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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really pissed off about DS's Christmas present?

49 replies

RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 18:24

First off I live overseas. I wanted to get DS something particularly British for Christmas. Had an idea but couldn't find what I wanted online with delivery to where I am. PIL arrived today for a pre-Christmas visit so I had asked MIL if she could purchase what I wanted and I'd reimburse her when she got here. She happily agreed to this. This will be DS's main present from us.

So she's putting presents she brought with her under the tree and I asked about the item I requested and how much I owed her. Apparently I don't owe her anything because when it arrived it was so lovely that she decided to give it to him from them instead. So it's one of the parcels under the tree.

I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. I wanted DS to have one and he will, but I wanted it to be from us. Plus we now don't have a present to give him. I'm really upset about this. AIBU aren't I Xmas Sad?

OP posts:
QuietNinjaTardis · 15/12/2013 18:26

No I don't think you are bu. did she know it wAs your main present for him?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 15/12/2013 18:27

That would piss me off a lot! YANBU. I think you should insist on paying her for it so that you can give it to DS.

Squitten · 15/12/2013 18:27

I don't think YABU at all!

I'd be furious that she a)stole my gift idea after agreeing to help and b)that she had left me with no gift this close to Xmas

Cheeky cow!

Nanny0gg · 15/12/2013 18:28

You're not AIBU. Has your DH spoken to them? I think you should insist - unless it will make your Christmas really horrible.

I admit I would find it hard to get past my disappointment - and they'd know about it!

Can you think of something else to get him? You have a week.

CeliaFate · 15/12/2013 18:28

I would insist on paying her, and if she refused, I would giver her a cheque then unwrap the present and rewrap it from me and dh. If she wants to play games, I would play too.
What is the present?

lookatmycameltoe · 15/12/2013 18:28

I'd be furious! Cheeky mare!

Mishmashofstyles · 15/12/2013 18:30

Well she obviously isn't thinking is she? Very rude indeed.

Sirzy · 15/12/2013 18:31

if she isn't staying til christmas then unwrap it and rewrap it from you.

CaptainSweatPants · 15/12/2013 18:31

Just take the tag off & say it's from santa

Original poster
RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 18:33

It's a wooden pull along Ninky-Nonk. MIL had never even heard of In The Night Garden but DS is mesmerised by it.

OP posts:
Hmmkay · 15/12/2013 18:44

Yanbu to be a bit annoyed but personally I often tell my parents the presents I know my dc are really excited about as I know that it makes them happy when they see the dc so happy to get that present. But I'm sure it's annoying as you haven't actually planned for it to be from them.

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 15/12/2013 18:50

WTF? No, of course she can't steal the credit for your present! If she wanted to give it to him, then she should have bought it first. Tell her to buy another ITNG toy, you BOUGHT this one!

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 15/12/2013 18:53

Hmm. Although perhaps I can see a good intention in it, like they thought it was so nice they decided to save you the money. Did they not realise it was his main present from you?

I would approach it by saying "Look, it's really kind of you to offer, but this is our main present to him. But if you want to get him something else ITNG related you'd be more than welcome to."

In the scheme of things, if he's at the age of watching ITNG, he will never remember or even realise who bought him what, so it's really between you and her to try and sort out.

Casmama · 15/12/2013 18:53

It is really annoying and out of order but tbh if your DS s of an age that he likes in the night garden then it makes no difference to him who gives it. Sounds like they won't even be there at Christmas so I wouldn't worry.

Casmama · 15/12/2013 18:54

X posts Bertie

OrangePixie · 15/12/2013 18:55

I would rewrap it and say its from you. Sod her.

onedogandababy · 15/12/2013 18:55

No YADNBU. This is horrible, it's exactly the sort of shit my mother pulls.
You have my sympathy. I'd state to her that it's the present you & her son have thought about, chosen and want to give to your son.

I'm sure she's doing it from the best of intentions, but she needs to hand it over, let you reimburse her & go and get him something else.

HoHolepew · 15/12/2013 18:55

I'd be fuming and would take it back then poke her in the eye

lostdomain · 15/12/2013 18:58

Just buy a cuddly teddy or similar, and wrap it up from her, then put your name tag on the thing you asked her to get. She probably means well. Not worth creating tension over her thoughtless generosity.

Original poster
RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 19:01

As you all don't think IABU I'm going to stick it in the Santa sack, he can't read the label anyway :o

OP posts:
Casmama · 15/12/2013 19:03

How old is your DS?

Original poster
RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 19:08

He's 9 months, so he really doesn't understand or care. That's why I feel like AIBU even though in principle she's out of order. I'll just have to get DS the one thing he loves more than anything else in the entire universe, a pile of carpet fluff.

OP posts:
gimcrack · 15/12/2013 19:10

Get your DH to have a word, as this will ensure it doesn't happen again. Your DS won't know who it's from, which is the important thing, but when he's older he will so you need to nip it in the bud.

Casmama · 15/12/2013 19:17

Aw but it's his first Christmas and she nicked your idea so I can understand why you are annoyed.
I would be very clear next year that you were upset she did this this year if you are asking her to get something else.

onlyfortonight · 15/12/2013 19:20

I wouldn't worry too much this year...DS will never know. However, I would never involve her again in present buying. I would be very Angry if my MIL pulled this stunt once my children understood Christmas.