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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school could have had different prizes

47 replies

ineedanexcuse · 19/12/2013 17:29

My lovely dd has won an ipad mini at school .All the kids who work well and dont get detentions or lose house points get put into a draw . The top prize was the ipad mini.

This is a great prize and excellent to be the recipent of.But why oh why does it have to be the year we scrape together the money to buy her a samsung tablet?

Im gutted that our present is useless now. We tried so hard to get her the tablet in recognition of her hard work and general loveliness at home .

So sad(but happy for her).

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/12/2013 17:31

I cant see you getting a lot of sympathy here to be honest. Take it back and exchange it and get her something else.

Rachelx92 · 19/12/2013 17:32

Could you hold on to the tablet for next year or birthday?

MustTidyUpMustTidyUp · 19/12/2013 17:33

What squeaky said.

OnceUponAThyme · 19/12/2013 17:35

ask which she'd prefer. either sell the ipad or take the Samsung back and get something else.
or give it back to the school explaining, so another child could benefit?

GiveItYourBestStockings · 19/12/2013 17:36

Is she old enough to decide for herself? She could maybe donate the Samsung to a Toy Run so that a little girl or boy in need could benefit both from your hard saving and her hard work at school.

sunbathe · 19/12/2013 17:39

Exchange it for a camera or something?

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 19/12/2013 17:41

Well there's some sympathy from me
I hate it when you work hard to get the right present for someone and it's all in vain.
Normally somebody else buys it too and I have to rethink.

HerrenaHarridan · 19/12/2013 17:43

How sad for you but great for her!

I would be pretty gutted if the main present I had for dd that I had saved and saved for and was really excited about giving her was suddenly usurped by something else.

Can you return it? Do you have any idea what you would get instead?

Is she old enough that you can tell her so she knows you did this for her and can choose an alternative.

Domple · 19/12/2013 17:46

Hand the present back to the school and let the runner up/second person have it.

Sounds a very generous gift for a school tbh!

Moxiegirl · 19/12/2013 17:48

Return yours and get her something else?

Moxiegirl · 19/12/2013 17:49

Why would anyone hand it back Confused

Heartbrokenmum73 · 19/12/2013 17:49

Tbh, I think it's quite obscene that the school is giving out prizes of so much worth.

DD got an award for 100% attendance on Monday - a card from her House Tutor and a gold star pin badge.

Perfectly adequate - schools shouldn't be giving away iPads.

WooWooOwl · 19/12/2013 17:51

You have loads of sympathy from me, I'd be a in a huge mixed mess of feelings in your position.

I can see why a school might choose to use incentives such as this, but at the same time, I don't like it. I'd prefer the reward to be something that is directly related to the achievement, so everyone that does the same good thing is rewarded in the same way. The benefit of working hard shouldn't be down to chance in a 'names in a hat' way.

How old is your dd? I think I'd be honest with her and help her choose what to do next. You might be able to exchange the tablet for a camera or iPad accessory that she'd like.

NurseRoscoe · 19/12/2013 18:09

I'm with most of the other people on here to be honest, take it back and exchange it for something else, is there anything else your daughter would really love?

If she is old enough, discuss it with her. Tell her how much you have appreciated her behaviour at home and her hard work at school, that you are really proud of her and would like to get her something special

Even when I was a little girl, knowing that my parents were proud of me and I had made them happy was enough for me, some children really do just appreciate that you love them & from what you have said she sounds like a wonderful little girl

Original poster
ineedanexcuse · 19/12/2013 18:14

She is 13 and does deserve recognition for her hard work . But I agree .An Ipad mini is not what I would have chosen. I dont know why they do such big prizes for the draw but it has been like this for the last few years at least.There are also Vouchers for meals and activities .

I have no intention of sending the ipad back to be given to someone else. Its Dds ,and won fair and square. Its just my first world problem that needs addressing.

I will probably return the tablet and case and get something else . But I was so looking forward to seeing her open the tablet as she has had to use the old Pc that is slow and is shared with everyone else. It would have made her Christmas

OP posts:
Lilicat1013 · 19/12/2013 18:41

We had this issue last year, my son is autistic with severe communication difficulties. He was awarded an iPad Mini by a charity to assist his communication.

I got the letter about a week before Christmas and phoned my Mother to tell her the great news and she went silent. She then told me my brother had brought us a Samsung tablet as a family gift and set it all up for my son with apps we would like and specialist things for autism.

It was such a wonderful and generous thing to do, I didn't want to ruin his big surprise so we didn't show my son the iPad Mini to mention it to anyone till after Christmas. We pretended to him we had got the letter in January. On Christmas Day I made sure we showed how surprised and delighted we were with the gift. We have ended up using both tablets with my son mainly using the iPad and the grown ups using the Samsung so it has still been a lovely and much appreciated gift.

We had the same thing happen this year. My mother and I were going to club together and get my husband a Blu Ray player except my brother gave my husband his Playstation as he is moving abroad and it apparently plays Blu Rays so no need to have a separate player. Luckily we hadn't brought it yet.

It is gutting to have the gift you are so excited about giving usurped. Is there any way you can swap it?

CranberrySaucyJack · 19/12/2013 18:44

Sell the iPad and buy yourself some diamond shoes that fit properly with the money.

lisad123everybodydancenow · 19/12/2013 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummy1973 · 19/12/2013 18:53

yabu...what a lovely situation to be in really isn't it?

LeafyGreen13 · 19/12/2013 18:54

Can you get a new laptop with the Samsung money? Not sure how much they are but a new laptop would be handy for schoolwork surely.

IamInvisible · 19/12/2013 18:55

I think it is obscene that something like an iPad mini is given out as a prize for doing what you should do in school.

Both of my DC went right the way through school without ever getting a detention, behaviour sheet, losing house points and put in maximum effort. I am glad their HT thought it was better to spend the money on resources to benefit the DC at school, tbh.

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 19/12/2013 18:59

Oh, I think you are going to get a few snarky comments, but I do understand where you are coming from. My DD has been harking on for months about a Polaroid camera and she is going to be so excited to get hers on Xmas day. I'd be gutted if she won one now.

I'd be honest with her - tell her that you have bought a tablet and that you are happy to take it back and get her something else. That way she knows all the thought and saving you put in to getting it. She's old enough to understand that.

And well done to her for doing so well.

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 19/12/2013 18:59

Oh, and I would imagine that the iPad mini was donated to the school?

lisad123everybodydancenow · 19/12/2013 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoonToBeSix · 19/12/2013 19:42

Yanbu I totally understand where you are coming from. It's a cliche but it is better to give than receive and you have lost the joy in giving your dd something she would have loved that you saved for.
Could you return the tablet and use the money to take her on an extra special day out instead?