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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Offered a council house but partner doesn't want to accept as it's 40 mins commute from work

256 replies

Zeta123 · 23/12/2013 20:27

I applied for council housing in the middle of November. I was offered a horrid house first and refused and was yesterday offered the most beautiful council house I have ever seen. It's 2 bedroom but in a lovely area and it's huge with a big garden. It's perfect, it even meets my partners very high standards. But he wants to refuse it as it's 45 mins from his work place and also isn't in the exact area that he wants. I'm trying to explain to him that it's not like buying a house. Although we have been offered two houses in the space of a few weeks this isn't the norm and it's actually hard to get a council house. I have wrote this thread in the hope that the replies will make him realise some people wait a long time for a house and are in much worse situation than us. We should be grateful to not only be offered a house but a beautiful one at that. So do you think he is being unreasonable and unrealistic to refuse a lovely house because of a 45 minute commute? How long did u wait for a house/ is there a long waiting list In your area? Also explain to him that in many areas we wouldn't even be housed at all as we only have one child and he works on quite a good job. We've accepted the house but he's not happy about it.

OP posts:
Dolallytats · 24/12/2013 08:09

I am currently lucky enough to have a HA flat in London. My entire family (mum, dad, sisters, brother, aunts, uncles etc) all moved to Essex several years ago.

Due to MH issues, I really need the support of my family and am on the list in Essex to get a council property. I have been on the list since early 2008 and have been told it will be at least another 2 years before I come close to an offer....and I am fairly high up the rating scale of need because of my MH.

I am glad you accepted the property because your DH is being very unrealistic. To be offered one property so quickly is almost unheard of, to be offered a second straight after is almost miraculous!!! (and I would love to know what area you are in!!)

I hope you are very happy in your new home Smile

Chuckthefucklebrothers · 24/12/2013 08:26

Dolallytats - have you looked at the possibility of exchanging? That's how we got the flat we're in now, was much quicker than just waiting. Good luck!

Joysmum · 24/12/2013 08:32

This isn't about what everyone else finds acceptable. Your partner has every right to not want to commute, whatever anyone else thinks.

If he knows the gains and still doesn't want the commute then he must feel strongly about it.

My hubby got a fab promotion this year that meant more money but I knew the impact this would have on him so I told him several times that we were doing ok and if he wanted to take the promotion it should be because he wanted the job, not because of the benefits it brought.

I can understand the want to have more and strive for better all the time but that doesn't always make for a happier life. He knows the benefits, it's up to him to decide and up to you to respect and support that.

QuintessentialShadows · 24/12/2013 08:46

Funny how the op has not been back to her thread and stopped interacting almost after her second post.

Just sayin...

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 24/12/2013 08:47

whoever asked why they should have to pay for someone who doesn't work as hard as them or some bollocks along those lines, what an utter dickhead you must be.

LightsPlease · 24/12/2013 08:50

Id love a forty minute commute. It takes me two hours to drive to work. Your husband is lazy. 40 minutes is more than reasonable.

vj32 · 24/12/2013 08:56

To the people that think that council housing pays for itself through rent - it clearly doesn't, sorry. If it paid for itself the government wouldn't have been so desperate to give it to housing associations, and those housing associations now wouldn't be facing the huge financial mess many of them are in. The ones that are still going and have not been taken over were either lucky to take over council stock in good repair and nice areas (haha!) or have successful more commercial arms that run other services, often other government contracts for things like social care.

I think the only solution is to have fixed term contracts, and after the fixed term you have a review of your financial situation. If you don't need council housing any more you are out, but with a deposit to help you private rent. Not because working people earning a decent salary are less deserving, but when there clearly isn't enough affordable housing for people who desperately need it. A local housing development to me had a house available part buy, part rent through a HA - a 5 bed house full price about £750,000. Why???? We need to accept that in all areas 'universal' benefits of all kinds are out because we can't afford them.

RedHelenB · 24/12/2013 09:07

I am going to disagree - you only went on the list a month ago & have already been offered two properties so in all likelihood you will get offered one in the preferred area. 1 hour 30 mins a day that your partner misses out with his child (and with you!) - I would take a less big garden and less nice house personally.

JinglingRexManningDay · 24/12/2013 09:31

Good luck in your new home OP.

Some very ignorant comments about council housing and working lower paid people. Funny how people who don't know jack shit about CH or low wages and rent keep arguing their point.

Fontofnowt · 24/12/2013 09:32

Grumpyoldbat said everything I think.

I believe this misinformation bandied around about social housing is fuelled by jealous they are getting 50p more than me types.
The facts are irrelevant to mouth foaming types.

Just in case anyone fancies a council home there are some here in sunny Sheffield on a first come first serve basis.
Everyone welcome.
Except Argumentsatxmas I would tire laughing at you all day.

mercibucket · 24/12/2013 09:41

thatcher would be proud Sad

council houses are not subsidised. it just doesn't cost all that much to maintain a house that was bought maybe 50 years ago
housing associations protected houses from being sold off to tenants once tenants were allowed to buy at below market levels. that was a conservative subsidy designed to get rid of all council houses.
councils houses were meant for everyone, police, teachers, manual workers

candycoatedwaterdrops · 24/12/2013 10:01

Council house envy is so unbecoming. Smile And no, I do not live in a council house but nor do I feel the need to bash the fuck out of those who do live in one.

coldwater1 · 24/12/2013 10:29

45 mins to commute is quite little imo. I commute 2 and half hours and the same back everyday!

To refuse a council house for that reason is ridiculous. I waited years in temporary accommodation before being offered a house that was in a disgusting state! Dog/cat soaked floor that stank, we had to chisel the old flooring up and we were gagging because of the stench, thick dog hair on the radiators and between the floorboards, leaking toilet, broken floorboards, windows that are so drafty WEEDS grow in the condensation gap but thats ok apparently, cat shit behind the kitchen cupboards that was there for a YEAR before i knew about it when i took the worktops off to change then because they were battered... this is just a taste of what i had to move into with my kids! You are lucky, it could be a whole lot worse than a 45 mins commute.

coldwater1 · 24/12/2013 10:30

*Dog/cat URINE soaked floor that stank, that should be.

WooWooOwl · 24/12/2013 10:34

Council house envy is no more unbecoming than owner occupier envy!

I don't have council house envy, but I will admit to being slightly envious of those who have as secure housing as I do, with as many rights to decorate their home as I do, but who don't have to pay maintenance costs. Paying off our desperately needed new boiler and buildings insurance and the policy that covers our heating, hot water and plumbing is a huge cost to us. Too right I'd prefer those to be covered as part of my normal housing costs!

NearTheWindmill · 24/12/2013 10:40

My husband has a 45/50 minute commute each day. That's very reasonable. We own our own house and used to live in zone 2. That was the closest we could afford at that time to Central London. It was still a 30/35 minute commute. Your dp needs to get real.

grumpyoldbat · 24/12/2013 10:41

We've had to find money to spend on ours to make it habitable. When we were given the keys there were no floor coverings and I had to scrub everywhere with bleach because it was so filthy including excrement on the walls. We look after it best we can now although I'm behind with the ironing due to putting in 80hr weeks up until the past week. Oh and most of them were unpaid though necessary to for my chance of a career in the future before I'm flammed for having too much money to be in a CH.

Most of my neighbours are either employed or retired. The retired have generally had their property since before retirement. The unemployed ones have been made redundant in the past couple of years.

needaholidaynow · 24/12/2013 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum · 24/12/2013 10:44

Can I speak up for the 'private, robbing landlords' here?
I should also state that I was on the board of a Housing Association for some years and was involved in developing and letting affordable housing and shared ownership housing. So I have seen both sides of the debate at first hand.

Private landlords have to pay market rates for the finance to buy properties, and they are taxed, usually at 40%, on any profits, as well as the profits of any sale (less the usual capital gains personal tax allowances). They also have to pay market rates for repairs and VAT is added onto this. Buildings insurance is again at market rates.

Social housing is usually built on publicly owned land where the profit motive is not a factor in the housing association acquiring it, so the land is usually free (in the case of redeveloping certain areas) or cheap, as part of a larger project usually. They do not pay Corporation Tax in the same way the private businesses do. They do not pay tax on their profits, in the conventional way that a property developer might do, as profits are reinvested for the public good. They are usually fairly substantial organisations and have large teams of tradesmen doing repairs, and they are able to negotiate lower hourly rates, plus they can reclaim VAT on certain repairs. They are able to benefit from special public sector rates on buildings insurance as they amortise the risk over larger numbers of publicly owned properties. If they need finance, for some reason, they are able to access preferential rates for finance as the risk of lending to a public sector organisation is seen as comparatively low compared to a private individual or small company. Small private landlords simply can't compete with all this.

So if you take a property at £1800 a month, as opposed to an affordable rent of £600, say mortgaged at £200k, let's break down the costs of the private sector property to see where the actual differences are. I have done this very roughly indeed and left out some of the more complex overheads, but it's just a very ballpark set of figures.

Difference in cost of finance typically = £300
Difference in buildings insurance costs = £60
Difference in VAT costs on say £100 a month repairs = £20
Difference in tradesman costs = £20
40% on £1400 (typical costs after overheads) = £560

So the landlord's actually making £860 of that, £8020 a year, but has to maintain the property (sinking fund of £1500 would be sensible) and draw a salary. If interest rates go up, they might actually have to top up the mortgage payments out of the profits from previous years. The landlord also needs to budget for two months' voids a year in case tenants don't pay or there is a problem letting the property, so that's £3920 a year, or £326 actual safeish income a month. That's not megabucks for a job where you find yourself occasionally called out at night to unblock drains and so on. (Caveat: My figures may not be perfect, but they give you an indication).

I think the problem is that we need to move away from a lot of little landlords reinventing the wheel, and towards a series of larger landlords with economies of scale and more recourse for tenants should things go wrong. However since the 1908s we decided to largely privatise the rented sector, and we've made it a lot more expensive than it needs to be, without tenants or landlords generally doing that well out of it. Our private rented sector is, in short, rather fucked.

RedHelenB · 24/12/2013 10:46

WooWooowl i don't believe you - fact is most people would rather own a home on a private housing estate than rent on a council one. If you really would rather have a council house sell your current home & get your name put down for one.

grumpyoldbat · 24/12/2013 10:48

Our area's housing is covered by the rent. I've read the end of year accounts a few times to know this.

TheDoctorSandshoesAndGrandad · 24/12/2013 10:50

The waiting lists here are around a year to get housed as a priority in Band A (e.g. Actually homeless), and the only reason it isn't longer is because some new properties have recently been built with a proportion designated for 'affordable housing'.

I rent privately and have been given notice that the landlord wants his flat back. Market rents are double social housing rents here and I cannot afford to cover it as a lone parent.

I'm having to pull my daughter out of school, leave my job, and move to an area 130 miles north where i know nobody just to keep a roof over out heads.

If I stayed here and waited for the courts to evict me, I'd be investigated by social services for failing to provide housing for my child, and we'd have to spend the bext year or so in temporary housing (hostel or similar)

It's a mess, you've been incredibly lucky, and your dh evidently needs to read the newspaper more often if he's entirely oblivious to the housing crisis in the UK.

WooWooOwl · 24/12/2013 10:51

I own an ex council home in a residential area that is a mixture of both privately owned and council rented. I have no desire to sell my home, but I really don't think I'm any better off at the moment than anyone who is renting from the council. In fact, I know I'm not.

I might be better off years into the future, but then again I might not be, especially if I am forced to sell my home to pay for care in old age that if I had rented I would have got for free.

I'm not trying to make this into a competition over who has it worse, that would be pointless. The only point I'm trying to make is that council house tenants are in a very fortunate position.

JinglingRexManningDay · 24/12/2013 10:55

I read a very wise phrase here and I'm going to reuse it. The only time you should look into your neighbours bowl is to see if its empty.

nennypops · 24/12/2013 10:57

Joysmum: I can understand the want to have more and strive for better all the time but that doesn't always make for a happier life. He knows the benefits, it's up to him to decide and up to you to respect and support that.

Why? Are you living in the 1950s? Why on earth don't OP's wishes come into this at all?