven't had a single impulse toward it before - can I?!

My big regret is giving up on a fine art degree. Having said that, once I quit the degree at 18 I never, not once, seriously created anything again. Proving that it probably wasn't for me in the first place.. Maybe - or maybe that's why I feel so awful..

OP posts:
Original poster
scortja · 23/12/2013 20:52

weeblueberry You are exactly right - I'm wallowing! I do feel almost comically outraged that it's ME that failed! ME!!! Wonderful, promising ME!!

MrsLouis I did a literature degree and some other bits to 'get into publishing'.. I took so many wrong turnings and have ended up where I am and I can't get out - won't go into detail.. Have been considering admin jobs.

OP posts:
kaatieexox · 23/12/2013 20:53

In my circle of friends I have the best payed job but I absolutely hate it! It's very different as to what I expected it to be. Once my little one is born (and after mat leave) I am going to have a serious think about my career!

My sister has just started training to be a midwife from working in the PS and she loves it! She has shown me that you can totally change your career, even with two very cheeky beautiful boys and a house to run! She is volunteering at our local hospital, I might even give her some experience when I go into labour (gulp!)

PacificDingbat · 23/12/2013 20:54

We can make ourselves happier according to a BBC report:

Studies collated by the database say you tend to be happier if you:

Are in a long-term relationship
Are actively engaged in politics
Are active in work and in your free time
Go out for dinner
Have close friendships (though happiness does not increase with the number of friends you have)
And there are some surprising findings:

People who drink in moderation are happier than people who don't drink at all.
Men tend to be happier in a society where women enjoy greater equality.
Being considered good looking increases men's happiness more than it does women's.
You tend to be happier if you think you're good looking, rather than if you actually, objectively speaking, are.
Having children lowers your happiness levels, but your happiness increases when they grow up and leave home.

Joysmum · 23/12/2013 20:55

Wow, good to know that at 40 I'm too old to improve on my life and can look forward to being stuck in a rut for the last 27 years before retirement.

If you really want something you'll find a way, if you don't then you'll find an excuse.

gigglestar · 23/12/2013 20:57

Waffily Grin

you don't have to stay stuck in a boring dead end job, you can look for something else. what else do u feel like doing?

Original poster
scortja · 23/12/2013 20:58

Having children lowers your happiness levels, but your happiness increases when they grow up and leave home.

Ha! Kind of like a counter-irritant?!

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 23/12/2013 20:58

Scorja, you are 40. You will retire at 70. That's another 30 years.

30 years ago you were 10 years old.

So how can it be too late?

I changed career completely aged 41 with 3 children.

Maybe your problem is that you are creative but you are lacking any immediate inspiration. That happens. Maybe you could start a blog, not expecting to be a wild success, but to get back in practice creating stuff.