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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel hurt and let down

49 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/12/2013 18:42

I know I should expect it but I feel really down.

Plan to go out for a drink with family and friend tomorrow night for my birthday on Sunday, all apart my parents have cancelled.

All RSVP saying yes and for once was looking forward to my birthday.

On top of this me and DH are going though a rough patch.

I feel so alone and tearful.

Thank god for my DC as other wise I think what's the point.

OP posts:

turtleytwostep · 14/12/2013 17:50

That's very hurtful have you told them how you feel? Have a good night out and don't let it get you down. Just remember the next time they need something don't worry about saying no!

BakingWithToddler · 14/12/2013 18:12

I sympathise. My birthday is just after Christmas so people are usually too skint, partied out or just plain knackered to want to celebrate my birthday with me. I now either arrange something for the end of January or tell friends I'm having a night in with a takeaway if they want to join me. That way I avoid the awkward repeat calls to whichever restaurant to reduce the number booked for again and again. Since I just started arranging things with a couple of close friends I've been better able to look forward to it without expecting to be let down

Happy birthday for Sunday. Go and do something nice for yourself that you wouldn't usually treat yourself too instead of the money you'd have spent on a meal.

Groovee · 14/12/2013 18:19

Happy Birthday for tomorrow. My birthday is Tuesday and hardly anyone makes an effort yet expect me to make an effort for their birthday's

EvaBeaversProtege · 14/12/2013 18:40

Happy birthday for tomorrow! Who's going out with you?

pictish · 14/12/2013 18:48

December birthdays suck OP.
Ds2 is 6 on the 20th. We're having a party tomorrow rather than closer to his birthday, because I know that the closer we get to Christmas we get, the less likely we are to get a crowd.
Even this weekend, roughly half of the invitees have dropped out citing tickets to shows, family get togethers, Christmas parties etc...it's the time of year, isn't it? Everyone's doing stuff.
We have stuffed up a few gaps with siblings and whatnot...but yeah it's a horrible time of year to have a birthday.

What is crappy in your situation is that they said yes, then bailed. A no in the first place might have been better.

Sorry though - it's shitty and it hurts. xxx

KittensoftPuppydog · 14/12/2013 19:23

Happy birthday. Now you can please yourself.

SpottyDottie · 14/12/2013 19:50

Make the most of the day anyway, Op. I'm glad you are still going out. Do something lovely with your DC. I really hope you have a Happy Birthday.

I hope the others had damn good excuses for cancelling!

I know how you feel. I am not one of life's popular people. I don't have many friends but have many acquaintances iyswim. I don't know what Ive done to make people feel they can't warm to me but they don't and I have now learnt not to waste my energies on it upsetting me. It used to but I can't change anything. I try my best to be friendly and chatty. So I don't know.

goldie81 · 14/12/2013 20:03

Happy bday! I know how you feel! My bday 24th & it's never a bday celebration- always Christmas!
Have a lovely time with your parents!

Bettercallsaul1 · 14/12/2013 22:39

That is very sad to hear, FortyDoors. I totally agree that your family and friend should not have changed their mind after saying they would come -they allowed you to look forward to your birthday celebration and then disappointed you.

You are not being oversensitive about this - anyone would be hurt by it. Birthdays are special, even if they are near to Christmas. I also think that if you're going through a rough patch with your DH, you need to feel the love and support of your family even more than usual and instead, you have been given the opposite.

I agree that the way to go this year is to spoil yourself with as many treats on your birthday as you can afford - a new DVD, a long soak In the bath with several glasses of wine, some new perfume... Be determined to enjoy the day despite them!

And a large part of the reason you are feeling so sad and disappointed is that I'm sure you would never do this to anyone else - you are too nice a person.

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 15/12/2013 01:19

Hi all, very drunk but my brother called me and said sorry and come over for a drink. Had an amazing time.

OP posts:

InaneNameChange · 15/12/2013 01:58

Happy Birthday! Sounds like you had a great time anyway. Happy birthday to you sings

daisychain01 · 15/12/2013 07:55

Good morning. Happy birthday x

Vivacia · 15/12/2013 08:07

Happy Birthday OP.

Quick question if you can be bothered, how often would you say you go out drinking with these people, if ever?

RubyGoat · 15/12/2013 08:12

Happy birthday! and

streakybacon · 15/12/2013 08:15

Happy birthday, Forty!

Boxing Day baby here - I never plan anything outside of ds and dh for my day. We have a firepit and sausages and lots of lights and candles in the garden, have done it for years. For my 50th a couple of years ago, loads of people wanted to plan something exciting but I knew it would fall apart so I said no. They were all disappointed but I thought 'Fuck em' - it's MY birthday and I do what I want, and what I will enjoy.

Make your own plans for next year and have a lovely time. Don't give anyone else the opportunity to let you down.

Glad you had a good night with your brother :) x

EverSoFarAway · 15/12/2013 08:26

Happy Birthday Forty Hope your head isn't too sore this morning, glad to see you had a good night after all.

TheWanderingUterus · 15/12/2013 10:12

Happy birthday Forty and Mummybookworm.

ProfPlumSpeaking · 15/12/2013 10:17

Happy Birthday! xx

ipswichwitch · 15/12/2013 10:20

Happy birthday
Glad you had a fab time after all (Yaay for your brother). Just had DS2 on Friday and after reading this I will always make an extra special effort to celebrate his birthday - I never want him to feel like nobody cares.

Millenniumbug1 · 15/12/2013 10:44

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Bettercallsaul1 · 15/12/2013 11:12

Happy Birthday, FortyDoors!

Really glad to hear you had a birthday celebration after all! All' s well that that ends well!

PS, hope you don't have too much of a hang-over!

RoseRedder · 15/12/2013 18:48

Happy Birthday

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 15/12/2013 18:53

Awwwww thanks all.

OP posts:

BeerTricksPotter · 15/12/2013 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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