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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be over the moon with DP's presents?

40 replies

fraggleland · 13/12/2013 12:55

I have been with DP for almost 2 yrs.

He has been unemployed the whole time we have been together.Due to this I have never received a present from him.

He has had to go abroad to work, has been away almost 2 months.

I was very excited when he told me he was sending a box of gifts to me!

I have taken delivery of the parcel today.
It contains
2 boxes of chocolates.
2 packets of biscuits.
A mini head massager.
A plastic globe lamp that changes colour.
A fridge thermometer.

I have thanked him.It's made me feel very sad.

I feel like an ungrateful bitch, and even had a little cry.

AIBU to not feel very thankful and to be questioning what this says about our relationship?

OP posts:
MrsFlintLockwood · 13/12/2013 13:06

That's a bizarre set of gifts. Call me cynical but you don't think he got them free do you?!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/12/2013 13:09

I agree they sound like freebies, what an arse!

What are his good points?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/12/2013 13:11

Perhaps, as he presumably hasn't had money to spend for two years, he got carried away buying 'stuff', thinking that volume would be a good thing and not thinking about what you would actually like.

Talk to him when he's back and in the meantime, decide whether he's being stingy or just clueless. The latter can be educated, the former not.

Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 13:15

I think he bought them... He has never shown signs of being stingy, but then he's never had any money before.
Maybe just clueless?

OP posts:
Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 13:23

I just wonder what was going through his mind when he bought the fridge thermometer...?

OP posts:
JollySantersSelectionBox · 13/12/2013 13:24

Is he somewhere with limited shopping facilities op?

Golddigger · 13/12/2013 13:26

It sounds like he tried quite hard to me.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/12/2013 13:27

I've be happy to be receiving a box of gifts!

Maybe I'm just easily pleased..... Confused

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/12/2013 13:28

I'd obviously, not I've.

ThreeGoMad · 13/12/2013 13:30

Most of that sounds ok if uninspired. Thermometer is weird.

Bit odd that he hasn't given you anything in two years. Presents don't have to be expensive.

How're things otherwise?

FlashDrive · 13/12/2013 13:55

Whats wrong with them Confused

Not the most exciting gifts granted but not awful

Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 13:57

I know I sound ungrateful!
He is usually kind and thoughtful, and I suppose I expected him to send me something I might like.
I low carb, too, so he knows that I don't eat chocolate/biscuits...
He is staying in a small town, so perhaps the shopping is very limited.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 13/12/2013 14:00

They're not amazing but there's nothing wrong with them. Nothing to be upset about. It's nice that he's sent you stuff.

lilsupersparks · 13/12/2013 14:05

They aren't that bad. At the risk of this turning into a bad gifts thread, a member of my family once got me some
Supermarket basics clothes pegs. I guess the fridge thermometer is of a similar ilk :-/

firesidechat · 13/12/2013 14:07

You really don't sound ungrateful OP.

I've rarely come across such ill thought through, random gifts - 2 packets of biscuits, not 1, 2! I would cry too and I'm not at all money grabbing or greedy. Presents don't have to cost a bomb and a bit of extra thought is free. Poor you.

Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 14:12

Maybe I am missing something.
What use is a fridge thermometer? Is it not obvious if the fridge is not cold enough? Do people use them? I don't think I know anyone who has one.
The plastic globe light would be nice in an 8 yr old girls bedroom, but would look out of place in my house, plus I don't have room for it.
A head massager, ok, I can see why he may have thought that may be a good idea...

OP posts:
firesidechat · 13/12/2013 14:13

Just asked my daughter what she would make of your presents.

Apparently it would make her think "do you know me at all?"

nitrox · 13/12/2013 14:13

Wow, I'd be upset too.. especially as you can't eat them!

Sounds like he bought you stuff he likes.

Maybe a small chat would be in order and set up an Amazon wishlist if he really can't be trusted with choosing appropriate gifts.

Have you sent him anything>?

Bekindtoyourknees · 13/12/2013 14:14

Oh OP, this did make me chuckle...did he wrap them? I'm actually a bit Envy at the fridge thermometer though. Sorry you got such crappy presents (apart from the fridge thermometer)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 13/12/2013 14:18

That sounds a lot like the sort of thing my DH would get for me. We've been married for 26 years too.
He is hopeless at shopping, not mean he just gets befuddled by the choice sometimes.
The fridge thermometer is a bit random though.
Is your BF still abroad? maybe he got a selection of the specialities of the region and the shop threw in some unsalable non perishables too.

Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 14:18

Thank you Fireside.

I wouldn't have wanted anything expensive at all. For example, for his birthday present last year I got some nice photos printed out of his family and son and framed them nicely. Didn't cost much, but he was delighted with them.

I thought he may have put a little more thought into it.

OP posts:
Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 14:20

They were beautifully wrapped, bekind!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
fraggleland · 13/12/2013 14:25

Bekind, I will happily send you the fridge thermometer!!

Fireside! That is exactly how I feel. I thought he really knew me, what I'd like. He lived with me before he went away so he knows the kind of thing I like. It's made me think that he doesn't really know me at all.

Kreecher, do you have to tell your DH what to get you, then?

OP posts:
PumpkinPositive · 13/12/2013 14:28

I'd be thrilled with the head massager. Have you tried it yet?

Golddigger · 13/12/2013 14:29

See, I think some women would be somewhat happy with those gifts and some wouldnt. [though after a while you may want to teach them[yes I know, frowned on in mumsnetland, but that is what some of us do in rl quite happily]]

Do you think that you two are compatible, as you seem to be in the group that is not happy.

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