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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really pissed off about DS's Christmas present?

49 replies

RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 18:24

First off I live overseas. I wanted to get DS something particularly British for Christmas. Had an idea but couldn't find what I wanted online with delivery to where I am. PIL arrived today for a pre-Christmas visit so I had asked MIL if she could purchase what I wanted and I'd reimburse her when she got here. She happily agreed to this. This will be DS's main present from us.

So she's putting presents she brought with her under the tree and I asked about the item I requested and how much I owed her. Apparently I don't owe her anything because when it arrived it was so lovely that she decided to give it to him from them instead. So it's one of the parcels under the tree.

I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. I wanted DS to have one and he will, but I wanted it to be from us. Plus we now don't have a present to give him. I'm really upset about this. AIBU aren't I ?

OP posts:

Gladvent · 15/12/2013 19:20

It really doesn't matter, honestly.

Original poster

RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 19:23

Next year I'm telling her he wants Grand Theft Auto. Lets see her show off and take credit with her WI friends for that one :o

OP posts:

ginmakesitallok · 15/12/2013 19:23

He's only 9 months!!! Yabu!!! Who cares who gets the credit? He won't know. Not worth falling out over, have some Christmas spirit.

Gladvent · 15/12/2013 19:23

Mind you, I always suggest the 'glory presents' for MIL. She loves spoiling the DC, I can't see the point in getting competitive over it. My parents love to give practical or educational stuff. And I get to spend every day with the DC so I don't need anything more than that!

SatinSandals · 15/12/2013 19:43

At his age he hasn't a clue! He doesn't understand, so it really doesn't matter. I know a lot of people who don't get their baby anything on the strength that they are getting plenty from other people. It is a timely warning for the future-never do it again!

minnisota · 15/12/2013 19:56

When was she going to tell you? from your OP it sounds like you had to ask. That would have annoyed me as well as her nicking your present idwa. yanbu

Guitargirl · 15/12/2013 20:00

I was all ready to say you are not being unreasonable and then I read how old your son is. He won't have a clue who the present is from or differentiate between the Santa sack and any other presents. There will be no 'credit' to give to anyone! Just let him enjoy the present and learn from this for when he's older.

fluffyraggies · 15/12/2013 20:06

I'd be pissed off.

No, of course the DS wont know anything about it - but that doesn't make rude behaviour ok.

This is about the treatment of the MIL to the OP. Who on earth would think it was ok, when asked to go buy a specific item for the child's parents to give, to say 'oh yeah, we go it, but we're giving it to him. So tough'.

Nice.

MerryChristmasMollyHooper · 15/12/2013 20:10

YANBU it's not really about how old your son is, she still did it.

No matter how you spin it it's still a crappy thing to do.

PrammyMammy · 15/12/2013 20:12

We were buying ds a lightning McQueen bike as his main gift 2 year ago.
My mum knew that and went and bought him the bike.
I was overjoyed, it saved me £100! All our gifts come from Santa, my mum & dad store all our gifts with theirs and bring it all over on Christmas eve.

Yanbu though if you do things differently. But if your baby is 9mo they won't know any difference.

CremeEggThief · 15/12/2013 20:12

Unwrap it and then re-wrap it from you. Seriously, just do it.

FrameyMcFrame · 15/12/2013 20:15

DS gets the good pressie either way. Do you really care if it comes from you or his gran, it's not about you is it?
The shops are still open by the way...

overmydeadbody · 15/12/2013 20:17

9 Months!

Oh. My. Word.

Why do anything? He won't even know who it is from!

YABU

You don't even have to rewrap it. He is a baby. He will not understand about present giving.

This is a non-issue.

MerryChristmasMollyHooper · 15/12/2013 20:18

That's what I would be doing CremeEgg. I would turn into Mrs Passive Aggressive.

'Oh! I didn't think you were being serious . Here's the money and thanks for bringing it'

overmydeadbody · 15/12/2013 20:18

MIL probably thinks he is just a baby and it doesn't matter!

MerryChristmasMollyHooper · 15/12/2013 20:19

DS2 is 5 months and I would be pissed off.

What does his age have to do with it?

LalyRawr · 15/12/2013 20:28

Completely off the point but where did your MIL get it from?

Been looking for one for my DD.

If it helps YANBU!

sykadelic15 · 15/12/2013 20:54

YANBU for feeling slighted. I would talk to her about it and explain that you asked her to get it FOR you and doing what she's done is a huge breach of trust. I would explain to her that her doing that is like her mailing presents and you opening them and telling DS that they're from you and just sending her money for them. Tell her that you trusted her to do the right thing, just as she would trust you to do the right thing.

She only knew about it because you told her about it. You could tell her that in the future you'll give her some other ideas for presents for DS but you would appreciate it if she didn't do something like that again.

Original poster

RodneyTheChristmasElf · 15/12/2013 20:59

From ebay LalyRawr

OP posts:

DeepThought · 15/12/2013 20:59

ah well at least you'll know not to tell her his main pressie idea/s in future, and maybe tap up friends abroad to source and post stuff to you instead of relying on ILs

on balance, this is a WIN for you IYSWIM

Floggingmolly · 15/12/2013 21:04

He's 9 months... . All she's done is saved you the money; the baby won't have a bloody clue who gave it to him, you, her or the man who runs the corner pub.
Why create bad feeling for no reason?

MerryChristmasMollyHooper · 15/12/2013 21:15

To be fair the OP hasn't created the bad feeling, her MIL has by being so cheeky. She decided to give it to him from them instead

It's not about the money. She wanted to give her son the gift from her, it's his first Christmas and that's important to some people.

jay55 · 15/12/2013 22:36

At least he's too young to know and you know not to rely on her for buying his gifts when he is old enough to know.

cees · 15/12/2013 22:41

Tell her she is taking the mick and pay her for it or this will only get worse in the years to come. Nip her in the bud now.

Yanbu

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