I am a lp. I work in a shit job which pays pittance and I have to work Saturdays. When I took the job on my mum said she would help me with the kids on Saturdays so that I could do my job.
I really appreciate her help and without her I couldn't go out to work so this isn't me bitching about her. I am very appreciative of the help she has given me.
However over time things have begun to slip. She has the children at my house as she says its easier whilst I usually do a 9-5 shift. It is a very hard physical job and I am exhausted when I get home.
Let me explain what happened today. I got home from work and could barely open the front door.....there were toys everywhere!
Went in to the living room to discover the kids were running around naked. Not a stitch of clothing on. I immediately started tidying up because there was crap everywhere. Bits of paper the kids had torn up like confetti sprinkled all over the floor. This was annoying but I was just getting on with tidying it up. Then I realised the children had been playing with a tube of super glue. It was all over ds's school uniform which was dumped in the middle of the floor and when I inspected dd it was all over her hands. (The dcs are 5 and 6) This is very strong glue that I have nearly glued my fingers together with in the past.....not something I would want anywhere near the children. I realise this should not have been in reach of the children I thought it was up high on a shelf out of their reach but it wasn't. I was really angry at this...mainly because it could have had really horrendous effects if one of the kids had glued their fingers together or their eyes or something. The minuet I said something my mum flew off the handle with me and would accept no responsibility for it. She said it was my fault for leaving it where they could access it. I realise this is part of the problem and it is now in the bin outside but I also think she should have been paying closer attention to them. Her argument was basically that she had done me a favour by looking after them and by making such a criticism I was unappreciative of her help. This isn't the case at all but I don't expect to come home and find that!
I then ventured upstairs to grab some washing and the mess I was greeted with was a total joke. The kids had pulled every singled toy out....their room was inaccessible, as was the landing and the toys were trailing down the stairs. They had pulled loads of clean clothes out of their draws and these were include in the mess. They had also been into my room and pulled my stuff out and strewn it across the landing. I immediately made them go up and clear it up and they went and did it straight away, no questions.
I am really upset by it all. I know the children need to learn to have respect for their belonging and their home....however they know that I don't condone that kind of mess and when I ask them to clear up/do something they usually do it. They are typical kids, sometimes you have to nag a bit. They are cleaning up now and have had a severe talking to. However I feel had they been being supervised properly then things wouldn't have been allowed to spiral out of control in such a way.
In my mums defence she has chronic fatigue syndrome. This has been diagnosed recently. I have asked her before if our arrangement is too much for her to cope with but she says not.
I have taken a new job so this wont be an issue for much longer as I will only be working school hours. This is one of the reasons I have taken a new job as I don't feel I can leave her with the kids for long periods of time.
I don't want to seem unappreciative. I love my mum, she is one of my closest friends and I couldn't live without her. She does a lot for me as I do for her. But things like this really get to me. Its not like I am going out partying, I am going to work. I have told her the kids will happily sit and watch a dvd for an hour or two if she wants them a little more contained. Like I said this wont be an issue for much longer....which I am glad of. We can go back to being friends again and this just causes tension. I don't want to have a go at her because she takes everything so personally and its not the way it is intended. I just need to vent.