To think it's a bit late to drop out of Christmas dinner

[happydazed]

Sorry, another Christmas thread. Got a text before to say sil won't be coming over at Christmas, she's ddecided to go out with friends instead, I invited her months ago and she always said she was coming, we see her quite regularly.,only last week she talked about what time she was getting here

I have already bought food, presents, sorted sleeping arrangements, all to include her. There will be 11 people so I know really one less won't make much difference but still, it just seems rude to me to drop out this late.

I think for Christmas you need to play at least a month in advance so people know what their options are. We can't always travel far due to work committments, but this year can so are travelling for 8 hours to see family. There will be 10 of us on xmas day and my brother needed to know who was comint to cater and whether to post or bring presents. My sister is single but loves seeing us all and wouldn't pull out at the last minute (although her ex was inclined to feign last minute illnesses to avoid family gatherings which is one of the reasons he's an ex, she'd have preferred him to just say he didn't want to go somewhere in the first place).
I think if someone over 25 that wasn't one of my children or stepchildren couldn't decide whether they were coming to us for xmas less than a week in advance I'd be telling them that they weren't coming as I'm busy with work and shopping and xmas social events and need to plan large meals in advance, so if they're waiting for a better offer they have 1 less option in coming to me.
The feeling unwanted stuff and needing extra reassurance makes her sound a bit thin skinned and precious unless you have some nasty extended relatives coming to lunch.

Oh, my BIL and SIL still haven't declined our Christmas day offer, we know they are having PIL over on Christmas morning before they come to us to see DN, so I assume that means they aren't coming to us with PIL. But they haven't actually bothered to say so. I assumed they'd decided not to come about a month ago (when PIL got the breakfast invite) and told DH I didn't want him to push for an answer, we've asked them both twice, they know they are invited and they know they haven't actually said they aren't coming. I am not going to make it easy for them.

Should they decide on the lsat minute they are coming to us afterall, tough, I've not catered for them.

(Last year they only told PIL they were goign to them on 23rd, so it could be a record late message if we get told tomorrow)

Better that someone drop out than suddenly land on you. You need to chill.