Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to share our birth photos

54 replies

caitlinsurrey · 13/12/2013 13:03

AIBU for not wanting to share our birth photos.

I am going into hospital on Tuesday 17th for my second c section. Last time MIL wanted ALL our photos that were taken during surgery, this time will be the same no doubt. I told DH last time I didn't want anyone to have them as they are private to me and I don't really want copies made by all his family being shared with every tom dick and harry they know- really when I'm not at my finest - on the bloody operating table for god sakes i feel like its a massive invasion of my privacy. But he gave them to her anyway because he didn't want to upset her.

Cant really say we didn't take any this time because thats blatantly a lie. AIBU for not wanting to share these intimate snaps with the world??

OP posts:
ziggiestardust · 13/12/2013 13:04

YANBU. Absolutely not.

Angry At your husband for going against your wishes. What did you do when you found out? Was he sorry?

Original poster
caitlinsurrey · 13/12/2013 13:04

Should also put that DH doesn't see what my problem is.

OP posts:
ziggiestardust · 13/12/2013 13:05

Well if he can't see what the problem is, and he can't be trusted to keep them private, then I would advise the midwives and staff that you do not want any camera equipment in the operating theatre.

Bakerof3pudsxx · 13/12/2013 13:06

Take pictures of your oh when he is not at his best and share those around your friends and family see how he feels

TallGiraffe · 13/12/2013 13:07

Why would it be a lie?! There are no photos of me during my section. Just as there are none of me during any of my previous surgeries. We were too busy having a baby to bother with a camera!

greenfolder · 13/12/2013 13:07

no, yanbu - he probably got caught up/caught out by the excitement last time.

if i were you, I would suggest he gets someone to take a shot of him and baby, and send her that.

CranberrySaucyJack · 13/12/2013 13:07

YANBU!

This thread must be the very definition of oversharing. Just be glad you're not having a vaginal birth Wink

squoosh · 13/12/2013 13:07

Is nothing sacred??

Clearly not.

I wouldn't make up an excuse I would give a clear and simple 'NO, they're private'.

Is he a man or a mouse?

Original poster
caitlinsurrey · 13/12/2013 13:08

I was so busy being a new mum i didn't make a fuss last time. I feel bad because he wants to share them because he's a proud dad etc but I just feel like with Facebook, mobiles etc etc we share so much with the world this is just one little bit of my life I wanted to keep to me.

OP posts:
TallGiraffe · 13/12/2013 13:09

Ah x-post. If your husband disagrees say that you want him focused on the baby, not fumbling with a camera.

ziggiestardust · 13/12/2013 13:10

I agree OP. I'd just say that if he really can't keep them to himself, then you don't want any taken in the first place, and you'll be advising the medical staff of that fact. That is something they will enforce.

fuzzywuzzy · 13/12/2013 13:11

Tell him you're fine with sharing the photos, so long as he strips naked and is in every single shot with you.

LouiseAderyn · 13/12/2013 13:11

YANBU

If my husband wouldn't respect my wishes in this, I wouldn't let him in the delivery room to take pics in the first place!

Ask him if he'd like photos of himself having a vasectomy shared with your mum!

Original poster
caitlinsurrey · 13/12/2013 13:12

Thanks Fuzzy if only that would work Xmas Smile

OP posts:
gleekster · 13/12/2013 13:34

OP if you can't trust him not to do this then just don't have him in the theatre/delivery room with you.
He doesn't sound very considerate of your feelings. Is he always this keen to oblige mummy and this happy to upset you? Time to stand up for yourself and mean it.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 13/12/2013 13:52

Can you get the Dr/midwife to tell him he can't bring his 'phone/camera into the operating theatre? Or that he's only allowed to photograph the new baby, not you or any part of the procedure?

I feel your pain, had a c-section 2 months back and I do not look my best in the pics in the recovery room - who knows how I'd have looked strapped down to the opening table...

Hope it all goes well for you OP.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 13/12/2013 13:52

Operating

Secretlypregnant · 13/12/2013 13:55

What is your relationship like with MIL? I think I would be inclined to talk to her directly - pre-empt any 'begging' on her part by explaining how you feel. And do it before the event, so she knows in advance what the score is.

Ragwort · 13/12/2013 13:56

I have never even heard of anyone taking photos during a CS - is nothing sacred these days Hmm.

jellybeans · 13/12/2013 13:58

YANBU. My MiL showed pics to all on sundry. I looked half dead.

babybearsmummy · 13/12/2013 14:02

YANBU, just put your foot down and say no. You could always hide the photos/ camera.

At least they're not like my mil and fil. All through my pregnancy they had it in their heads we'd call them when I went into labour so they could come to the hospital. Then they started saying they wanted to be in the room. I got so upset/ hormonal about it, that hubby promised not to call them until we were home and had had a sleep, shower and were all fed. It was lovely! Even if it did feel like we were sneaking off and hiding!

Balistapus · 13/12/2013 14:23

YANBU i have this issue with my mother. She never respects my boundaries, tells peolple private things I don't want sharing and emails photos to all and sundry.

Because of this, when I had a c section I told all visiting family members that they were not allowed to bring cameras to the hospital. We took a few pictutes ourselves and then emailed a couple of the baby a couple of weeks after the birth.

Put your foot down, be clear. It's your privacy and you don't have to justify it to anyone.

Scrounger · 13/12/2013 14:30

I can't believe he shared the pictures, there are clear boundaries and this is one of them. I've had 2 CSs in different hospitals and there was never a suggestion of taking a camera in. The first hospital forbid it, you could say that to your MIL.

I don't have any suggestions to add to those already suggested, love the idea of your DH naked in each shot, apart from blunt force trauma with a frying pan if he does it again. Is he normally so compliant with his mother?

Original poster
caitlinsurrey · 13/12/2013 15:36

Thanks, I think this time I will just have to be a bitch and stand up for myself lol.

OP posts:
Balistapus · 13/12/2013 15:45

You're not being a bitch to not want people to take photos of you during major surgery and then show them to whoever they like.

Swipe left for the next trending thread