Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people really need to stop using the term OCD so lightly?

58 replies

Cookethenook · 13/12/2013 10:32

It is such a bugbear of mine.

'Cups need to go next to the glasses in the dishwasher. LOL's! I'm so OCD!'

I hear it said a lot, especially on Mumsnet. Of all the things that MN get offended about, why on earth is this not one of them?

A friend of the family suffered from OCD for two years. She couldn't walk from one end of the living room to another without screaming and crying because she just couldn't control her compulsions. She had to drop out of school, lost friends and basically lost two years of her life. It was devastating for her family to watch. Thank goodness she is now recovering.

It is an utterly crippling disorder and the people suffering from it deserve for it to be treated with the upmost seriousness.

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 13/12/2013 10:38

There are varying degrees of it. It comes under the autism umbrella, which as you know is a whole spectrum. Most people if you look closely have little pecadillos that would register on a spectrum of some sorts. just because someone doesnt present their symptoms how you perceive the condition to manifest its self, that doesnt mean the person doesnt exhibit some of the traits.

pregnantpause · 13/12/2013 12:09

Yanbu- there was a show on this with the comedian John something.

A colleague where I work really suffers with ocd, he manages but it's noticeable. Then one of the team refers to himself as a bit ocd because he hangs the washing out a particular way. It makes what can be an awful condition trivial. It's not. People do the same with colds- they have flu, headaches, they have a migraine, you don't -stop exaggerating.

TalkieToaster · 13/12/2013 12:12

Completely agree, OP. It's become a sort of umbrella term for rules or behaviour that someone has that might be seen as slightly odd or embarrassing.

It reminds me of when 'schizo' was widely in use to mean 'out of control'. It's horrible and it diminishes the experiences of people who have a genuine diagnosis of OCD.

shouldnthavesaid · 13/12/2013 12:13

True but it's not always visible. I have OCD and mainly suffer with compulsions that exist only in my thoughts - eg I chant or pray in my mind as a ritual. Can't count the amount of people who say I don't suffer because I'm not washing my hands. Just because it's not visible, doesn't mean it's not there.

ephemeralfairy · 13/12/2013 12:24

Totally agree. I think it's indicative of how far we as a society have to go in recognising the impact and gravity of MH problems. I have a friend who wouldn't dream of making a sexist or racist joke but recently told a joke about schizophrenia without turning a hair. To be fair when I pulled her up on it she was mortified, but I think it's significant that she didn't autumatically think it would be offensive in the way that a racist/sexist/homophobic joke would be.

lynniep · 13/12/2013 12:28

TBH I've not heard someone using it lightly (or seen it on the forum) but I get that it would be used in that way. My husband suffers from it and although it is 'minor' it impacts us all. Its not that funny in real life because even the small things cause friction in the family.

He is uber-sensitive about it at the moment and accused me of making fun of him the other day for not doing as he asked (in this instance - one of his compulsions is that the kettle must have extra water direct from the tap in before it is boiled - even if I just boiled it 2 minutes earlier)

I refused because I have read that it reinforces the compulsion if you agree to do something that facilitiates another persons OCD. Makes sense to me and I explained that but he is interpreting my refusal as taking the p*ss. I'm not.

He refused to drink the tea I made him the other day because I used the same water which I used to fill the hot water bottle (not from the hwb - from the kettle!) I was unaware of that particular rule at the time.
He also gets really cross when I turn the TV off 'at source' rather than using the remote (swipe 3 times to clean before using) because it will 'break the TV after 1000 uses'. These are just a couple of examples.

Little things like this sound funny, but I'm constantly treading on eggshells. So no, I wouldn't use it lightly in that way.

ephemeralfairy · 13/12/2013 12:28

Also I was my hands constantly to the point that they are cracked and bleeding but this is triggered by my emetophobia. I wouldn't class myself as having OCD as I don't have any other compulsive behaviours. A good friend of mine suffers badly with it and it really pisses her off to see it trivialised on a bloody meme on Facebook.

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 12:29

Yanbu. I also dislike the spectrum explanation being trotted out as an excuse for people describing a quirk as a serious illness. If she wants her cups next to her glasses because that's how she wants it, it's a quirk. Nothing at all to do with OCD. If she wants her cups next to her glasses because she will experience anxiety or obsessive thoughts or the fact they aren't next to each other will impact her life in some way then she might have OCD.

As an aside, I hate people who describe themselves as being OCD. You're Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Okay then!

LittleMissGerardButlersBaubles · 13/12/2013 12:33

YANBU, it really annoys me too.

I have OCD and I know there is a scale, and everyone can have traits, but people seem to think its funny to make a joke of it.

Just because you like all your cups in a certain order or whatever doesn't mean you have OCD.

I have suffered with it every day for over twenty years, and its no joking matter believe me, it affects me all the time and its exhausting.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/12/2013 12:36

YY - and to absolutely stop inserting mild adjectives before 'OCD'. 'Slightly OCD' irritates me.

Drifting off point slightly but I feel the same about posters who put things like 'AIBU to be mildly furious...'. It just looks ridiculous.

mrsjay · 13/12/2013 12:47

yanbu I used to say things like that though oh i am a bit ocd about X YZ i didnt mean it to hurt anybody , I also watched that programme with Jon Richards ( i think is his name) and he was just anal and things annoyed him the people with real OCD were in turmoil and it was heartbreaking watching them, I have since stopped saying i am a little ocd about anything.

IceBeing · 13/12/2013 12:48

yanbu.

It IS a spectrum, a think you can be 'a bit OCD' susceptible, but most people who actually say that aren;t actually sufferers.

Hermione123 · 13/12/2013 12:49

Yeah I do hate it when people describe themselves as a littl bit OCD...if you like a clean house, that doesn't mean you have OCD, rituals generally aren't helpful to the extreme that someone with any kind of serious OCD has.

ProfondoRosso · 13/12/2013 12:50

Yes they do.

I try to be tolerant and realise people don't mean any harm, but I'm biting my tongue to stop myself asking if they've been referred for therapy or if they have meds that are helping. Just so they see it's a real, medical condition, not a whim.

I know folk don't mean any harm, but when you suffer with any mental illness, in a way that can totally blight your life and make you feel suicidal, you don't appreciate people joking or making light of it.

Hunter11 · 13/12/2013 13:00

YANBU.

My brother has OCD to the point where he had to leave his job as his OCD was taking over and making it extremely difficult to do his job properly. He ended up in a deep depression for many years but thankfully has come out the other side with therapy and medication. But it's something that will always affect him.

So it winds me up when people say, "Oh I hate when my clothes aren't folded properly. I'm so OCD". My friend said the other day about something getting to her OCD. It was something trivial at work. She does not have OCD at all. She's quite confrontational so I didn't pull her up on it but I stayed silent. I think some people just don't really understand OCD. When I've mentioned to people that my brother has it, the first thing they always say is, "Does he wash his hand a lot then? Is he a clean freak?" when actually my brother wouldn't so much as touch polish for fear of it touching his skin and he wouldn't be able to cope with chemicals on his skin. I think people just need educating about it.

mrsjay · 13/12/2013 13:02

TBH i really didnt fully understand the extent of the illness until ch4 ran programmes on OCD this year and then I realised how awful it can be for people

Original poster
Cookethenook · 13/12/2013 13:03

I acknowledge there is a spectrum. Obviously, if someone does have OCD and they choose to share that as a way of explaining their anxieties and compulsions, thats totally fine. My problem is with people using it to describe their perfectionisms or quirks. Basically brushing it off as funny or showing off.

shouldnthavesaid that must be incredibly frustrating for people not to believe you. I'm sorry. There needs to be much more awareness of the disorder imo.

OP posts:
PeggyCarter · 13/12/2013 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou · 13/12/2013 13:11

Yanbu
I hear it in rl too.

RogueRebel · 13/12/2013 13:30

YANBU it seems to be the "in" thing now everyone seems to have OCD.
I was told I had it by a colleague in work because I like to have a tidy cash drawer (queens head up and all at the same end)
I was tidying up and he said "oh your so OCD.
No actually I'm not because I can walk away when I finish and not give it a single thought.
A friend also uses it at any chance she can.
OCD is a mental illness that sufferers can't control, your just being a Dick.

Tiptops · 13/12/2013 14:49

Bohemian OCD does not fall under the autism spectrum! They are two separate illnesses.

OP YANBU there is no 'spectrum'. Liking things a certain way is simply a preference. OCD is a devastating illness and so much more complex than that. The anxiety and stress is totally exhausting and debilitating.

MelanieRavenswood · 13/12/2013 14:58

YANBU. I don't hear schizo much anymore, thankfully - that's an awful one too. My own bugbear is the joking about Tourette 's. It's very widespread and represents a total misunderstanding of what the condition actually is.

TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 13/12/2013 14:58

You are definitely NBU!

There was a good campaign on Twitter the other day - #thatsOCD - showing what the reality of OCD is.

What someone said earlier on about OCD being under Autism is absolutely NOT the case.

The thing about OCD is the anxiety that it causes, as well as the time that it takes up. It's a really horrible illness that ruins lives - very different to liking your mugs to be straight!

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 14:59

tiptops, there is a spectrum. One person diagnosed with OCD may be able to live a considerably normal life. Another may be housebound. Another might fit somewhere in the middle.

custardo · 13/12/2013 15:02

ive done a thread about this before

a lot of people see this as a badge of honour, 'oh i clean so much i am so ocd' seems to = look at me, as a woman i am so super i can clean so well i make jopkes about being ocd

Lie its the height of glory, want or need to clean all the fucking time

fill yer boots love, am off to mumsnet and tbh, if no one washes the dishes - i can't tell you how much i dont give a shit

can i have honourary badge of anti OCD?