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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate having house guests.

56 replies

Downandspout · 21/12/2013 17:24

On some level I know I am... Am looking for company though Wink as I feel guilty. We live abroad, holidays are here as are the guests...
I hate feeling lost in my own home. DH's family love light whereas at night I prefer my soft, well placed low light. But no we have to have every fecking ceiling light on....... So no effect from twinkling lights on the tree! I don't much like having my own guests to stay... Isn't this why hotels exist!!! I love all of these people I really do I just don't like them staying in my home... And we have the space Shock

I know I sound petty, just popped on to vent.

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/12/2013 19:56

Both having guests and being one are a colossal PITA.
YANBU.

echt · 21/12/2013 19:59

I'd gag for visitors, living in Australia, but still like it to be brief, which it never can be, so I feel your pain, and the conflicted feelings.

The lighting… I loathe overhead lights too, except in the kitchen and bathroom. Definitely sidelights for me, and movable floor lamps to read. the IKEA one that's in Sherlock's flat.

Is there any way of telling your guests all that floodlighting makes them look ugly? :o

TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/12/2013 20:00

Actually, one night, maybe two, is manageable. Any longer gets difficult for me tbh.
And I find being a guest much more stressful than having guests.

SnakeyMcBadass · 21/12/2013 20:08

My parents are coming tomorrow until the 27th. MIL is arriving on the 24th and also leaving on the 27th. No one ever stays less than two nights. I sedate myself.

teenybash7 · 21/12/2013 20:16

Think I must be seriously weird - I love having people to stay nearly as much as I love bright ceiling lights ...

Sorry.

Steben · 21/12/2013 20:18

Hate ceiling lights and long staying house guests yanbu

Jinglebellsforthebetter · 21/12/2013 20:22

WineWineWine

Another main light-hater here Smile

I would be tempted to remove the offending bulbs Wink

CremeEggThief · 21/12/2013 20:22

YANBU. I don't like having guests for longer than a night or two and I don't really enjoy being a guest either!

coffeeinbed · 21/12/2013 20:24

Some people I love having around.
Others not so much.
Inlaws even less so.

PowerPants · 21/12/2013 23:01

Mrs DavidBowie - same here!

I want to slob around in an evening with my bra off not make small talk with guests.

Mrswellyboot · 21/12/2013 23:04

No, I don't like having overnight guests. Whilst i love it being just the three of us, I am happy alone.. Also love low lighting and candles. Dh put dimmers in all rooms.

TyrannosaurusBex · 21/12/2013 23:15

IAdefinitelyU as I love my friends coming to stay but loathe it when DH's come - same with being a guest, my friends yes, DH's no. Although I have one friend who always wants the ceiling light on to knit when she visits. She doesn't get invited so often.

SmellyFartado · 21/12/2013 23:34

OP - I salute you. I concur, I bloody hate having house guests, HATEITHATEITHATEIT......We both work full time with DC's - our time is not our own anyway yet we have family that like to descend and treat time with us as like being at an all inclusive resort where they do absolutely nothing but relax for a week while I am pulling my hair out and stressed to the point of sobbing in our bedroom.

I love hosting but not to the point where I feel like the home help/staff Xmas Angry

MrsDavidBowie · 22/12/2013 07:56

Ha Powerpants!

Dh would love that tooGrin
we are visiting FIL today (2 hour drive, 3 hour visit, then home) and I am already psyching myself up for his toilet. Sad

WeWishYouAWelliesChristmas · 22/12/2013 08:03

I hate being a houseguest very much, and I am over having guests. We live in a popular tourist area, so get landed on very very frequently. Christmas time is not too bad- the Ils come but they do their own thing pretty much. The only real problem is that they like a full dinner served at 13.00, which means the whole week is spent cooking for lunch, then cleaning up, then getting a smaller dinner then cleaning up. Sigh. They are here 6 days this year.

WeWishYouAWelliesChristmas · 22/12/2013 08:07

I know what you mean Smelly also- people forget it is their holiday but your life. Last year we had two friends of my DMother's stay for 4 days; 'Because they would so love to catch up with you' (Yeah right, they wanted free board while travlling!). They kindly offered to cook us dinner on the Sunday night, but got pissed at the pub and did not start cooking until nearly 10 pm. I had to give the Dcs baked beans on toast and send them to bed, and we did not eat until nearly midnight because being pissed they could not work out the oven for the toad in the hole, and had to start again. It's a school night for us. DH very nearly lost his temper.

Yeah, I admit. I am an anti-social arse.

KittensoftPuppydog · 22/12/2013 08:09

Yanbu. I used to live in a popular tourist resort. Would happily never have people to stay again.

youbethemummylion · 22/12/2013 08:23

I have house guests! This was my last weekend before Christmas to get stuff sorted clean the house for Santa coming and generally get my shit together as working until late Christmas Eve. But I haven't been able to do any of the things I was planning and rather than get the house super clean and tidy will have to spend hours when they have gone just to get it back how it was when they arrived! Their kids are 2 and 3 and nothing is now where I had left it, my upstairs contents are downstairs and my downstairs contents are upstairs the kitchen stuff is in the bathroom and the cat has disappeared!

lobsterkiller · 22/12/2013 09:13

I thought it was just me! I cannot stand people staying over it drives me bonkers.

However i do like the ceiling lights on.

MadeOfStarDust · 22/12/2013 09:24

I like people staying - I only invite those I like and get on with! Can be a pain if I get woken by nocturnal loo visits, but hey ho we all rub along and make the best of things....

I like a well lit LIVING room - (we don't have a "sitting" room ) - I read, do crafts etc - we don't just sit round chatting or twiddling our thumbs.

Sallycinnamum · 22/12/2013 09:35

I utterly loathe ceiling lights. My mother in law doesn't have any lamps and it just feels so un-cosy. It's like sitting in a department store with everyone looking in as she also doesn't shut the curtains.

Original poster
Downandspout · 22/12/2013 10:00

Ladies you have made me laugh... And not feel so alone in my bah humbug, anti social spirit! I know in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal but I just feel so resentful sometimes... Especially as my lovely cinnamon diptyque candles are useless now!! I told DH one more night of it and I'll sit with my sunglasses on! Honestly I walk in and it feels as if I'm going into bleeding surgery.... I managed to wean DH off the strong lighting but he regresses when his family are around and they all rejoice in the rather sophisticated (read over the top) ceiling lighting our rented apartment boasts!

On the plus this year we don't have the piss heads from my side so we will actually sit down to a fairly civilised lunch...

OP posts:
Rachelx92 · 22/12/2013 10:15

Did you invite them or did they invite themselves? If you invited them then yes I think YABU

Mrswellyboot · 22/12/2013 10:18

My mil doesn't have lamps, or sofas. Hard chairs ! But it is a lovely house to go to all the same.

FarelyKnuts · 22/12/2013 10:27

We have many and varied varieties of house guests descending upon us from tomorrow until Jan 4th. I am dreading it. All lovely people, they really are, but in my space, all the time, it drives me batty!!!
I am totally bah humbug on the issue of house guests