To ask for your help in working this out? Does my DD have ADD?

[Wheatandcasein]

I have been concerned since DD was about 1.5 years old as she had a speech delay. Nothing significant but it took her far longer to say words and then utter complete sentences. It was as though she was worried about saying something wrong so she just didn't attempt it.

Around this time we also introduced cows milk instead of formula and she began to complain of stomach aches 3-4 times a week, and also developed motion sickness in the car - as in it happened every single car journey.

Fast forward ages 2-4 she was right on track and very sociable with lots of friends. I knew she was sensitive but she hid it well at nursery and appeared outgoing with lots of confidence.

For the last term of Reception she seemed to become very sensitive at school, frequently bursting into tears and needing lots of hugs from her teacher. This had something to do with her best friend deciding she didn't want to be friends with her anymore but I also think DD was becoming self aware of some of the following things: -

DD falls over at least once a day, trips over her own feet. She doesn't look where she is going and needs to hop/skip/run/dance everywhere. Cannot just walk.

She is very forgetful, will frequently forget where she has put things a few seconds beforehand. Will read a word in her book and forget it on the next page.

Consistently writes many of her numbers back to front, still confuses d and b.

Is very, very messy! Never tidies up - I don't think this comes from not being shown as her siblings are quite tidy.

Takes quite a long time to pick up new things, for example, reading, swimming, potty training took a very long time to take too. It seems to take her far longer than the rest of the group.

Does not pay attention, for example during breakfast I could ask her to eat with her cutlery not fingers literally 20 times. She forgets within seconds.

Sings and makes funny noises rather a lot. Even when it's not appropriate, for example when everyone else is being quiet and eating lunch.

Likes to copy what her friends do, their favourite colours, music etc. She does not know what SHE likes herself, but takes on others views.

Does odd things like eating paper and is always putting groups of random objects into different bags and boxes.

Is very very easily distracted. Always wants what she sees other people have ...

She is 5.5 and I know much of this is normal behaviour, but I can't help but worry. Her teachers say she is a quiet sensitive soul at school, and a little behind in reading and maths. They also say she is easily distracted and does not pay attention. At the beginning of last year, not one of her teachers would have said she was sensitive or quiet.

I just feel as though my confident fun loving little girl is struggling, and I worry about her at school so much. She is falling behind her peer group, and she is aware that she's at a lower level and I think it knocks her confidence.

How can I help her? Could it be mild ADD? Could it be that gluten or casein in dairy is giving her the stomach aches (she still frequently says she has them), and this is contributing to ADD behaviours?

I would love to hear from anyone that can offer advice or has experiences similar concerns, thank you.

I'm not an expert (currently struggling with DS1 and his issues) but have you looked at dyspraxia?

absolutely you need to take your concerns to the GP and ask for a referral to a paed

in the meantime - hearing check done recently? ditto eyetest?

have a think about whether Dyspraxia might be involved (it can present quite confusingly) This website is great Dyspraxia Foundation Please note this is just a suggestion based on your OP, no expertise other than a fellow parent

Yes briefly but I'm really confused about a lot of these disorders/learning difficulties. I am going to read up again now.

Another thing I just remembered is that DD is always complaining that clothes are itchy, she is very sensitive to the fabrics she wears.

I know what you mean, it is confusing and many of them seem to overlap.

Definitely follow DeepThought's advice about the GP.

You have a concern. Ask your GP for a referral and get the ball rolling. If it turns out it's nothing then there is no harm done. Ds's 1 & 3 have ADHD.

They do seem to overlap I agree.

We had a very thorough eye test, she was absolutely fine.

Hearing we haven't done.

Reading about Dyspraxia, yes, it could be? DD does love music, singing, drama and sport and art. She does enjoy writing and maths but I think she tries to do more of them at home to try and get to the same level as her friends. Makes me so sad, she really has to try harder than others.

I am a little fearful about going to the GP and having her 'labelled'. Maybe I'm just wishing she will grow out of it. It is definitely affecting her self esteem though and coupled with her best friend saying nasty things every other day, DD is having a really hard time.

Jinty, what was the process with the GP and how long did it all take if you don't mind me asking.

What help have you been offered, mess, strategies to help them, did you change their diets?

Sorry meds not mess.

Thank you for the website link deep thought. DD also has limited sense of danger - we have always said she is fearless. She loves being swung around, rough and tumble, being upside down.

I second (third? fourth?) Dyspraxia although she is sociable and her speech is good now I wonder about a speech and language referral too.

Hi OP, you should try posting this on the SN board. They're very helpful.

This actually sounds a bit like she might be on the AS spectrum; it manifests differently in girls. The thing about her clothes being itchy, and loving being swung round and other very physical things could indicate Sensory Processing Disorder (where the sufferer has issues with some forms of normal stimuli being too intense and yet craves other forms of stimuli which others would find too intense). SPD is also usually linked to ASD.

Things could be diet-based, but they could equally be neurological, genetic, or whatever. OR she might not have any specific 'problem', this might just be her and she'll grow out of these things, they will lessen, or they won't.

I have wondered for a long time whether DD (9.5) has some ADD traits. She had GDD and has caught up in most areas, but speech and large motor skills still immature.

She is very easily distracted, both at home and at school. Finds it quite hard to complete tasks. Forgetful and very untidy, despite us implementing every strategy we can think of to help with these. Transient tics, especially throat clearing. All fairly common traits.

However, the thing that made me comment on this thread is that she does the thing the OP describes of putting random collections of objects into bags or boxes. So I'll open up a small box or bag (of which she has many) and find one worn sock, some Lego, some stickers, a Moshling, a pencil sharpener, some hairbands and the list of spellings she was supposed to have learned three weeks ago. Sometimes there will also be a purse, with lots of random smaller objects inside that.

She gets frustrated when she can't find things, but we have provided (labelled) storage for all of these types of things. There is a place for everything and I regularly help her to sort out her belongings, showing her how to put things back into their correct places.

Second the recommendation to post on SN children. Dyspraxia was my first thought, as a mum to a DS with ASD who is also very dyspraxic. The sensory issues are also commonly co-morbid with (happen alongside) ASD or Dyspraxia, as are speech delay, lack of danger sense, social skills difficulties and disorganisation. She sounds like she could have hypersensitivity to touch and hyposensitivity (under sensitive) to motion. These issues can affect DC of any intelligence. GFCF diets are often helpful (and recommended by medical professionals under the guidance of a dietician not a 'nutritionist' for DC with spectrum type issues.

Personally I prefer a correct DX to an incorrect label of lazy, clumsy etc.

another thing to consider maybe a chromosomal problem - my cousin has a dd with a very rare one which produces similar symptoms/behaviour.afaik cousins dd gets extra help at school but otherwise no further treatment.

Worth checking if she has any nutrient deficiencies too, eating paper is something I did as a child, also ate dirt! Apparently can be a sign of iron deficiency. Nothing was done for me at the time but as an adult I have been diagnosed with coeliac disease (gluten intolerant). It is called 'pica' where someone eats non food stuff.

chromosonal

Thank you, I have posted in SN too.

Threebee, yes, that's exactly what DD does. And she also can never find anything despite me regularly sorting groups of related toys into her 6 toy containers. As a result she never really plays with any of her toys because she can't find all the pieces. DD also spends a lot of time putting clothes in in funny ways, like wearing a skirt as a cape and a ribbon tied around her foot. Or socks on her hands ...

Thank you ellenjanes for that info.

Any bags, we did have an assessment privately recently and they said she had some sensory modulation issues but the language used in the report was so Latin to me that I've struggled to understand what any of it means. I am following up with a meeting to get a better understanding in January.

I have just gone out and bought multi vits and a good omega 3 and 6. We do eat well and lots of fruit and veg every day. Little sugar etc.

Chromosomal disorder - I will look into that too, thanks.

I wish I had tried to look further into this before now but I feel so overwhelmed by it :(

Get it looked at sooner rather than later. DS1 was only diagnosed with ASD this year aged 14 and has missed on so much help. He displayed many of the traits you describe.

Drcoconut did you try and have him assessed before hand, were you just unsure if there was something going on, or were you brushed off by GP?

To everyone else DD seems like a perfectly normal little girl. No one really sees everything I see. I feel awful for almost trying to press the issue with a professional - at the clinic I went to they said that generally she's as fine and these were very mild behaviours. Which is good obviously, but on the other hand I want to be given the advice and tools I need to help her.

What help/ support have you been given?

She sounds like a mix of DS1 (Aspergers - very sensitive, distracted, pica) and DS2 (High functioning autism - he is very clumsy). When DS1 was dx-ed they thought he might have ADD too but decided that actually it was a side effect of his AS.
Definitely worth talking to the GP/CAMHS. Having a label hasn't held either of my boys back, lots of people don't know they have a dx. But it does help me understand their behaviour and the school know when they need to give extra support. They won't label if there is nothing to label.

I'm feeling very guilty right now for telling her to look where she's going and sometimes even shouting at her because it seems like she's just careless so much of the time. I must have knocked her confidence so much. She sometimes even calls herself clumsy now, and the other day said to me, Mummy I wish I wasn't so clumsy all the time.

As for school , she is currently in a private school so I don't think we will get much support there. We didn't get offered a state school place, still on waiting lists despite now being in year 1 but that's another story.

Wheatandcasein your DD sounds very similar to my DD2.

She is also 5.4 and everything from the stomach aches (though she hasn't said it much in the last couple of weeks) to getting her numbers the wrong way around constantly. She has the attention span of a gold fish, in her school play she literally could not stand still! She makes stupid noises especially when she is cross. Still has huge meltdowns, though better than they were. Really annoys people on purpose, she does this to her 2 sisters and her teacher said she is the same with friends. She actually had somebody in tears at her birthday party! She won't sit up straight when I am trying to get her to read her school book, she slouches and doesn't seem to be trying at all. I am pretty sure is behind where she should be with everything except creative stuff which at the end of YR she was advanced.

I have spoken to the parent support worker at school and she has recommended getting her hearing and eyes tested which I have booked. Her teacher thinks that it is just her age and everything will click in its on time. I do worry as she is still on Red band reading and has to sound out most words still. She just doesn't seem to be progressing!

My DD1 is also being seen by CAMHS as her learning mentor at primary (she is now Y7) has mentioned learning difficulties in the past. Some of the things you have mentioned do sound similar to her as well. Things seem to have ground to a halt with that at the moment as it is a long process!

Sorry this isn't much help but you are not alone with these issues. Have you spoken to the school about your worries? My DDs school is really good and supportive.