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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel hurt and let down

49 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 18:42

I know I should expect it but I feel really down.

Plan to go out for a drink with family and friend tomorrow night for my birthday on Sunday, all apart my parents have cancelled.

All RSVP saying yes and for once was looking forward to my birthday.

On top of this me and DH are going though a rough patch.

I feel so alone and tearful.

Thank god for my DC as other wise I think what's the point.

OP posts:
Slinkysista · 13/12/2013 18:53

Oh I'm really sorry to hear that, the only thing I can think of is that it's a busy time of the year but still not really a good enough excuse.
Chin up, things will get better. Go out and enjoy yourself anyway! Happy Birthday Cake

jeanmiguelfangio · 13/12/2013 19:07

YANBU happy birthday for Sunday OP, go out with your parents as planned and you never know, it might be fun!

ProfPlumSpeaking · 13/12/2013 19:10

aw, I'm not surprised you feel a bit miffed, but so glad you have your parents and your children. Go and give the DC a big hug right now :-)

snowed · 13/12/2013 19:11

YANBU. Happy Birthday for Sunday Thanks

TheWanderingUterus · 13/12/2013 19:15

Happy birthday for Sunday, it's my birthday on Sunday too ( all the best people are born ten days before Christmas!)

I hope your parents do something lovely with you, it's a difficult time of year to be born because everyone is focused elsewhere and there are lots of other parties to attend. Be kind to yourself and take it easy.

bzoo · 13/12/2013 19:17

I'm having a get together night for my friends tomorrow night. Couldn't think of Christmas presents so thought if do this instead for them. I've been let down before by them all and I have a boggling feeling they won't show..... We could team up?! Grin hope you manage to enjoy your birthday x

MrsUptight · 13/12/2013 19:36

Don't take it personally. I've spoken to at least 3 people over the last few days who are cancelling various nights out...mainly due to shortage of cash/time.

Why don't you reschedule it in the new year....I know it's not quite the same thing. GO out for a meal with your parents instead.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 21:12

Now my parents have cancelled.

FFS my birthday is the same date, always is.

I swear next year I just will not bother with any birthday.

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 13/12/2013 21:41

Im sorry that youre upset fortydoors,thats shit tbh.I know it wont make up for it but make sure you get yourself a nice treat just for you.Whether you order a nice meal just for you in or get something nice for yourself,you deserve sonething whether people can make it or not.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 21:54

I'm breaking my heart, I really don't why people hate me.

What have I done so wrong if life people don't want to be there for my birthday.

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 13/12/2013 21:57

I'm really hoping they're being sneaky and have planned a nice surprise for you....
Make plans for yourself so that you are going to do something you enjoy and have a lovely day whatever happens.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 21:59

I know it's nothing planned, I just got to face it my family just don't care

OP posts:
Mummybookworm · 13/12/2013 22:00

It's my birthday on Sunday too. Happy Birthday Forty. I am sorry you feel crap. I don't have anything profound to say but have a hug and some Thanks from me Smile

WaffilyVersatile · 13/12/2013 22:29

my birthday is a week on sunday and I have resigned myself to not doing anything at all. I would like to think its because nobody has any money but it feels very lonely... you have my sympathies

RoseRedder · 13/12/2013 23:02

Hey , you might have a different outlook on birthdsays and special occoassions

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 23:07

This is a very sad thread. Its not you who has done anything wrong its those people who would make you sad on your birthday. Have a nice time with your parents and treat yourself kindly.

blobandsnail · 13/12/2013 23:18

I too have a birthday near christmas and had this problem for years. My top tip to avoid birthday disappointment is never plan anything that relies on anyone else. Since I realised this a few years ago I've had lovely enjoyable birthdays. Plan things you enjoy doing alone and do them. Go and see a film you want to see alone, treat yourself to some popcorn too. Go for a walk somewhere with your children (or in my case the dog). Get your hair done. Go shopping not for christmas but for you. The sales in clothes shops have started so go out and treat yourself! Don't think of it as depressing because you're all alone on your birthday. Think of it as a blissful treat where it's just your time to treat yourself without pleasing other people.

Yes it would be lovely if one of the people who supposedly care about me went to some effort to make my birthday special. But people generally suck when it comes to birthdays. This year I received 1 card and not a single present. Do I care? No! I bought myself some awesome presents instead and at least they were things I wanted and not things I had to pretend I like.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 23:35

Next year I know to not have hopes

OP posts:
jeanmiguelfangio · 14/12/2013 09:13

Oh forty, I know exactly how you feel. My husband says our family motto is fuck em. It's horrible but people do like you and I am sure it is nothing you have done. People just don't think.
Just ignore others and say screw them, have a lovely day with your DCs and remember that you are always loved- here have some Thanks

LimitedEditionLady · 14/12/2013 11:31

I doubt people hate you forty dont be thinking that.Did you tell your parents how its made you feel?Id also throw your feelings into the mix as politely as you can when you attend their birthdays.Just along the likes " so can we definately do something for my birthday cos i feel like because mine is near christmas I get forgotten so please remember to budget!"

Iamsparklyknickers · 14/12/2013 11:45

Fuck them - fwiw I don't usually condone adults throwing their toys out of the pram, but I think in this case you're more than within your rights to let people know how you're feeling. They rsvp'd then pulled out. It'd be hurtful if they'd said no in the first place but to let you think till the eleventh hour it was all dandy is just cruel.

I'm a bitter, twisted cut-my-nose-off type, so would be pulling out of any xmas/new years stuff to make my point, but don't do that if in your heart of hearts you know it'd make you unhappy, you don't need anymore heartache. Do practice dropping into conversation what a let down your birthday has been this year and enjoying making people squirm.

Can you do something special with the kids? Tell them it's your day and let them go to town making you feel special?

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 14/12/2013 15:57

Thanks for all your support.

Still off out and I am determined to enjoy myself.

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 14/12/2013 16:36

Good woman, have a great time ThanksWine

Skrybal · 14/12/2013 17:47

Happy birthday xx

SecretSantaFix · 14/12/2013 17:48

Have a fab time spoiling yourself.

Sod the lot of them.

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