To think some MNers love to armchair diagnose?

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

This is a fred about lots of freds.

I've been on plenty of forums but never found one where people love to diagnose quite as much as they do on here!

Random diagnoses pop up on threads where it is not asked for and usually not welcome or even relevant. Sometimes, the armchair diagnosis is just a poorly understood stereotype of the condition/illness.

If a person posts saying they are down and feel resentful their baby, it's one thing to say; "I felt like that, went to the GP and got support for PND, maybe it's something you could explore with your GP?" and quite another to respond to a post asking "my husband hits me, how do I leave him?" with "he sounds like he has a narcissistic personality".

Just to clarify, I am not against supporting and encouraging people to get a professional diagnosis but I do hate the pointless armchair pontificating.

Yanbu at all. It annoys the crap out of me.

YANBU

YANBU

I know the thread you are talking about. Firstly like any illness it must be extremely challenging suffering from an ongoing mh issue, I had depression many moons ago that I was delighted to eventually see the back of. The reality is though that there is no family I have come across ever that is not affected by mh issues. I think that is important to recognise that mh issues extend beyond the sufferer to those who love them. On the armchair diagnosis, in my close family experience a member with clearly evident mental health issues armchair diagnosis can be as far as it ever gets. Some people are unwilling for what ever reason to engage in mental health services and their actions can cause an awful lot of heartbreak around them.

Mental health issues are complex and on the other thread someone mentioned how we need more understanding and I could not agree more.

YANBU.

For one, it can sometimes actually be insulting if you have the (e.g) mental illness and it isn't related or isn't a sign of the mental illness on its own, but a stereotype (as I've seen before, and I felt pretty hurt by it tbh and what they assume of my condition). As well as this, many of those posts follow a description of something which could point to a health concern but ONLY with others, and on its own, could be anything. It would be appropriate to ask 'have you felt/done x, y or z?' to see if it is a thing on its own or a symptom of a wider problem, but I think sometimes it can be easy to jump to conclusions.

I agree with you SN is diagnosed in one sentence on here where as it can take phsycoligists and teachers and drs years, . it drives me nuts

I hate the way people "diagnose" emotional abuse based on a single post from an OP. How the fuck can you get a clear idea of the dynamic of someone's relationship based on a brief description by one person?

neun Oh, I am certainly not denying that as humans, we do not live in isolation, so if something happens to us, it happens to everyone. I also know the frustration of knowing someone is clearly is need of help (my little sister's Anorexia Nervosa went undiagnosed for ages) but unwilling to engage in any type of support.

I think that suggesting someone requires help for their behaviour is fine, attaching a random label to them seems pretty pointless and unhelpful IMO. Saying to my sister that she was clearly anorexic was not helpful to her but encouraging her to see that she was unhappy and wanted change was a more productive way for her to cope.

Well I think YABU. People are just trying to be helpful. From your post it sounds like you have difficulty empathising with others. Do you think you might have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder?

Candy our situation is similar but tbh definitely directly affects the rest of the family more than your situation, turns off heating in ice cold winter while vulnerable other person is in the house is one of many examples, some are far more extreme. I would see what you did with your sister as armchair diagnosis and we do the same. It helps people make allowances though tbh I think they would do him a bigger favour getting help but for 2 things 1) I don't believe he would accept it and 2) I know here it would it be taken seriously not UK and there are other background factors I will not go into.

Is it helpful, though, Captain?

I am not sure that just labelling a person - on scanty information - is at all helpful. It doesn't give any practical help or advice - and moreover if action is taken based on a misapplied label then that might cause no end of damage.

Although I do accept that people offer these diagnoses from a desire to be helpful, I don't think they really are very helpful.

I was making a joke.

captainSinker

I hate the expression ' I am a little bit OCD' when the poster is just stealth boasting about how clean their house is.

But aren't you diagnosing the diagnosers ? (Diagnosis Syndrome IYSWIM)

People post their experiences and opinions.

It is what it is.

A lot of MN posts are remarkably detailled and it isn't surprising that quite a few people in making sense of the available evidence:

a) end up assuming the OP has provided virtually all the available info
b) make overgeneralisations in order to reduce the complexity to a level they are comfortable with
c) and project

Imperfect of course.
But it's what a lot of people do, and do inaccurately.

Captain - ahem. Can I self diagnose Aspergers syndrome and use it to excuse my taking everything very literally?

Thanks Bodypopper - was thinking I had lost my touch..

Yes Oakmaiden, let's start a thread and see what spurious diagnoses we can come up with!

it isnt any sort of diagnosis. Its an internet opinion. This would be a much less interesting board if people didnt give their opinions and thoughts on things. It can get a bit heated in the relationships area, obviously which is a bit annoying because youre doing your armchair diagnosis based on someones one sided version of behaviour, which is dodgy ground, especai;lly if that person is then going to use that as ammunition, but thems the breaks. Its the other side of the coin to having all this wonderful wealth of experience and knowledge of the general public.

It certainly isnt a diagnosis though.

OP: if you don't like MN, then I suggest you go back to the sites that don't do what you perceive as a problem.

To come here to complain and mock, well, "did you men to be so rude"?

"I think that suggesting someone requires help for their behaviour is fine, attaching a random label to them seems pretty pointless and unhelpful"

This needs to be pointed out on the thread when it is happening.

Not whined about in isolation.

I think it is ok as long as you say it in a way that suggests, while the way someone described a behaviour that is unusual on their post it is a possible symptom of a condition, but this is just a possibility. Then the poster can read up on the condition and see what they think, then they would still have to consult an expert for a real diagnosis. I do think it is useful for people to suggest these things, as long as the op takes it as a possibility and then goes on to consult an expert.

I'm a graduate from the House/Holby/ER school of medicine and often make a diagnosis.
I never post them though, as my qualifications aren't real.

Isn't the whole reason people post on mumsnet to get an array of opinions and advice? This will always be based on people's own experiences, it not necessarily armchair diagnosing

YANBU also irritates me when people (particularly on this board, not saying the majority!) are determined to see the worst in everyone! 'AIBU to donate money to charity?' 'YABU and smug about the fact that you have money to give away.' Okay, never actually seen that one but less ridiculous versions, perhaps.

scaevola Wow, who pissed on your chips?! I love MN but there are a few aspects that irritate me, hey I'm on human. I guess you must be perfect and love everything about this place! I do challenge what I see on the threads but I don't want to derail totally and I'm just passing comment, like people do on forums.

*only human