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AIBU?

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Original poster

Where do people get the money?

189 replies

MrsLouisTheroux · 21/12/2013 17:10

I understand that there are people (I thought the minority) who earn a zillion pounds and are very high earners but I just don't understand how so many people afford to eat out, shop, go to the cinema/theatre so often. The huge shopping centre near me is always literally packed with people doing just that. Not just at this time of year either.
The shops seem to be doing brilliantly but I don't know where the money comes from.
DH and I earn a good amount between us and we do nice stuff but can't afford to eat out, shop or go to the cinema more than a couple of times a month and we don't buy a lot when we do go shopping - certainly not for designer stuff.
I thought there was a recession?!
AIBU to wonder how people afford it?

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 21/12/2013 19:05

minifingers
2 people on not massive wages (say 35k each)
sorry ?
the median wage in the UK is £18k
people on 35k are richer than 80% of the country

Weller · 21/12/2013 19:09

I was still a teenager when I bought my first house for £37,000 by myself within 5 years I would of been priced out of the market, so I assume there are other 40 somethings in the same boat with little or no mortgage. I would have no disposable income if I had missed that small window of opportunity.

Original poster
MrsLouisTheroux · 21/12/2013 19:16

weller It was quite a small window of opportunity and I agree, lots of 40 somethings did well! I think it was good for about 5 years after the interest rates dropped and house prices were still low.
We missed out because we were idiots Grin

OP posts:
minifingers · 21/12/2013 21:12

I live in London. Most nurses and teachers I know here earn that sort of dosh. Nurses and teachers can't be considered RICH surely?

TalkinPeace · 21/12/2013 21:17

minifingers
Yes, of course. They are qualified professionals.
Think about what the cleaners and checkout staff and delivery drivers and catering staff earn .....
The National Minimum wage works out at £12k full time and many employees are part time or even on zero hours contracts.

HappyCliffmas · 21/12/2013 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny · 21/12/2013 21:25

I think some people have different priorities. People often say to me that I have loads of DVD's which I do but that's because years ago mine and DH's Friday night treat was a trip to the cinema (when tickets were £3.20 each and sweets/drinks were bought in woolworths and smuggled in). 4 DC's later our Friday night treat is a cheap DVD from Tesco. That works out as a lot of DVD's! We're almost teetotal so save money that way too.

DoItTooBabyJesus · 21/12/2013 21:34

I think mini fingers is answering the OP and knows that 35 k is a decent amount, but it's not banker style hugeness is her point.

I think.

Mind boggling spreadsheets TalkinPeace.

Slh122 · 21/12/2013 21:36

We go to the cinema once or twice a week. we have cineworld unlimited cards that cost £15 a month each - so £30 for the two of us, to see however many films we like, whenever we want. It also gives us 25% off restaurants like Nandos, Frankies and Benny's etc so we eat out once or twice a month.
However, We do all our food shopping at Lidl/Aldi/Asda and meal plan. We buy in bulk from Costco so don't have to buy things monthly. We have Sky TV, Netflix, laptops etc but very rarely buy new clothes/shoes.
We only have 1 car (I don't drive) and I walk everywhere/take public transport. DP has his own business that he's trying to get going in addition to his full time job so we use the spare money from that to cover our treats/extras and put all the spare money from our wages into a savings account to save up for a mortgage. We live in a small flat so relatively low rent/bills at the minute.

maleview70 · 21/12/2013 21:50

Most of my friends in the North bought their houses 20 years ago for £30k so cheap mortgage or paid off. They all bring in a minimum of £2500 a month net so lots of spare income.

Takingbackmonday · 21/12/2013 22:10

To put in perspective, my new, early days DP organised for a couples massage this week at a v nice London place. £400. I think is mental but to him pocket change

Robfordscrack · 21/12/2013 22:26

good grief - a mortgage of 30k - it would be hard to imagine.( I have only ever lived in really expensive cities). There will always be people with more money than you, and at the same time there will also be a lot of people living month to month and maxing their credit cards.

TalkinPeace · 21/12/2013 22:28

Robfords
My mortgage interest is £129 a month - because I bought my first house for £30k as well
but having two teenage kids, disposable income is limited!

AnandaTimeIn · 21/12/2013 22:33

DH and I earn a good amount between us

Be thankful for your blessings.

Before you know it the shit could hit the fan.

Lose your job, DH having an affair, leaves you with X nr. of kids, no money. Lose your house.

Be happy!

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo · 21/12/2013 23:05

The thing is, presumably it's not always the same people you are seeing, so it's not a small group of locals that address all going out all the time, but more likely people from all over three places that are maybe only doing things 2 or three times a year.

Agree with other posters that it's all a car of differing priorities too.

I live on the south coast and go to London half a dozen times a year or so to visit art exhibitions, meet friends for lunch or take DD to a show.

I don't go on evenings out locally, most of my clothes come from charity shops and I cut and color my own hair! I plan my trips around when I have overtime pay or clubcard vouchers to use and try & double up as much as possible so if I've arranged a lunch date, I'll go early and fit in an exhibition first.

I know people who prefer to go out locally a couple of times a week, have their hair done at a town Centre salon every couple of months and buy designer handbags and flash trainers for their kids every five minutes.

That's their thing, my days out are mine. I am certainly not blessed with vast amounts of disposable income unfortunately!

34DD · 21/12/2013 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

34DD · 21/12/2013 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostdomain · 21/12/2013 23:58

34DD - who does he pay only £15 per week rent to? Is it you? It's brilliant that he has jobs and earns but if he thinks rent and food etc will come to £15 pw and the rest is for fun, he's not growing up as fast as he needs to. Can he be encouraged to pay his way more fairly and save a bit for a deposit on adult priced rental or mortgage?

OP - I was out recently with people I didn't know very well and they were all talking about how much they loved having nice things and how their credit cards were maxed out because of this. I thought they were mad.

We are very fortunate to be that 40-something generation that bought when house prices were low, so we have a tiny mortgage. But we don't earn much. We just are very choosy about where the money goes. I'd rather meal plan every week all year and never ever eat takeaways as that means we can afford theatre tickets and meals out several times a year.

But I have no idea how ordinary people can afford designer clothes. They don't appeal or impress me but it is puzzling how people can throw hundreds of pounds at a pair of shoes or a top.

frasierfanatic · 21/12/2013 23:58

I often wonder the same thing, OP....

My friend is a single mum; she works part time as a hairdresser and seems to have an unlimited amount of money.

She is always having weekends away, buying new clothes (from Topshop, River Island and Warehouse not Primark), holidays (has had 2 foreign holidays this year), and doing nice, but expensive, things with her kids.Not to mention having her nails done every week. This weekend she has taken them both away for the weekend and has posted on Facebook this afternoon that they've had a fantastic day shopping, watching a show, and having a meal in a pricey restaurant.

I'm pleased for her that she has and does nice things but I can't help but wonder where the money comes from. I know she rents her house and her rent is £900 per month, because she has told me. She doesn't exactly seem to skimp on food shopping either, and drives everywhere rather than walking.

I would love to know how she does it

Original poster
MrsLouisTheroux · 22/12/2013 06:40

frasier I know someone like that and I don't get it either!!
A bottomless purse. She does have a low mortgage though.
I also have friends with DCs who have very high overheads and hardly any disposable income. Their 3 DC have absolutely masses of toys, clothes, books all bought by Grandparents.

OP posts:
GinOnTwoWheels · 22/12/2013 08:28

frasier Your friend could be getting loads of tax credits and maybe housing benefit.

She may also get maintenance from the DCs father.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 22/12/2013 08:29

She's a hooker, frasier. It's the only answer.

MadeOfStarDust · 22/12/2013 08:38

I work behind the till in a shop - so people probably think I'm spending beyond my means... (it is a craft shop and I work there because I want to - not because I HAVE to - DH earns enough for us to live on)

but our mortgage is paid, we only need one car, it really bumps up the disposable income....

teacherandguideleader · 22/12/2013 08:42

I am a 'recovering' shopaholic. I now avoid shops as it doesn't take much to spend over £100 and I just don't have that spare.

I have a good salary. I earn double what my mum does - although once you deduct pension and student loan contributions we're probably fairly evenly matched. Her mortgage repayments are £150 per month. I used to pay £900 per month. We paid about the same for bills, council tax etc. She had £750 per month that she wasn't paying on her mortgage that I was. She spends the money on holidays and clothes - and why not (she is paying into a private pension as well). Her view is that she may as well enjoy what she has earned - if she doesn't have it, the government can't take it off her if she ever needs care.

LePetitPrince · 22/12/2013 08:51

There are many people who have worked hard since childhood - at school, university, in rubbish graduate jobs that slowly got better over time.. My uni course was so full-on, there was little time for partying. Many then reap the rewards in their forties when they can afford to spend a little on treats.

Of course, illness or bad luck can happen to anyone so it doesn't always follow.

The only place that makes me go Shock is Westfield in West London - people walking around with bags and bags of designer stuff before jumping into super-high end cars. I presume most of that is non dom territory.

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