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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not given the teacher a Christmas present?

48 replies

Dollslikeyouandme · 20/12/2013 18:22

Is it the done thing to give the teacher a present at Christmas?

I really, really like ds teacher, she does a fantastic job, but I didn't think that she'd want 30 tins of biscuits.

Ds now wants to give her our biscuits as some of the other children did. He said I'm not being very nice because I said that they were ours!

Feel a bit bad, perhaps I should have acknowledged her at Christmas.

Ds did make her a card.

OP posts:
SatinSandals · 20/12/2013 18:25

A card is fine and homemade the best.

Original poster
Dollslikeyouandme · 20/12/2013 18:29

I say he made a card it was literally a piece of folded card with a drawing on the front and a message inside, it's about as far as my craft skills stretch.

OP posts:
EndoplasmicReticulum · 20/12/2013 18:31

Homemade cards are lovely. Teacher did not need any more biscuits. I've kept all the cards that children have sent me, the biscuits are long-eaten.

LaundryLegoLunch · 20/12/2013 18:31

I did give ds2's teacher and TA presents (tins of biscuits Grin) but its because they have totally transformed him from uninterested to motivated.

Ds1's teacher however has been off sick for almost a month and before that was not really doing anything to inspire ds1 or me. The fact that she's still sick today made the decision not to buy her anything easy.

ilovesooty · 20/12/2013 18:33

Card is fine. If you and your son thanked her for her work that's present enough.

SantanaLopez · 20/12/2013 18:33

It is the done thing tbh.

tinselkitty · 20/12/2013 18:40

As a teacher I don't expect any gifts. In fact I have no idea what I'm going to do with the 3 boxes of chocolates I was kindly given.

Best present this year was delicious home made mint fudge that I had to scoff in class as it was melting!

mrsravelstein · 20/12/2013 18:43

i rarely give xmas presents to teachers - when ds1 was in year 1 his teacher always had cold hands when she was on playground duty so he chose her some gloves, which she phoned me to say thanks for and was clearly pleased with. and i did the odd bottle of wine for teaching assistants who went out of their way to help ds1 when he was struggling.

sometimes i do end of year presents/cards for teachers who have been especially nice. other than that, i think it's a bit of a competitive mum thing, ime.

HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 18:46

I loved getting presents as a teacher. Any presents!

It's sweet. However there's no way of course you'd expect them from all the children. It used to make me well up when some of the less privileged kids would shyly hand me a card they'd just made in the corner of the classroom on the last day, when they're all playing games.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 20/12/2013 18:53

Well, I have 3 dc, which is three teachers and assorted people in class when they're younger.

Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't. It depends on my finances, the time I have to spare and also on whether I think the teacher has honestly made much of an effort with my dc (because we've had some stinkers in the past at the old school!).

This week I've sent in a mini box of Roses for DD's Family Tutor (he's been fantastic with her settling in at secondary and DD adores him) and some cakes for the staff in both DS's classes. Nothing expensive or fancy, just some Mr Kiplings, so they could have a cake with tea or coffee at break/lunch if they wanted (because I'm sure they had no cake around at this time of year Blush).

My Mum is an ex teacher and some of the stuff she used to come home with was just wonderful - a Perry Como CD one year, a plastic cowboy on a plastic horse another year!

Topseyt · 20/12/2013 19:00

I felt a certain amount of obligation to send something in when my kids were in primary school, though mostly in the infants. When they got into the juniors it tailed off a fair bit, and now that they are at secondary school it doesn't happen at all.

When I did send something in it was just chocolate or maltesers. I never spent much. Just a token.

complexnumber · 20/12/2013 19:02

A bottle of expensive gin sent from Harrods will avoid any embarassment

MissPricklePants · 20/12/2013 19:07

I didn't but I am not very happy with dd's teacher. dd made her a card and also took in sweets to share with the children (and teacher and ta too).

Original poster
Dollslikeyouandme · 20/12/2013 19:17

I feel bad because she really is lovely and I'm so happy with ds progress.

Perhaps I'll send her an Easter egg at Easter and a thank you note.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 20/12/2013 19:18

I buy presents but usually not chocolates as I figure they get enough...I spend less than a tenner though.

educatingarti · 20/12/2013 19:24

The very best thing you can do, I think is write her a card (at Easter or at end of year) and spell out what she has done to help DS rather than just a generic thank you. These are the cards I cherish - for example when a ( secondary) student writes "you have believed in me" or a parent comments on exactly how I have made a difference to their dc.

hellowonderful · 20/12/2013 19:29

I gave a card but no present. As much as I would have loved too just couldn't afford even a small gift this year, sadly.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 20/12/2013 19:44

I only give a card at Christmas, I give thank you gifts at the end of the school year, but only for teachers that I feel have really helped the children.

silverbaubles · 20/12/2013 19:47

I only gave a card this year. Teacher is rather hopeless so decided not to give her a gift. Doubt will give her end of year gift either.

koTinkaBell · 20/12/2013 19:48

I gave presents at the end of year but not Christmas, I just have too many other things to pay for at this time of year. I hope they don't take offense.

WreckTangle · 20/12/2013 19:49

I only gave a card too. Dd's teacher is off sick so she's had supply teachers for the past 2 weeks. I really wanted to give ds2 teacher a lovely gift as she's just bloody brilliant but due to being totally unorganised I forgot.

CSIJanner · 20/12/2013 19:52

I gave DC's teacher (reception) a big bottle of Baylis and Harding bubble bath, with a written card from DC wishing a restful Christmas. Am new at this - should it have been edibles?

TwllBach · 20/12/2013 19:54

The things that made me emotional this year were cards that had messages in them

although I have just scoffed two boxes of chocolates that I also got

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 20/12/2013 19:54

At DS's school the classroom reps do a collection and buy vouchers. There's no obligation to donate either. I think this is a reasonable solution.
I plan to give personal thanks in a card at the end of the school year.

superzero · 20/12/2013 19:56

I gave a token present.Biscuits to be shared.It certainly wasn't the norm in the classroom but I thought the staff would like it.
Everyone in the class got a small present from the teacher which was unexpected but very thoughtful.