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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder where job centre expect kids to go?

124 replies

flummoxedbanana · 20/12/2013 13:50

My sisters husband left last year when their son was a newborn. Shes in the final year of her degree and her son was one a few weeks ago. Shes currently on income support and has been accepted on a graduate teacher programme commencing in September. She received a letter from the job centre informing her she must attend a lone parent information session in January which is a group activity and will last at least two hours. The letter states she can receive help with childcare costs but obviously most nurseries won't take children for a few hours as a one off because they recognise, quite rightly, that they're likely to be upset and unsettled. Her son has never been away from her so even if she could find a nursery to take him she'd have to sit listening to pointless information while he's distraught. I live several hours away otherwise I'd help out. AIBU to wonder where the job centre expect kids to go?

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 20/12/2013 15:50

WooWoo, in 9 months she'll be able to make a much greater and lasting economic contribution than if she got a NMW job now and gave up the other (while still claiming in-work benefits at a much higher rate).

Your statements aren't just arrogant and irritating, they're economically illiterate.

They're also ignoring the fact that, as the parent of a one year old, she's presumably been studying for much longer than she's been a parent, for the purposes of improving her prospects. She had support, her partner left when she had a newborn, she persevered, got a job lined up where she has the potential to make an economic contribution as well as doing one of those important jobs for the future economy.

GinAndIt · 20/12/2013 15:56

I claimed benefits for a short time between finishing my midwifery training and starting a job as a midwife. I couldn't start earlier because my PIN and CRB took ages to come through and I couldn't work (as a midwife) without both of them. And no one was the slightest bit interested in taking me on in any other job knowing full well I would be jacking it in as soon as my registration came through.

Several of my university cohort were in the same boat. But I guess we should've just planned our lives better, hey?

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 16:01

You should have jacked it all in for a minimum wage job with no future, gin, didnt you know?!

GinAndIt · 20/12/2013 16:04

Well, exactly canthey!

funnily enough I have still ended up wiping a few arses, though

Karoleann · 20/12/2013 16:08

Some nannies are OSFTED registered, its worth her calling an agency and getting a quote for a temp OFSTED registered nanny for the few hours of the course.
Often the budgets for this type of thing are quite high and it would save having to unsettle your nephew too much, as he'll still be in his home environment.
I think it does seem rather pointless too - but I think your sister will just have to show willing.

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 16:09

Lol i do that for a living but it does have future prospects Grin

complexnumber · 20/12/2013 16:12

She's ... been accepted on a graduate teacher programme commencing in September

Good for her. She's doing her best to start a career and her efforts should be recognised.

SeaSickSal · 20/12/2013 16:13

So why is it okay for other students to have to end up in a pile of debt to finance their studies? I am doing an OU degree, I have a 20 month old son and work 20 hours a week. I am on track to get a first hopefully.

I started doing my degree full time at a red brick uni and had to transfer to OU when I got pregnant.

I support myself, I support my child. I have had to cut my cloth to fit. I have done shitty part-time jobs and short term contracts. I think it's really unfair that other people have to finance their own studies while some work the system.

Sorry all the people saying 'Oh but you're entitled it will give you a better life' - I'm not begrudging her a better life. But I am in almost EXACTLY the same situation and I am only getting help with childcare.

GinAndIt · 20/12/2013 16:20

I don't think it is ok that students have to end up in a pile of debt. I don't think anyone thinks that's ok, actually. It sucks.

I don't see how she's 'working the system' though. The system is what it is. She not being dishonest or defrauding anyone.

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/12/2013 16:22

If she can't go due to lack of childcare it's no biggie. Just ring up and say so. And FWIW we have no problem with parents bringing in their kids to WFIs, it brightens the place up.

ilovemountains · 20/12/2013 16:24

If possible she needs to build up a local group of friends before September who will help out with childcare in emergencies, as she will need it if she has no family nearby who can/will help. Ideally she'd start asking around now - then she would potentially have a solution to the interview childcare as well.

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/12/2013 16:32

Having no childcare is a legitimate reason for not going to that particular group session. Just phone up and ask for a 121 and take baby along. Be prepared for the adviser to go all gooey and the rest of the staff to come over to admire your child though. Grin

Darkesteyes · 20/12/2013 17:13

WooWoo if you are so worried about the NHS surely it must have occured to you that ppl being unable to buy food due to benefit cock ups and sanctions and food banks only being able to supply food for 3 days and ppl only being able to to access a food bank 3 times will lead to ppl being admitted to an NHS hospital with malnitrition etc! Stretching those NHS resources!!!!!
So if worrying about the NHS was/is the real reason behind your posts then this would have occured to you.
So the reason you have just given for your benefit bashing has fallen at the first hurdle.

prettypleasewithsugarontop · 20/12/2013 17:47

We have several nurseries in a semi-rural area who can take children on in extreme/emergency circumstances and circumstances like this one.

If she is going to be starting work in September, it may be a good idea to get him started in a care setting (nursery/cm) beforehand, even if it's just a morning a week or she may find the clingyness gets worse come September (I have gone through this myself).

The issue with the job centre is that she doesn't have a job now and they won't really care that she possibly has one lined up 10mths from now.

Here they would pay for the whole session at the nursery.

JohnnyUtah · 20/12/2013 18:00

She wont be sanctioned for taking the toddler, she might for not turning up. So she takes the toddler. But really, he's been with her 24/7 for 13 months? How has she had a hair cut ir a smear test? A night out even?

Darkesteyes · 20/12/2013 18:03

A hair cut or a smear test doesnt take 2 or more hours.
Nights out dont often happen during work hours (unless you work nights) so in that case the babys father would be available to parent.

GobbySadcase · 20/12/2013 18:10

WooWoo can stick it up its arse. Then it might really woo!

It's a one trick astroturfer.

SeaSickSal · 20/12/2013 18:36

I would like it if no student had to pay for their education and all students got grants. But the OP had effectively found a loophole which allows her to accrue no debt except the tuition fees.

To be honest I've sat down and thought about it and normally I wouldn't begrudge it. But how fucking entitled can you be to complain about having to give up a couple of hours in return for all your rent and council tax paid plus fairly generous benefits.

I don't particularly want to leave my baby with a childminder either. Sorry if I'm not coming out with the required sympathy but the OP and her sister are ridiculous refusing to recognize that she should make a minimal effort to show wiling.

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 18:48

Who said she was complaining about having to give up a couple of hours? She will be contributing soon enough ffs. This is what the system is for!!

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 18:50

You are only getting help for childcare? Why should I have to pay tax to subsidise your 20month olds care?

ivykaty44 · 20/12/2013 19:43

no the system is not to get an education it is short term help between jobs. why can't the op's sister work part time and do a degree?

Why can't the op help her sister out with babysitting for two hours or another family member help?

Great that the op's sister wants to get a degree and get a better job but nothing to stop her working and placing her dc in childcare like a lot of others have to do

Letzygonsbezygons · 20/12/2013 19:50

im a 24/7 carer for DC so whenever Ive had to go to the JS (ONLY to reiterate the same chant-#yes me and DC STILL disabled, yes, lifelong (but that's another story!)) Ive HAD to take her with me, they've never said I cant, so she should take her child with her, that's the whole point isnt it?

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 19:51

I meant the system is for helping people in their need. If the ops sister was working minimum wage she would need help with childcare and probably a tax credit top up so either way would have to claim something, its hardly the same as a druggie scrounger with 15 kids being "entitled" to a 7 bedroom council house and being ungrateful, whinging that £500 a week is not enough to live on!!

FudgefaceMcZ · 20/12/2013 20:05

Actually, Woofuckingmoronowl, she'll cost the 'taxpayer' more in tax credits to cover childcare once she's working. I know because I got tax credits for that, and it's a fucking massive amount more than income support which is a pathetic pittance that the taxpayer should be grateful to 'give' to single parents who save them vast costs in childcare by caring for their children so well. I hope you lose your job and get left with a newborn by your partner so you learn some fucking empathy.

GobbySadcase · 20/12/2013 20:08

Hear hear fudgeface