To stop the kissing?

[Wikkiwoo]

My family have never been the 'kissing' type family - as in when greeting or saying goodbye to each other.
However, DH's family are. Up until now, I have always gone along with it, even though it makes me uncomfortable. But, 12 years later and I still feel uncomfortable about it. I know FIL knows it makes me uncomfortable but instead of easing off a little, he is over the top and exaggerated which TBH is the problem.

I really need to put a stop to the kissing (especially the way in which FIL is) but how? I wouldn't mind but we see him 5 x a week!!!

Aibu to ask him to stop?

My mum always kisses on the lips - even my partners which I find very cringey.

I also turn my cheek.

twit, where on earth do you come up with the idea you think some people do it "to be interesting"???

Because some people do. Loads of people do it because that's who they are/ how they were raised/etc.which is great, but the il's have only started doing it after spending Christmas Eve with my sils parents, who are people for whom it is normal. Just like before then I got shit for asking for a book for ds that he really wanted, then the next year being talked to amount how they always get the gcs books because its so important.

I hate being kissed on the lips by anyone other than my husband - urgh!
Fortunately my lot are not very kissy - a quick hug on arrival & leaving is about it. Same with friends really.

I think folk generally are getting more kissy though - when I pick up son from school all the teenage girls are hugging & kissing each other goodbye at the school gate - we never did that!

My Irish MIL kisses DH on the lips and me fully on the cheek. She has a very wet kiss and I cringe at both. Always have to find a subtle way to wipe my cheek after. Shudder.

It's obviously not because I'm Irish that I don't like it then must just be certain families!

It takes up so much time too!
Think I might just be mean but In-laws stand up to leave and don't actually back out the drive for another half an hour.

Half an hour of shuffling along the hall, hugging, kissing then more faffing at the doorstep. It isn't just because they're in-laws - this frustrates me when anyone does it!

Ffs just GO

im a huggy person allways gives hugs and kiss (on cheek) to family.. hugs to close friends.. they kiss on the cheek which i can handle.. but i cant do it back) for hello goodbye.

its comeplete strangers or people you only sort of know, basically any one who i dont class as close family or close friends. that i hate hate hate.. so much that when they do go in i freeze and seize up. thats for hugs or kiss's.

you could say every time youv got the lergi so dont want to pass it on and hope he gets the message.

Oh god WHY do people suddenly want to kiss and hug each other? It is the most painfully awkward thing ever. I tried to fit in, I did, I tried to hug someone once. (A mner no less!) It was very uncomfortable for both of us. I won't be doing it again.

I suggest that you put your hand out firmly to offer a handshake (it creates a barrier. He can't get close for a kiss if your arm is in the way) - but make sure that it is high. If you think a kiss is awkward, wait until you've cupped his knackers.

or brandish the nutcracker...

Oh I feel your pain. I am NOT tactile but my in laws are.

I tend to put my arms out v stiffly and that prevents them getting too close iyswim

I agree - never been a kissing family and in Scotland it certainly wasn't the done thing that females ever kissed other females.

I never kiss or hug any of my female friends or relatives.

Unfortunately OH's family do kiss and hug and, horror of horrors, his father always tries to kiss me on the lips!!!

Ledkr... yy at 'The Walking Dead' pincer movement from family when I'm trying to edge towards the door...

Why-oh-why won't a cheery wave suffice?

Could you get one of those cones for around your neck that the vets give you when your dog has stitches? Perhaps you could just slip it on at high-risk moments like arriving and leaving?

I love the stiff arms idea. Im defo going to try that.
My mate suggested I headbutt the first kisser and then stand back with a wild look in my eye asking "whos next then"
A mumsnetter once suggested I honk fils balls as he leans in.

lying its terrifying isnt it? Theres about 15 of them advancing towards me lips pursed.

Iike the dog cone idea I may invest in some really bright gooey lipgloss, that will learn them.

OP, you could be me. My family are Northerners; we don't do kissy cheek mwah stuff. Dh's family (Southerners), however, bloody love it. I really don't cope with being touched so it totally freaks me out, but I haven't found a polite way to avoid it. Even backing away from them and waving nervously whilst whimpering "hello" hasn't effectively communicated just how much I hate the kissing.

Is it a North/South thing?

I may invest in some really bright gooey lipgloss, that will learn them.

Actual genius. I'm trying this.

MIL is a kisser. When I first started going out with DH she used to kiss me, which was a bit odd because we hate each other. One time after she had annoyed me, by interfering, yet again, I put my hand up and stopped her. She still tried, which led to an undignified tussle in the hallway, so I told her never to touch me again with a slightly manic look in my eye.

If FIL tried it I'd knock him out.

My family aren't kissers but I'm happy to kiss my friends on occasion, not just to say hello and goodbye though.

Im going to, shall we compare and contrast after the xmas visits and see if it works.
We have to make sure we get it on their clothes and in their hair for full deterring effects.

Smiteyou I thought it was a Scottish/English thing but may be a North/South thing too.

As a family we never had any physical contact but my XH's family from the south of England were all kissers and huggers.

I think that's where my aversion stems from although it has become more common up here in recent years too.

Oh dear. I love to give people a kiss and a hug on greeting them. My children are the same. I hope none of you are my relatives. Oops.

I'm a big kisser/hugger and love all that. DH isn't though and dislikes it as much as I like it, so I do understand where you are coming from.

Never on the lips though. Oh no. That's strictly for someone you're having a sexual relationship with.

Ruby - If they get a wild eyed look and take an involuntary step backwards - take the hint!

A bit off original topic but something that makes me cringe is when I'm in a church and they do the dreaded "Let's pass the peace" which usually consists of random people coming up and kissing and hugging you.

Cue me cowering in my seat thinking "Leave me alone, please leave me alone"

I agree it's a north south thing. My family never kiss or hug. Ever since I moved south I've been in a permanent state of mild panic about whether I should be kissing once, twice or not at all. Then I married a Dutchman and his family kiss everyone three times on arrival and departure. Oh dear Lord.

I have to say though, dh absent mindedly leaning over to kiss my Dad while caught up in the moment at our wedding was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

The thing I don't like is when people kiss me on the lips. Apart from DH of course.

Am I weird, or is it a bit strange to see people kissing their children on the lips? To me, that's a sexual partners thing. Obviously not to them, though- not suggesting child abuse here!