Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder where job centre expect kids to go?

124 replies

flummoxedbanana · 20/12/2013 13:50

My sisters husband left last year when their son was a newborn. Shes in the final year of her degree and her son was one a few weeks ago. Shes currently on income support and has been accepted on a graduate teacher programme commencing in September. She received a letter from the job centre informing her she must attend a lone parent information session in January which is a group activity and will last at least two hours. The letter states she can receive help with childcare costs but obviously most nurseries won't take children for a few hours as a one off because they recognise, quite rightly, that they're likely to be upset and unsettled. Her son has never been away from her so even if she could find a nursery to take him she'd have to sit listening to pointless information while he's distraught. I live several hours away otherwise I'd help out. AIBU to wonder where the job centre expect kids to go?

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 20/12/2013 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
flummoxedbanana · 20/12/2013 14:49

She takes him for normal appointments but this specifies no children. Woowoo - the only jobs there are care work. Should she really quit an almost complete degree and wipe backsides instead of teaching like she's always dreamed of and which will provide a much more stable lifestyle for her son?

OP posts:
scarlettsmummy2 · 20/12/2013 14:50

She should phone them and ask of they are going to provide a crèche. If not, what provisions do they have in place as an alternative. She is not under any obligation to look for work until her youngest child is five.

Gladvent · 20/12/2013 14:50

Does the dad see his child? If so surely he should take care of him for a couple of hours.
If not I'd just turn up with him. In a sling with a big coat on top, at least until I had signed the register.

Original poster
flummoxedbanana · 20/12/2013 14:50

What do you suggest she does with him then woowoo if it's so easy?

OP posts:
scarlettsmummy2 · 20/12/2013 14:53

Sorry 'crèche'

insancerre · 20/12/2013 14:53

no, absolutley not, flummoxed, she needs to complete her course
can she not ask on facebook if anyone can help for a couple of hours so she can attend the appointment?

HoHoHopasholic · 20/12/2013 14:55

She needs to phone them. They should be able to arrange a one to one appointment with a LP adviser who will then be able to waive the group session. She will be fine to take her child to the one to one appointment. If she's at uni, where does her child go then? The jobcentre will pay for the child care for the appointment so can't she use her usual child care provider?

CoffeeQueen187 · 20/12/2013 14:56

I had one of these letters yesterday. DS turned 1 on Tuesday. They don't waste any time do they? Grin

If you have a baby under 12 months you do not have to go, that's why they tell you to phone.

I'm taking DS with me, if they don't like it then tough! I turned up like they asked me to. I'll appeal against it if they stop my benefits. I have no family around me and I doubt I'll be able to find, or afford, a nursery that'll take him as a 1 off. Plus, DS is extremely clingy at the moment, so I doubt he'd stay with anyone anyway.

I have always taken my children to job centre appointments with me if they've not been in school etc. They've never minded or said anything...

MadeOfStarDust · 20/12/2013 14:56

I would suggest she hires a babysitter to come to her house and sit with the child - she has been given enough notice.

KatnipEvergreen · 20/12/2013 14:56

Did you even read the OP, WooWoo?

Why should people jump through hoops like this - courses that aren't designed for them, when she already has a graduate teacher position lined up? FFS. Forcing people to go to sessions that won't benefit them really is a waste of money. As is not supporting people in temporary need who are in education and sorting themselves out so they won't need to be on benefits. Obviously it's much better to quit education and get a low paid job and be on benefits for years and years Hmm.

Do you work for the DWP, by any chance?

WooWooOwl · 20/12/2013 14:57

There is a lot more to being a carer than wiping backsides. Hmm

Personally, I would have much more respect for someone that chose to work, whether it was in care or not, than someone who thought it was ok to go after their dream job while other people pay for them and their child for years while griping about having to find a couple of hours childcare in return for free money.

It's disgusting that people are allowed to live on benefits for five years before they even have to think about getting a job. If people on benefits are allowed all those free years at home bumming around on OU courses, then why don't those of us who have jobs get five years paid maternity leave?

SeaSickSal · 20/12/2013 14:58

You still have to go to tutorials for OU. Can she genuinely not find someone who can babysit for a few hours? If not then she should tell them the truth, not pretend she's ill.

I'm a bit 'hmm' about 'oh I can't possibly leave my child for a moment' when plenty of other women have to do just that and are having to support people like the OP through tax as well as theirselves.

I mean, she will be getting rent, council tax plus living expenses and she can't spare a couple of hours in return?

People always think they're the special one the rules don't apply to .

LostWhippet · 20/12/2013 15:00

It has to be registered childcare though or they will not reimburse her for the cost.

So that means basically a childminder or nursery.

I took my smallest to all JobCentre appointments, he was still BF regularly during the day until nearly 2 years old which did their heads in and sped up my interviews no end

Lj8893 · 20/12/2013 15:00

The letter states about help with childcare costs but does it actually state she can't bring her child?
Id be taking him with me if I were her. Tough shit, she's turned up so they can't stop her benefits!

And no, of course she shouldn't quit her education. What a stupid suggestion.

Original poster
flummoxedbanana · 20/12/2013 15:01

She had a one on one appointment last month where she showed them confirmation of GTP acceptance so just seems a bit pointless. His dad won't take time off

OP posts:
cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 15:01

So she should quit education to get a minimum wage job where she will still have to claim some benefits, rather than holding out until september to complete and use her education to find a better job woowoo?
Every thread i see you on you are bitching about benefits, get a bloody grip!
OP I would advise calling them and explaining in full the situation, generally surestart are brilliant for this kind of thing.

insancerre · 20/12/2013 15:02

woo, when I'm old and in need of having my backside wiped, I really hope that the person doing it is doing it because they have chosen to do it. And not because they have been forced into begrudgingly doing it to feed their families and would rather be doing something else.
As a graduate the op's sister will be contributing to society and will be setting an excellent example to her child.
Can you really not see that?

SoonToBeSix · 20/12/2013 15:02

Woowoo did you only join mumsnet do you could find threads to benefit bash on?Biscuit
Op she should take her baby with her its tough if they don't like it. I thought you didn't have to find a job till your child was five has it changed to one?

cantheyseeme · 20/12/2013 15:03

You dont HAVE to attend tutorials with the OU, only exams.

SeaSickSal · 20/12/2013 15:03

Katnip, I was made redundant in the summer from a seniorish job and didn't find a new one until December. In the meantime I worked crappy jobs like typing and reception.

I was capable of working so I worked. The woman in question has chosen not to work and to sit on her arse with her hand out for 10 months . It's lazy and entitled. She should work in the mean time .

WooWooOwl · 20/12/2013 15:07

I'm on plenty of threads thanks, you can look if you're that bothered.

I just don't like people who claim benefits for flimsy reasons and then bitch about the fact that they are expected to go to something as easy as an information evening.

Lj8893 · 20/12/2013 15:09

It's hardly a flimsy reason!! She has a job lined up!!

hugoagogo · 20/12/2013 15:09

Some OU courses (most final year ones I think) have end of year projects instead of exams and tutorials are not compulsory either.

NoComet · 20/12/2013 15:10

I'd just turn up with the child. I absolutely hate this attitude of DCs being parkable parcles. They are not!

Swipe left for the next trending thread