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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't think I am BU but by God I wish I'd said something!

62 replies

Heartbrokenmum73 · 19/12/2013 16:16

Was waiting at the bus stop this lunchtime, having a lovely friendly chat with two women (one of them had a pug, we were making a fuss of it). I was quite happy, in a lovely mood, feeling all Christmassy.

The bus came round the corner and people started getting off. This bloke made a beeline straight for me and said (with a smile and in a joking voice) 'I don't think it's going to be a happy Christmas with that face on!'.

I did a double take at him and said 'what face?'. And he pulled a sad face at me. I just went 'oh' and he walked off.

I've had this shit loads during my life. I'm not a miserable person, far from it, but I don't walk around grinning like The Joker or with a coathanger in my mouth! My mouth naturally has a downwards tilt to the corners.

Why is it that some men people think it's ok to pull this crap with women? It's always women they target. Yeah, I'm sure he thinks he was being amusing, but it really isn't, not when you get it a lot anyway. How does he know I haven't just had a death in the family or something.

Would it be wrong of me to pull someone the next time they do this? It killed my good mood right off for a whole five minutes

OP posts:
cantheyseeme · 19/12/2013 17:58

My default face is miserable, im not miserable at all haha, i have a colleague whos husband (we also work together) thinks im a mardy serious bitch but she knows me and says nothing could be further from the truth!
I hate the saying "cheer up it might never happen" men tend to be the ones to use that beauty too!

WigWearer · 19/12/2013 18:02

OK, Hester, you are right. This is plainly something that is just as widespread among women and men.

Except it's not, is it?

Hmm
HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 18:05

Where did I say that?

Bigbadgladioli · 19/12/2013 18:25

It just means they fancy you. You may not believe it, but there it is.

This was explained to me some time ago by a very laddish lad when I complained about how infuriating this was. "It's not my job to go around grinning like an idiot, so they feel better..." I now just feel sad for deluded men that do this in order to "make contact" or "get noticed".

HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 18:31

Cor! So one should flattered when one is told, "Cheer up love, you've got a face like a slapped arse"?

Who knew?

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 19/12/2013 18:32

BigBad
That is just an extension of the 'he's just pulling your pigtails because he likes you', and enables men to get away with bad behaviour.

If a man likes me, then he can talk to me like a human being, and start a conversation. Not that it will get him anywhere, cause I am happily married, but if I wasn't...

LindyHemming · 19/12/2013 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotAsTired · 19/12/2013 18:51

I used to get this all the time when I was younger and more attractive and yes, always men. If I could be bothered, I used to give them a big smile and say "at least I'm not bald/ugly/lacking manners/" and walk off, I never got any nastiness because they never expected that.

Can I widen this to other areas of physical appearance? I've had a lot of comments from random men in the past about my height. I am very short It seems to give men the right to comment on it. Wtf? "You're short". And you're a prick. (I have actually said that!)

NotAsTired · 19/12/2013 18:53

And I do think its like pulling pigtails - a way to get to noticed by a woman. Pathetic creatures.

HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 18:56

Really???????! My own mother accused her 9 year old daughter of having a face like fuck!

Well...fuck!

ProfondoRosso · 19/12/2013 18:59

I'm not sure, Hester - my granny from Derry used to say face like fizz, but she meant you looked very happy or excited!

HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 19:03

Tbh, I'm not sure my mother knows much about slang. She also used to holler things like "WOULD YOU HURRY UP! WHAT ARE YOU FRIGGING AROUND AT?"

She would also call you "mingey" if she thought you were being mean.

Sigh.

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