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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Infuriating ailing DH

28 replies

PoisonedApple · 17/12/2013 22:16

Whenever I don't feel well and I mention this to DH instead of sympathy and offers to provide lemsip etc. he immediately develops a worse version and goes to bed. Is this a normal part of married life or is he special?

OP posts:
MerryFuckingChristmas · 17/12/2013 22:16

Neither, he's a dick

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 17/12/2013 22:17

DH always has what I have. Recently my recurring headaches were diagnosed as migraines and now he has migraines. Seriously, never had them before. I blame his narc father. What's your DH's excuse?

ChristmasJumperWearer · 17/12/2013 22:20

OP, my DH does a version of this, compounded with a spot of competitive tiredness. Which often coincides with the weekends, specifically at the times we discuss who is getting the lie-in that day. Angry

PansOnFire · 17/12/2013 22:23

Yep, we have this too. Actually its more with the competitive tiredness, if I'm really ill he doesn't do it but if its like a cold or a bit of a headache then he's always worse.

PoisonedApple · 17/12/2013 22:25

I must try this with something female specific and see if he gets that worse too...

OP posts:
WhispersOfWickedness · 17/12/2013 22:26

Yep, my DH has always got a worse version of what I have. What is worse is that 4yo DS seems to have inherited the hypochondria. I may have to stop taking him to the doctors with me as the last time he completely monopolised the GPs time and made her listen to his chest! Hmm
I was a bit worried when I was pregnant, wondering how DH would cope with me being in labour, but thankfully he obviously realised he couldn't top it and was wonderfully supportive instead Grin

DameDeepRedBetty · 17/12/2013 22:29

About the only bit of the menopause I'm not looking forward to is no longer having a handy 'I'm going to have a very early night/bit of a lie-in/both as I feel so shit' get out clause once every four weeks.

Salmotrutta · 17/12/2013 22:31

Is my DH the only man in the world who doesn't get "man-flu", is rarely pathetic, doesn't complain much unless he is really unwell?

Seems like it on here sometimes! Grin

Mim78 · 17/12/2013 22:32

I think there is a tendency about men to behave like this.

Salmotrutta · 17/12/2013 22:33

Ah but DameDeep - you will have the night-sweats, burning hot feet, rages/mood swings, weird pains, strongly smelling urine, insomnia etc.

Such fun.

Salmotrutta · 17/12/2013 22:34

I know because I've got all of them by the way!

RandomMess · 17/12/2013 22:36

When dh says he's ill he is ill but he doesn't get that I wake up with back pain every day of my life Confused

raisah · 17/12/2013 22:36

Mine does not acknowledge my sickness, he carries on as if hadn't heard anything & everything is normal. He has autistic tendencies so I suppose it's an explaination.

TheNightIsDark · 17/12/2013 22:36

Special!??

EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 17/12/2013 22:37

Tell him you have thrush and see if he suddenly develops it too.

MerryFuckingChristmas · 17/12/2013 22:37

what are they like eh ?

salmo, no, you are not the only one in a relationship with someone who doesn't act like a spoilt child

Salmotrutta · 17/12/2013 22:40

Thank god Merry!

I've been ever so worried about the state of menfolk nowadays.

If I just went by what I read on here I'd be thinking men were all a bit namby-pamby nowadays.

TheNightIsDark · 17/12/2013 22:48

This thread is like reading a boots advert Confused

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 17/12/2013 22:48

My dh is exactly the same. Dd and I call it " dads got the actually" because if I say "oh I feel sick/throat hurts/legs fallen off" he says

"Oh actually ....."

FandangoLaLaLaLaLaLaLaaaa · 17/12/2013 22:50

Ha I have a DP who HAD to go to school even if he was dying. MiL even sent him in for a week with what transpired to be a broken wrist. He now drags himself to work come hell or high water and makes himself more and more ill in the process. Sometimes I wish he'd just admit it, take to his bed and sleep himself well!

It also means that I get zero sympathy when I'm ill. I have to go to my mums and get her to pander to me instead Grin

DramaAlpaca · 17/12/2013 22:55

My DF does this. If anyone has a pain anywhere he always has a worse one. It drives my DM mad.

My DH, on the other hand, is a stoic type. If he says he's sick you know he's feeling really, really bad.

FruitbatAuntie · 17/12/2013 23:12

My arsehole ExP does exactly this, like it was a competitive sport. And every single time, he would state that although he had said this before, this time he actually did feel like he was dying/his organs were failing/this was the most ill he had ever ever been, etc.

He turned a common cold into 4-5 days in bed watching Netflix and catching up on sleep, while I struggled on with 2 kids getting more and more knackered - to the point where I got severely anaemic and B12 deficient and 1/2 my hair fell out in great handfuls everywhere. A stomach bug just last week sent him to bed for a week (he still lodges in my front room as he is 'saving up a deposit' to move out - it's been 6 months!). DS1 and I had it too, DS had 2 days off school as a precaution but I just had to dose myself with immodium and get on with it all. Ex refuses to take any medication for anything as it will 'make him worse'.

All his illnesses were carefully timed to coincide with birthdays, Christmas (he went back to bed as ill before kids even finished opening presents several years), days out...

ExP doesnt take me being ill seriously at all - if I am not bedbound, I am clearly not ill, even if I point out that bedbound is not an option for someone parenting 2 kids including a BF baby basically on their own. He seems to almost get angry with me when I have been really, undeniably ill. When I was admitted to hospital he was a total arsehole, and went out on the piss an hour after I got discharged.

Sorry for ranting, I think you touched a nerve!

Financeprincess · 17/12/2013 23:57

Yes, they are complete babies.

My DH gets really excited when he thinks he might have caught something. He tries to hide it by looking pensive and wan but the glee with which he jumps into bed at the first twinge of a sore throat!

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 18/12/2013 11:14

My DM does this! It's so annoying! If I'm a bit sickly with something and I spend time with her for five minutes, the next day she has miraculously 'caught it' and wants sympathy!

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