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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People like me and I don't know why.

26 replies

fluffyduckie · 22/12/2013 16:50

People seem to like me and do nice things for me - just got some hand embroidered handkerchiefs from a lady I know last week - but I really don't know why. I mean if they knew the real me then I don't think they would be as friendly. I try to be kind and polite to everyone but still get annoyed and irritated and I tend to be sarcastic and flippant.

I just feel like they must only see the surface of me and if they saw this real character that lurks then they would run a mile. People (well women - men don't notice me much unless they are pensioners) just talk to me even if I don't know them. In shops, in queues, on the bus, just anywhere.

I asked a friend (in a round about way) if she ever felt like this but she said that she was just herself.

OP posts:
TwoPeasOnePod · 22/12/2013 17:02

I feel EXACTLY the same. And underneath it I am a self-confessed arsehole. It sometimes worries me that I won't be able to make many solid friends who can cope with what's past the exterior. However I think it's to do with self esteem needing a boost- they are attracted to us because we are ace Grin keep telling yourself that.
As an aside, I didn't know you could still routinely get handkerchiefs?! They seem to be a thing of the past I am am actual gimmer aged 26

formerbabe · 22/12/2013 17:09

I am always smiley and nice and often think 'if only u knew what I really thought of u'!

ihatethecold · 22/12/2013 17:13

blow your own trumpet.
Hmm

PumpkinPositive · 22/12/2013 17:15

You probably have a sweet face. I have the opposite problem. People are terrified of my bitch face. It's great.

LovelyMarchHare · 22/12/2013 17:18

Babies always love me. It can be quite embarrassing. They stare and smile and wave even if I try TK ignore them. I've seen them push their mums head out of the way to get a better look! Dont think I'm such a hit with adults tho b

LovelyMarchHare · 22/12/2013 17:18

Babies always love me. It can be quite embarrassing. They stare and smile and wave even if I try TK ignore them. I've seen them push their mums head out of the way to get a better look! Dont think I'm such a hit with adults tho b

bishbashboosh · 22/12/2013 17:21

I know what you mean I have a friendly, sweet face and look younger than I am and it pisses me of as I am more tough Nd more intelligent than I look

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake · 22/12/2013 17:22

How is it blowing her own trumpet? It was quite the opposite.

DoctorTwoTurtleDoves · 22/12/2013 17:26

I'm the same LovelyMarchHare, for some reason babies and toddlers adore me. Nobody else does though. Hmm :o

BitchyFestiveFace · 22/12/2013 17:35

LovelyMarchHare me too Xmas Grin

I think it's because I have very dark hair and pale skin and big dark eyes. I think it's the contrasts they like (like the little baby books with black and white geometric designs).

Original poster
fluffyduckie · 22/12/2013 18:05

You can still buy the plain handkerchiefs in places like Boyes - they are good for embroidering or adding a crochet edge to. Not that I can actually crochet! Am 28 but have old lady habits

It just feels like it is all on the surface and that I am misleading people. I don't know - I just worry that the truth will come out and then I will be on my own.

It is strange that it is women of all ages but only men who are maybe 70 plus. Maybe men are just more able to see past the surface.

OP posts:
purrforamincepie · 22/12/2013 18:13

Op I think maybe you are far nicer than you're aware of. In recent times I've become convinced I'm dour and boring, yet a friend recently commented on how lively I am and how I like a bit of glitz. Cheered me right up.

purrforamincepie · 22/12/2013 18:15

You've got the username of fluffyduckie yet you're talking like, oh if only they knew! Are you a real life Dexter?

somedizzywhore1804 · 22/12/2013 18:16

Not sure people who know me like me Grin but people always talk to me in queues and stuff, I think I must look unthreatening!

persimmon · 22/12/2013 18:20

You're probably completely normal and nice. Presuming that people generally aren't stupid, you MUST have some lovely quality(ies) that they pick up on. Don't be too hard on yourself!

Original poster
fluffyduckie · 22/12/2013 19:44

Not quite a Dexter! Being nice doesn't seem to come naturally to me - I get ratty easily especially if I am tired and I am a bit fluffy and giggly which even annoys me sometimes.

OP posts:
NewtRipley · 22/12/2013 20:09

fluffy

Sounds like you have high expectations of yourself or are too focussed on your own thoughts. You don't know what other people are thinking either, do you/

Don't compare your insides to other people's outsides.

NewtRipley · 22/12/2013 20:11

I know what you mean about annoying yourself!

NewtRipley · 22/12/2013 20:12

Do you feel you get the opportunity to look outwards and help other people? Doing nice things for others, rather than just being the recipient, might make you feel more "authentic". Just a thought

Timeforabiscuit · 22/12/2013 21:00

I'm nice, very approachable, friendly, team player, kind to small animals - people ALWAYS ask me for directions

I am also an utter utter cunt, this is mine and dhs cross to bear.

NewtRipley · 22/12/2013 21:25

Time Grin

I think that only my DH knows what a black heart I have

puntasticusername · 22/12/2013 21:34

Ah. I think I see the problem. You have a Toilet Face.

Someone at work introduced me to this concept. She was complaining to her mum that people always come up to her when she's out and ask if she knows where the nearest public loo is.

"That's easy, dear", said the mum. "You have a Toilet Face".

She does, too, she just looks very sweet and friendly and sympathetic. You'd totally throw yourself on her mercy if you needed to know where the loo was. If she didn't know where it was, she'd help you find it.

AnuvvaMuvva · 22/12/2013 21:44

I'm extremely pleased nobody was here with me just then to hear the HUGE snotty snort I did when I read, "That's easy dear, you have a Toilet Face."

AnuvvaMuvva · 22/12/2013 21:44

:)

perplexedpirate · 22/12/2013 21:56

I know exactly how you feel OP.
Weird, isn't it, what these people must see that we don't?