Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to have choke-slammed the people who rubbed money on my newborn son?

114 replies

puntasticusername · 22/12/2013 23:41

Another "unsolicited touching" thread, sorry.

I was in the pub today with DS2 (4 days old) (no no, I wasn't getting leathered, it was just the most convenient place to get a coffee and to feed and settle him out of the cold).

As we went to leave, I wheeled him past a table full of people who were, er, full of Christmas spirit and desperate to have a look at him in his pram.

I didn't mind that at all, so I stopped the pram and started answering re name, birth weight, did he give me a rough time etc.

Then, to my surprise, two of them whipped out their wallets and started digging around for loose change. They each produced a 20p piece and said it's a Scottish custom to rub a coin on the new baby and leave it tucked into his clothing somewhere. It brings good luck. I didn't mind, did I?

At this point all I could think was "I've never ever heard of that custom but Omg, surely coins are some of the least hygienic things you could possibly contrive to rub on a new baby", and I didn't quite manage to construct the polite refusal that I ideally would have liked. So they went ahead and rubbed the coins on his cheek. Then we left, with their boozy good wishes ringing in our ears.

One of them was very pleased that he managed to get DS to "hold" his coin himself, by tucking it in his coat sleeve, but the other (a woman) gave her coin to me and said aside "obviously it would actually be very silly to leave a coin inside a baby's clothes...you will take that other one out as soon as you get out of here won't you...Ok, good".

So...just on the basis that I felt instinctively uncomfortable with this unfamiliar ritual, I do rather wish I'd come up with some way of firmly putting them off, though without being rude to them...but based on other threads on here lately I'm now starting to feel that I really should have been as "forthright" as was necessary to persuade them to desist. But they were so nice, and so genuinely pleased to see my baby - and are they that likely to have done him any harm whatsoever, really? I was rather touched by the joy they took in a child they didn't know and who means nothing to them, but who they wanted to celebrate simply for being born.

(I do wish it to be noted that I did not go overboard re the hygiene aspect, and I refrained from rubbing his little cheek raw with a wet wipe as soon as we were out of sight. I Let It Go).

WIBU to let them do the weird money thing - was it pleasant and harmless, or have I actually kind of let my son down a bit by not protecting him from such random acts by strangers? I don't know, and quite possibly I'm just vastly over thinking the whole thing as I'm a hormonal new mum.

OP posts:
AndYouCanDance · 23/12/2013 06:47

OP YANBU, simply because you had a baby four days ago.

However the posters who are being all pearl-clutchy about choke slamming, are being very unreasonable.
Please familiarise yourselves with the term tongue-in-cheek.

dontcallmemam · 23/12/2013 06:53

I think YABU. You have a 4 day old baby, you're dressed, out & about and having coffee.
Shame on you; you should be weeping quietly in bed covered in baby sick surrounded by laundry.
Congratulations.

wonkylegs · 23/12/2013 06:58

We had it too in the NE of England too.
Caught me by surprise how many complete strangers and people I only know in passing (milkman) etc insisted on rubbing 50/£1 on DSs hand and giving it to me.
As I'm southern I still reel at how friendly complete strangers are generally so it caught me off guard.
Re: germs - they are everywhere and you'll soon have a little monster that eats/licks everything on the ground so there will be plenty of time to freak out when your toddler presents you with a half chewed spider.

SarahFx · 23/12/2013 07:20

It's a North East England thing too, except they give £1 coins so a bit more generous!

I made a fortune when son was tiny, didn't bother me one bit and he survived.

IamGluezilla · 23/12/2013 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stubbs0412 · 23/12/2013 07:35

You should have choke slammed them into the middle of next week! How dare they!
Very brave going out 4 days pp took me 2 weeks.
They meant well and it's natural to be protective. Hope things are going well.

kungfupannda · 23/12/2013 07:35

I'm from the north-east, and this is normal there too. There's a reference in my baby book to people giving me "silver" when I went on my first outing as a baby.

I'm not sure what the life-expectancy is in the north-east, however. Hmm

kungfupannda · 23/12/2013 07:36

Re-reading that message - the comment re: life-expectancy is obviously aimed at the Scottish life-expectancy post - not a genuine musing on the life-expectancy of my fellow northerners.

Just in case the Hmm wasn't emphatic enough!

Chuckthefucklebrothers · 23/12/2013 07:51

Primafacie - what an unpleasant & spiteful thing to post.

OP - congrats on the new baby!

Primafacie · 23/12/2013 07:54

The life expectancy comment was a joke - my whole post was very clearly light hearted Confused I didn't mean to cause offence, apologies if I did.

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/12/2013 08:02

Ignore all the coin stuff.

But you really should be aiming for nice snugly bed a hot choc and baby head smelling combined with loads of good films as opposed to having to go out in the bloody cold, unless of course you really wanted to go out in the cold and enjoy that sort of thing.

puntasticusername · 23/12/2013 08:03

dontcallmemam hmm, I don't think I specified that I was dressed, did I? Grin

Thankyou everyone, yes it's all going really well thanks. Looking forward to our first Christmas all together!

OP posts:
googietheegg · 23/12/2013 08:05

Yanbu. I would have hated this!! It's dangerous and unhygienic and unnecessary.

monicalewinski · 23/12/2013 08:19

primafacie I read it as a joke - I laughed ConfusedGrin

Puntastic Congratulations!! Get out and make money while you can - we lived in the north of Scotland when I had my two and I made a fortune!!

KingRollo · 23/12/2013 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passmethecrisps · 23/12/2013 08:33

I had never heard of this either. Dd got lots of money from strangers but they never rubbed it on her.

Our car seat used to rattle with pound coins.

I would have hated it had they been touching her with them. My baby, my neuroses I figure!

Congrats and good job on leaving the house!

SomethingkindaOod · 23/12/2013 08:42

It's a custom in the NW too, if you walk last a bus stop with lots of older people at it you can make a fortune Grin
Rubbing the coin is traditional too, generally on the hand. After the first time it happens you tend to get a bit more relaxed about the germ situation! (She says after picking her third child out of the flower bed yet again with a mouthful of dirt yesterday...)
Congratulations on the new baby and be kind to yourself! You're not as strong as you feel at this point so be careful (sorry if that sounds patronising, it's not meant to be, just bitter experience).

bunnymother · 23/12/2013 08:46

The coin stuff is gross - coins are like Petrie dishes - but the intentions were sweet, so well done for being gracious to the well wishers. I was the same - dying inside but smiley on the outside while people grabbed my babies' hands. Congrats on your DS2,

Mignonette · 23/12/2013 08:48

It seems to be custom everywhere. I'm a Southerner and coined it when my children were born. Used to pick them out of the pram and find the odd coin (which used to make me worry about them choking on an unseen coin) that well wishers had secreted.

puntasticusername · 23/12/2013 08:49

"You're not as strong as you feel" - ain't that the truth? I had a burst of energy yesterday and decided to do some vacuuming. What a bloody stupid idea that was. When did that bastard thing get so HEAVY?

Thanks also for the tip off about today being an emotional day, I'll bear that in mind.

OP posts:
OOAOML · 23/12/2013 10:58

One of my babies once got a tenner peeled off a drunken man's wad of cash - maybe you should hang out where the drunk people are? Wink

specialsubject · 23/12/2013 11:09

if babies were that fragile none of us would be here.

put your reaction down to hormones, say thank you and move on.

congratulations on your new arrival.

MyLittleFinger · 23/12/2013 11:18

Crossing the palm with silver is a tradition in England too, when mine were tiny I was dead chuffed that people took an interest in my little babies.

Congratulations OP Xmas Smile

jamdonut · 23/12/2013 11:21

Didn't know it was a Scottish custom, but I can remember people crossing the palms of my children with silver, and also my younger sister when she was born (back in 1973). I think it is a nice custom. Try not to let yourself get too worked up about "germs". Obviously it's important, but you could drive yourself mad by overthinking it.

soverylucky · 23/12/2013 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread