To have paid money for Dh's family not to stay with us over Christmas

[Upcycled]

Dh, Dd and I live in a small 2 bedroom flat and PIL live in a small 2 bedroom house two hours driving away. Every year Dh's two siblings come over from Scotland too. We can't go spend Christmas with PIL since I work Christmas eve and Dh and I works on Boxing day and we don't drive so it is easier if they come here. Specially because Dh is the cook and he prefers to cook in our kitchen.

Anyway, this year I had the crazy idea to rent out my neighbours 2 bedroom flat for the two nights the family will sleep over (since she is away for the season) just so PIL, BIL and SIL could sleep in proper beds and have some privacy. Also an extra bathroom will be handy.

When I told them about the plans yesterday, MIL said: oh exactly the same thing you have to do when we all spent Christmas at SIL's in Scotland. I had to bite my tongue because in my head I wanted to say: No MIL, actually when we were invited to spend Christmas with SIL in Scotland we had to stay with baby Dd in a rough B&B (which had no one responsible to and we could't get new bed covers after Dd vomited), up a steep heel, sharing a bathroom and kitchen with strangers, putting our food in a communal fridge (yes we had to buy some food) and we paid ourselves for the privilege therefore getting in debt because we were skint at the time. Whereas you and FIL stayed in SIL's spare room, not having to climb up and down the hill with a baby under the snow

Now, I am not expecting they to pay me anything and won't ask but should I take it if they offer, (I think they won't)?

I guess that I am ranting because we all went to pantomime and lunch the other day and PIL wanted to go to lunch afterwards and picked Weatherspoon because FIL was going to pay for lunch. As PIL had organised the pantomime tickets, I thought it would be unfair for them to pay for lunch as well so I ordered and payed whit out expecting BIL and SIL to chip in which they didn't anyway...fine.

But now I see on FB that the four of them went to a posh very restaurant for dinner tonight and we were not included...nice.

Oh and they always plan something to do on Boxing day and never include us. And that is why now we just go to work and that is it.

Sorry looooong.

Just wanted to rant.

I think we all matured over the years and the shock of totally different cultures are easier to deal with now.
I also think they are drinking less each year (Dh too) and this makes things more real and less awkward ifkwim.

Maybe the lack of drinks, offers of help and what you consider to be generally unacceptable behaviour by your Ils is all because they aren't mind readers? I think it is more to do with different personalities and culture. But I am fine with it now.

I must admit there were times when I genuinely thought they were doing o purpose to piss me off but now I realise this was incredible childish of me.

I first opened the thread before Christmas so I wasn't sure if renting my neighbour's flat it was reasonable and necessary at all stealth, but now I see it was indeed the best decision and I hope I can do it again next year.

Clearly OP is not perfect but since when on mumsnet has it been perfectly fine for a dh to "insist" his family (not just parents) come to stay year after year when they don't have the space, and since when has GPS insustence on being there at silly o'clock to see all presents being opened been absolutely fine?
I haven't read the other thread, but I think the OP is getting a rough ride on this one!

Ah yes I see that now, apologies