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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU about Christmas, or is my dad? (I'm a teenager.)

37 replies

TheFestiveTeen · 20/12/2013 22:09

Hi everyone! Been talking to my dad about excitement for Christmas, and he says that he thinks we've gone OTT on presents this year and that we should be equally excited about our own (Hindu) festivals, but he feels like we aren't...

We don't celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ, just as a good time with all of the family and having fun. It means a lot to me because my parents work 7 days a week ad Christmas is usually the only day where they're both not working.

The presents IMHO aren't OTT, we just don't do stockings, so little things like pens are wrapped and under the tree! Xmas Grin

Also I should add that during Diwali we all went to the temple as a family, and I lit oil lamps every night and helped to clean the house as per tradition, so I'm definitely not neglecting my native culture either!

I shall explain my thoughts to him when I can trust myself not to snap... but MNetters what are your opinions on the matter?

To be honest this thread isn't much of a question, I just needed to vent with anonymity!

OP posts:
AngelaDaviesHair · 20/12/2013 22:21

Happy venting!

I see both sides, actually. He doesn't want you to lose touch with cultural things that are important to him. You just want to enjoy a family day and heck, Christmas is fun, presents are lovely.

So why not present it that way? Tell him it's the family together and exchanging presents aspect that appeals to you, remind him what you did for Diwali, have a hug, all good.

NewtRipley · 20/12/2013 22:24

I think you've explained yourself really well here. I agree he's probably motivated a bit by anxiety - parents often are, IME. What you've said here would reassure him, I think

NewtRipley · 20/12/2013 22:26

sorry "explained yourself" was not what I meant to say. "Expressed yourself" was more like it!

SinisterSal · 20/12/2013 22:27

That's a lovely sentiment, that you love spending a rare day with both your parents - I'm sure if you explain it like that he might get something in his eye and get a bit gruff. And stop going on about it, too Xmas Grin

Original poster
TheFestiveTeen · 20/12/2013 22:30

Thanks all, very reassuring!

OP posts:
HorsePetal · 20/12/2013 22:32

Just tell him what you've just told us. Reassure him that your cultural believes and customs are still really important to you but that you are looking forward to spending quality family time together xx

tanukiton · 20/12/2013 22:34

Umm second for Angela idea of adding in a bit of 'lets remember ' Did you take any pictures over Diwali that you can show him? Make your own 'christmas' traditions. If it is the 'christmas' that is grating on him just say happy holidays to keep the peace.

MrsWembley · 20/12/2013 23:08

Wow, Festive, if my two are as lucid and sound as mature as you when they are in their teens, I will consider myself lucky! Yes, to the suggestions about having a chat with your dad about what you've said here. Yes, to the suggestions about going over photos you might have taken during Diwali. Yes, to telling him about treasuring time together as a family (and you could also mention being proud of them and the example they set, what with how hard they work and allGrin).

Good luck!

MNHQ
JulieJingleBellsMumsnet · 21/12/2013 10:46

Morning.

Many thanks to those who have pointed us in the direction of this thread. As mumsnet isn't a site for teenagers we're going to be deleting this thread shortly.

MNHQ

Snargaluff · 21/12/2013 10:48

She could be 17/18? She doesn't sound 13

AlpacaPicnic · 21/12/2013 10:49

What about teenage mothers? Is this site not for them also?

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 21/12/2013 10:50

Why on earth would you delete it?

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 21/12/2013 10:52

Not sure why this thread should be deleted. It isn't exactly contentious. I am presuming that the OP is in her late teens, and we have had posters in their teens on the boards before.

Dawndonnaagain · 21/12/2013 10:53

Perhaps Jews and Muslims are finally catching up with Hindus. With no single canonical text, they've long had an all-embracing approach to the customs of other faiths. There will be tinsel trees in British Hindu homes, just like the Santa decorations I saw all over Delhi a fortnight ago. Amit Chaudhuri's evocative memoir of Calcutta describes Christmas there as "the loveliest in the world. Warm, convivial, unfolding in smoky weather, it had the vivacity of a transplanted custom that had flowered spontaneously, but still retained the air of an outing, of an encounter with the strange."
From this article in today's Guardian.

drbonnieblossman · 21/12/2013 10:54

that's a shame, as its quite an interesting subject - there must be many more people who are in this kind of situation. it's not as though the OP has posted anything offensive or inflammatory.

Wilding · 21/12/2013 10:55

Erm - why? I've read loads of threads from teens here before - and as Snargaluff pointed out, if you're a teenager you could well be a mum yourself. I can understand if it was a 12 year old or something but the OP sounds a lot older than that.

Icelollycraving · 21/12/2013 10:56

Why on earth would it be deleted? Most odd. Teenagers have posted before plenty of times to ask advice about parents. Is it not a real teenager? Is it because it's a cultural issue?

DelGirl · 21/12/2013 10:57

Journo!!

ilovesmurfs · 21/12/2013 10:57

i dont see why this thread should be deleted.

the op is asking for advice and the thread isnt goady or likely to kick off etc.

its a good subject for discussion.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 21/12/2013 10:58

There are many parents on here who happen to be teenagers.

There are many people on here who are not parents.

Are you saying that if you are under 20 you can only post here if you are a parent?

Or is it that you doubt the op is genuine but lack the required level of proof?

drbonnieblossman · 21/12/2013 10:58

wanted to also add, that Christmas is what you want it to be. for many (not sure about majority) it's the religious aspect. for others it's a time to relax. be indulgent, be with loved ones, take stock, bury the hatchet.

drbonnieblossman · 21/12/2013 10:58

wanted to also add, that Christmas is what you want it to be. for many (not sure about majority) it's the religious aspect. for others it's a time to relax. be indulgent, be with loved ones, take stock, bury the hatchet.

DeckTheHallsWithBonesAndSkully · 21/12/2013 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandallFloyd · 21/12/2013 10:59

It think it's a nice polite code for 'we are deleting, never you mind why' Wink

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 21/12/2013 11:02

Quite. You can post if you are a teen motherbut not just a teen but you can post regardless your parental status if you are over 20?

I think it should be based on content of the post and not age.

If we're talking about content the op is more articulate than some of the text speaking lolhunz that have rocked up lately.