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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Offered a council house but partner doesn't want to accept as it's 40 mins commute from work

256 replies

Zeta123 · 23/12/2013 20:27

I applied for council housing in the middle of November. I was offered a horrid house first and refused and was yesterday offered the most beautiful council house I have ever seen. It's 2 bedroom but in a lovely area and it's huge with a big garden. It's perfect, it even meets my partners very high standards. But he wants to refuse it as it's 45 mins from his work place and also isn't in the exact area that he wants. I'm trying to explain to him that it's not like buying a house. Although we have been offered two houses in the space of a few weeks this isn't the norm and it's actually hard to get a council house. I have wrote this thread in the hope that the replies will make him realise some people wait a long time for a house and are in much worse situation than us. We should be grateful to not only be offered a house but a beautiful one at that. So do you think he is being unreasonable and unrealistic to refuse a lovely house because of a 45 minute commute? How long did u wait for a house/ is there a long waiting list In your area? Also explain to him that in many areas we wouldn't even be housed at all as we only have one child and he works on quite a good job. We've accepted the house but he's not happy about it.

OP posts:

mrsjay · 23/12/2013 20:41

i would have presumed that council houses were for those on benefits through illness or whatever

this is a misconception made by quite a lot of people it always astounds me people think this, my parents have had council houses for 40 years and always worked and paid rent I was in a council house 17 years and paid full rent

AlaskaNebraska · 23/12/2013 20:41

Yes, but council houses are more like Hen's teeth these days I thought

EirikurNoromaour · 23/12/2013 20:42

He's being a tit. I'd snap it up in a heartbeat! Does he really think something better will be handed on a plate?

Foxeym · 23/12/2013 20:42

I had to go on the swap list to get my house from a tiny horrible flat and it took ages. You are extremely lucky to get offered a house straight off! I now have 3DC and my partner and I both have an hours commute each way. I think a lot of people have to travel to work nowadays. It's good you've accepted as you would probably regret it if next time they offered you a crap flat in a tower block!

mrsjay · 23/12/2013 20:43

yes they are but it doesnt' mean working people shouldnt get them and yes like HEns teeth you are lucky to have a nice house op

Original poster

Zeta123 · 23/12/2013 20:43

He thinks if we turn it down we would have been offered another beautiful house in the area f his choice in a week or two! Oh the delusion! Thanks or the replies so far. Dp is reading them with me.

OP posts:

Debs75 · 23/12/2013 20:44

I'm glad you see sense OP Council houses can be like hens teeth in some areas. If you had refused this one I bet you would of been waiting at least 2-3 years before being considered for another.
Your partner really is being a dick about it. I assume the 45 mins is by car. If so then that isn't really a very long way. My BIL has a commute of 3 hours by car some days. Hell even I and DD walk for an hour to get to college.

Stripyhoglets · 23/12/2013 20:44

Glad to see you accepted as you may well have been knocked off the list completely if you turned another one down depending on your councils criteria. Also some councils will be looking at reducing the access to council houses to those with only the most need for one, you could have been stuck in private rented for ever.

FunkyBoldRibena · 23/12/2013 20:44

Oh well, if it isn't in the exact place he wants then by all means...

Perhaps he could send the council a wish list? Like when your kids send a list to santa. That should sort it.

lilyaldrin · 23/12/2013 20:45

Totally deluded.

What he could try doing is going on Homeswapper and asking for a swap for a house in his preferred area.

mrsjay · 23/12/2013 20:45

@Mr Zeta stop being a tool you might get offered a shit house in a shit area suck it up princess

merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 23/12/2013 20:46

My DP commutes about 2 and a half hours a day, we rent a one bed flat for £1,200. A two bed house would probably mean a three or four hour commute. He needs a bit of perspective OP

Enjoy your new house. You'll be in there for next Christmas!

Fairylea · 23/12/2013 20:46

If you're looking for a job don't the job centre expect you to travel up to an hour each way or more or something? Just from memory I think it's about that. A 45 minute commute is perfectly acceptable.

FalalalalalalaFiggy · 23/12/2013 20:47

That is not a long commute he is unreasonable

Stripyhoglets · 23/12/2013 20:47

Some councils will also bring in fixed term tenancies over the next few years, hang onto that house, you have been very very lucky.

GeeinItLaldy · 23/12/2013 20:47

I work for a housing authority and in my area, 2 offers in such quick succession is exceedingly rare. Waiting lists run to 4-5 years and much if what becomes available are in less than desirable areas. Quite frankly, to turn down a nice house in a good area would be fucking bonkers.

And 45 minutes is not much of a commute at all. I used to do that to school as we lived in a rural area and the secondary schools were in the nearest town 20 miles away. He needs to suck it up.

WilsonFrickett · 23/12/2013 20:48

Zeta's DP you are being a tit. Take the house. You can always swap later, although I think a wee look on whatever houseswap site your council uses will show you the amount of choice you'll have. You have, as someone said, been hit by the lucky stick.

ShinyBlackNose · 23/12/2013 20:48

We own our house, I commute 45 min each way, DH's journey time is double that. We really need a bigger house but in order to find one we can afford we have to move further away from work. Very many of the people we each work with live much further away than us.

Your partner needs to wake up. The days of living five minutes from work are long gone. He should be grateful you've got an amazing home.

willowstar · 23/12/2013 20:50

I'd be delighted to only commute 45 minutes, he is being silly.

Original poster

Zeta123 · 23/12/2013 20:51

Thanks for the replies. Dp says it's easy to get a council house, I hope he realises from some replies this isn't the case.

OP posts:

Chuckthefucklebrothers · 23/12/2013 20:52

We have been a bedroom short for 4.5 years (we have to sleep on a sofa bed in the front room) and we have only just got to the top of the waiting list. We're actually waiting to see if we've got a 3 bedroom house - longer than normal because of Xmas & new year! I went to have a nose thru the windows (it's empty, obviously!). The road's not as nice as the one we're in now & to be honest the house & garden is a bit of a state but if we get it, it will be the best Xmas present ever!

The chances of finding somewhere 100% perfect on the council are pretty remote & it's a bit arsey of your DH to expect it. Well done for sticking to your guns & enjoy your new home!

SugarCaneShortCake · 23/12/2013 20:52

OP - buy a lottery ticket! You are so lucky right now! Good luck in your new home.

RedLondonBus · 23/12/2013 20:54

What's the commute from the area he prefers?

Chuckthefucklebrothers · 23/12/2013 20:55

Oh and our local council have just implemented a rule that if you refuse a property without a good reason, you get taken off the list for 12 months.

Original poster

Zeta123 · 23/12/2013 20:56

The commute from his preferred area is five mins but he was happy to commute upto 20 mins

OP posts:

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