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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this a fucking horrible attitude to another human being?

50 replies

Whattheactualfuck82 · 21/12/2013 21:01

I have name changed about this and sorry it is a Facebook one. But I'm absolutely stunned at the post which has just come up on my timeline for a 'friend' who is an expat:

^It's been a stressful week with poor xxx (our helper) being hospitalised with pneumonia. Racing to hospital with her in an ambulance on Tues morning and now she is in the cardiac unit as she apparently has a "serious" heart disease.

All very sad. It was really lovely gettinghome from the hospital tonight being handed a lychee martini as I walked in the door by xxxx and a delicious meal cooked. Just what the doctor ordered'^

Is it just me or does that post show a monumental amount of insentitivety towards another human being? I found it monumentally callous.

OP posts:
StarsUponThars · 21/12/2013 21:02

Well, yes, but I'm sure that they didn't mean it to sound like that.

Writerwannabe83 · 21/12/2013 21:03

I find it odd that she is broadcasting someone else's health status for all and sundry to see...

Original poster
Whattheactualfuck82 · 21/12/2013 21:04

That is verbatim what she said. I'm just stunned. Especially at the inverted commas for "serious". And 'oh she's dying, but look at me, I have a lovely lychee martini'.

OP posts:
drbonnieblossman · 21/12/2013 21:04

YANBU. That is truly awful. What would have given me the pip mainly is the "serious" in speech marks - always implies they're taking the piss and being undermining. Delete them.

Mumzy · 21/12/2013 21:07

Unfortunately in certain areas of SE Asia this attitude to the hired help by locals and expats is common. Maids etc are seen and treated as subhuman

Writerwannabe83 · 21/12/2013 21:07

I took the speech marks to mean she was just quoting what the Doctors had said, not that she was minimising/taking the piss???

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 21/12/2013 21:07

It is horrendous.

Yanbu

MamaMary · 21/12/2013 21:08

I agree there is something very 'off' about the post.

It's not uncommon for expats to become very offhand about their servants staff IME.

FantasticDay · 21/12/2013 21:09

Yes. I thought she was quoting too.

Alanna1 · 21/12/2013 21:09

Badly worded, yes, but is she not saying - I had a hard day and am now having wine?

MamaMary · 21/12/2013 21:10

Agree mumzy expats in a certain part of SE Asia where my parents lived all lived in massive sprawling homes which had a maid's quarters' - a tiny boxroom off the kitchen. I remember being quite shocked by it.

My parents didn't have a live-in maid, but most expats did.

saintlyjimjams · 21/12/2013 21:12

She is seeking sympathy through someone else's misfortune, broadcasting her kindness she thinks along with what a hard few days it's been for her.

It shows a staggering lack of self awareness

saintlyjimjams · 21/12/2013 21:13

I did read the 'serious' as quoting.

DoJo · 21/12/2013 21:15

It's tricky - if she's normally a morally bankrupt wanker, then I would agree with a negative interpretation. On the other hand, it could be interpreted that she was so worried about xxx that she has really needed to unwind at the end of what could have been a horribly stressful, scary and emotionally draining week. Presumably she has been visiting her employee in hospital today, which suggests that she cares, but you know her and we don't so if you think she really is callously kicking her heels up whilst her helper languishes in hospital then yes, she is despicable.

AwfulMaureen · 21/12/2013 21:18

I agree a little Dojo but having said that, the self indulgent entitled air of her paragraph after the first indicates she's just an awful morally bankrupt eejit.

noseymcposey · 21/12/2013 21:19

I think you are over-reacting a little bit. I think it is supposed to read like 'it's been a horrible week, very worried about xxx now having a drink to unwind'. Which is not dissimilar to what a lot of people post.

Maybe it's the fact that she's talking about 'staff' and then the 'lychee martini' sounds a little pretentious and just gives off a vibe of being a bit of twat. I wouldn't say it's a horrible attitude to another human being though.

LoisWilkerson1 · 21/12/2013 21:19

Very callous to broadcast someone's health problems! following up with 'on the upside I'm having a great night' is just bizarre!

pixiepotter · 21/12/2013 21:20

I read "serious" as being a quote too.And then after such a harrowing experience she was appreciative of a drink and a good meal.
I am not sure what you are getting at

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 21/12/2013 21:21

'Poor old me, my maid has been sick, I've been amazing, heroically racing along to the hospital. Im a great boss. She might "die." Ho hum. Anyway enough about her, time for some alcohol (naughty!!) and dinner nom nom and a little joke to show that despite this tragedy I've still got my good sense of humour"

BitOfFunWithSanta · 21/12/2013 21:22

I think if it were a quote, it would be more natural to quote "a serious cardiac condition", perhaps prefaced by "what the doctors are saying is".

YANBU. She sounds like a wanker.

ChestnutsroastingintheFireligh · 21/12/2013 21:22

I don't see the issue

If I'd had such an horrendous & worrying time taking someone to hospital I'd be blinking glad if someone had a glass ready for me as I walked back in.

AwfulMaureen · 21/12/2013 21:23

Yes...it's the mentioning of the "Lychee" martini and the "delicious" meal which seems to indicate she can still have a nice time despite the sad occasion. Not suggesting she dons a hair shirt and drinks piss...but you know.

AwfulMaureen · 21/12/2013 21:24

A glass? On it's own Chestnuts?

HyvaPaiva · 21/12/2013 21:24

I think the 'just what the doctor ordered' is the only bit that's very misplaced. It sits very badly after a paragraph about actual doctors' orders about cardiac problems. That made me wince but the rest of it (appreciative of food and drink after sad news) doesn't strike me as horrible.

RenterNomad · 21/12/2013 21:24

Am I the only one wondering who made the martini, if the helper was in hospital? Blush