to not be over the moon with DP's presents?

[fraggleland]

I have been with DP for almost 2 yrs.

He has been unemployed the whole time we have been together.Due to this I have never received a present from him.

He has had to go abroad to work, has been away almost 2 months.

I was very excited when he told me he was sending a box of gifts to me!

I have taken delivery of the parcel today.
It contains
2 boxes of chocolates.
2 packets of biscuits.
A mini head massager.
A plastic globe lamp that changes colour.
A fridge thermometer.

I have thanked him.It's made me feel very sad.

I feel like an ungrateful bitch, and even had a little cry.

AIBU to not feel very thankful and to be questioning what this says about our relationship?

Nitrox, no, I haven't sent him anything whilst he's been away, apart from his birthday present, which was mainly food he misses!
I have been supporting us over the summer as he had to move in with me, and I'm a bit skint now.

He sounds like my DH. He is spectacularly bad at buying presents. I think the most disappointing year was when he handed over a small box. I thought it was jewellery, but it was a model Jaguar car - the one we travelled to the church on our wedding day, so chosen for sentimental reasons but still!

Its not that he doesn't love me, or that he doesn't know me well. He just lacks in confidence and creativity when buying gifts.

Last year he bought a gorgeous silk scarf and necklace, so he is getting better. There is hope for you yet.

What is he like otherwise? Do you have the feeling that he listens to you, that he values you?

I thought we were compatible, Gold, but not so sure now.I have never been very assertive and don't think I could tell him what I want, admittedly it's silly because unless I tell him, I could end up with this every Xmas and Birthday. I will try the head massager....!!

Don't write him off just yet though, as I hear that some people (men and women) are bad at present buying. If he's generally a lovely man, then he may just need a bit of extra help in the present buying department or just accept that he has other strengths.

In our family we do tend to let each other know what we want because it saves wasting money on getting the wrong thing. After so many years my husband usually gets it spot on and I'm easy to please. Give me a bath bomb and I'm happy. On the other hand I quite often give him the wrong thing because he is so difficult to buy for. Present buying is mine field.

My DH is going to be away for Christmas too. He's been away for 12 weeks, already. He kept asking what I wanted for Christmas before he went, of course I had no idea. To avoid some random box of presents being sent, we are doing Christmas when he gets back. That isn't to say I haven't sent random, jokey presents to him though!

YANBU to be a bit disappointed.

MmeCinq, I do feel he listens to me, like I said earlier he is actually very kind and thoughtful, so I think that's why I expected more from him!!
He is coming back for a week soon, so maybe he will take me for a nice dinner, then.

Dh is not the best present buyer, and neither am I so I'd really not concern myself with it unless it's a sign of something larger, sounds like he does have limited shopping facilities and he made an effort to do this. I do think you have to give more direct hints for Christmas etc perhaps

The list of things that I've bought for my husband and he's never used are as follows:

Expensive key ring - too heavy and bulky to put in his pocket apparently.

Paul Smith socks - too thick

Bottle of port to go with chocolate - still unopened in the larder from last year.

Panettone - he loves this. I ate it in the end.

Boxers - wrong sort.

There are many more, but can't remember them all off hand.

Is a fridge themometre so you can see the fridge temp perhaps....i know in cafes etc you have to check the temp and note it.
Dunno why you need one though.Sounds like stuff my aunt fetches from homr but its because theres nothing there so the gifts are random but the thoughts there that she fetches us something.
Tb truthfully honest yes i would be upset if my oh sent me that but thrn if he sounded happy and proud that he sent it he obviously sent it with love

Thanks, all of you. I was probably reading far too much into the gifts. My first reaction was of shock that he could have got it so spectacularly wrong.
It seems a few of you have Dps who, despite being lovely, are crap at present buying. Clearly my Dp suffers with the same affliction.

I am the crap present buyer around here. It's not that I don't know DP, but he often is eyeing something very specific and hinting more generally, so I'll think he was e.g. a curry cookbook, but he actually has a specific one in mind. Or I'll spend a fortune buying him lovely clothes he wouldn't buy himself, but actually he doesn't care, he wants attachments for the Kitchenaid so that he can make his own pasta. Though all my friends think I'm super-generous buying the clothes and think the kitchen stuff he actually wants is like a man buying his wife a hoover

So nowadays he gives me details of stuff he's been eyeing that he can't / won't buy himself and I select some bits and add a few things of my own.

He's gone for a few things to relax you/for you to enjoy, something a bit quirky to make you smile even if it didn't and something very practical. I know I'm in the minority but I think it's a sweet combination. You don't sound ungrateful btw. It's nice to get things we wanted or hadn't even realised we wanted. The thought that counts.

I think he has either read an article about gift hampers or has heard a colleague talking about them because it's close to a Christmas and got a little carried away with himself. It started off as a good idea in his head and went totally pear shaped in practice!
I really wouldn't be questioning my relationship with him over this if everything else if ok, his general bad gift buying yes! but only that.
On you birthday gently point him in the direction of an Amazon wish list