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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people really need to stop using the term OCD so lightly?

58 replies

Cookethenook · 13/12/2013 10:32

It is such a bugbear of mine.

'Cups need to go next to the glasses in the dishwasher. LOL's! I'm so OCD!'

I hear it said a lot, especially on Mumsnet. Of all the things that MN get offended about, why on earth is this not one of them?

A friend of the family suffered from OCD for two years. She couldn't walk from one end of the living room to another without screaming and crying because she just couldn't control her compulsions. She had to drop out of school, lost friends and basically lost two years of her life. It was devastating for her family to watch. Thank goodness she is now recovering.

It is an utterly crippling disorder and the people suffering from it deserve for it to be treated with the upmost seriousness.

OP posts:
sutekidane · 13/12/2013 15:04

custardo, that highlights the warped idea that OCD is all about cleanliness. You can have a filthy house and still have OCD. So your badge of anti OCD is bollocks really.

custardo · 13/12/2013 15:23

yes, sutekidane, glad you agree it does highlight the fact that lots of people who clearly do not have a disorder use this term as an honorary badge of how well they can clean, without having the foggiest what this really is. glad you understood the context.

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 15:31

I assume that's meant to be sarcasm but it's almost as hard to understand as your previous post which I assume you're attempting to say I've misunderstood.

lynniep · 13/12/2013 15:32

I agree, it does highlight it. My DH for instance has clean issues, but they aren't part of the OCD - he just likes to use a lot of bleach when he decides he's going to do a blitz. The rest of the time he's as filthy as the rest of us ;)
OCD is so much part of the individual -it can often manifest as cleanliness issues, but thats only what the observer sees.
DH is mostly a counter (3rd magazine on the shelf, 3 swipes of the remote etc) and when he is stressed, new compulsions pop up (like the ones I mentioned earlier w.r.t the kettle. Those are new)

ElenorRigby · 13/12/2013 15:43

YANBU

In the past I had a severe anxiety disorder. I did group work with people with all sorts of anxiety related problems.

It was only after listening to OCD sufferer-ors in the group did I get how debilitating and horrendous OCD is.

CoffeeTea103 · 13/12/2013 15:45

Yanbu, I hear it all the time, people saying I'm so OCD about this or that, but really mean it as a joke.
Another term which is too loosely used is depressed.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 13/12/2013 15:46

Yanbu, it irks me in the same way we people say "we're all on the autism spectrum really" erm no we're not. You may have a trait commonly associated with autism but that doesn't put you on the spectrum.

It isn't uncommon for someone with autism to ALSO have OCD tendencies but they are not part of the same condition.

TruthSweet · 13/12/2013 15:57

The thread I read directly after this one had someone claiming they were OCD because the kept a spare toilet roll in the bathroom Hmm

It winds me up as people didn't realise that so much of OCD is internal and while some may clean/tidy/organise its not an essential part of the diagnosis. The psychologist didn't ask to check my kitchen drawers or if my DVD collection was suitably archived before I was diagnosed. I think the hundreds of intrusive thoughts around my DD dying in horrible accidents and the obsessions around her pushchair/highchair/car seat harnesses were what cinched it.

Original poster
Cookethenook · 13/12/2013 16:27

truthsweet that post was the exact one that made me finally start this thread!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2013 16:32

Agree op and ive started threads about this before. Being (pretend) ocd is seen as something to boast about

Mintyy · 13/12/2013 16:34

Yanbu, I don't think it is offensive as such, but it trivialises a very serious illness. Chances are, if you had said something on the thread where it was misused today, you would have had your head bitten off.

TruthSweet · 13/12/2013 16:39

Now if the post had said something along the lines of 'I always keep a spare roll or 10 in the bathroom and I check several times a day that it is still there. I have intrusive thoughts about family not being able to wipe properly and becoming ill from this and dying from kidney failure which would be my fault as it's my responsibility to look after them' (catastrophising and being responsible for everything that goes wrong, real or imagined, is a major component of my OCD) then I'd be okay with it Wink

Bunnyjo · 13/12/2013 16:55

OP, YANBU. My DF suffers from OCD (alongside depression) and had to take early retirement after his symptoms flared up; he literally couldn't function - he was off work for a year and barely left his own home. It was awful to watch, my DM and I felt so helpless. Even now, with medication and his symptoms largely under control, he suffers from anxiety and certain things have to be done a certain way or it will exacerbate his symptoms.

I know I can have obsessive and compulsive tendencies (particularly when stressed), but I don't suffer from OCD.

Mental illness is still mocked by many in society and people trivialise it with statements like 'Oh, I am so OCD!' or 'Oh, I am so depressed' when in reality they are nothing of the sort. Most people would be aghast if people trivialised physiological illness, such as cancer etc., and rightly so. Which is why I cannot get my head round the fact that some people still think it's OK to trivialise mental illness.

BohemianGirl - it is a spectrum disorder, but it comes under the umbrella of anxiety disorders, not autism!

CaptainRex · 13/12/2013 17:00

As a diagnosed OCD suffer I would happily swap it with someone else who thought they were but arent.

Mine is related to my emetophobia too, but not only do my hands get cracked and bleed due to the handwashing, I mentally cant clean the house because Im scared from all the germs that may be there. I walk the long way round work to avoid touching a door handle near the nurses office in case someone ill has touched it.

My current counsellor has expressed how the thoughts going through my head must be exhausting as they are permanent, and hard to switch off, so I dont sleep properly, am always tired which makes my anxiety worse.

I am only just keeping on top oy my job, but I feel like a jenga tower, one block pulled out of the wrong place and my world will collapse.

Trendy fucking illness my arse! Here? Anyone want mine? Free to a crap home

IneedAwittierNickname · 13/12/2013 17:07

Yanbu op, and I've nearly started the same thread myself a few times.

In the last couple of weeks 2 friends have said "oh I'm totally ocd about it" when discussing their houses.

Actually both are what is commonly known as 'houseproud' so they have nice tidy houses, where everything has a place.

lolawasashowgirl · 13/12/2013 17:13

YANBU. I think it falls under the anxiety disorder spectrum.

Sallystyle · 13/12/2013 17:16

Yes!

As an OCD sufferer who has had it since I was 6 and go through hell and back I wish people would stop making fucking light of it.

You might be anal about certain things. The D stands for disorder! You can be anal and not have OCD.

This is why it is so hard to be taken seriously at times.

MurderOfGoths · 13/12/2013 17:18

YANBU, gets thrown about so lightly.

breatheslowly · 13/12/2013 18:12

YANBU - it is lazy to misuse "OCD".

I think that it would be reasonable to say "I can be a bit obsessive about the way I hang my clothes out to dry" or "If my wife loads the dishwasher, I feel compelled to check it and rearrange it". In those sentences you are using "obsessive" and "compelled" in their everyday sense, rather than combined as the medical term "OCD".

Sexykitten2005 · 13/12/2013 18:20

YANBU about people misusing the term BUT I am diagnosed OCD. For me it is a cleanliness of my surroundings problem. I would have to get up in the middle of the night and restack my dishwasher if it wasn't right. Believe me I've tried to go to bed after OH had loaded dishwasher but I lie awake all worrying. All my cushions have to be straight and everything in the right place, if its not I worry unti it's put right. I don't have to count stairs or wash my hands or flick the light switch on and off but my problem is very real even if it doesn't conform to most people's ideas of OCD. My boss also has OCD and for him it mean requiring everything to be lined up straight, his desk is a work of symmetrical art. I wish people would understand that OCD is a spectrum and some people's compulsions are not visiblely OCD

breatheslowly · 13/12/2013 18:26

But Sexykitten, would you say "I'm a bit OCD about my dishwasher" and giggle? I would guess not, because I assume genuinely having OCD isn't actually funny.

Eliza22 · 13/12/2013 18:27

I agree. YANBU. My son has high functioning autism and was diagnosed officially with additional co-morbid OCD, aged 10. His compulsions and self harming turned his (and our) world upside down. He's medicated now and it's a constant watching process to see when it kicks in again. It is a very real, very debilitating condition, and I think only diagnosed as such when the compulsions prevent the person from doing normal, day to day activities. My son's life stopped for 10 months and it seems rather ignorant to me when people say "I'm a bit OCD".

snowed · 13/12/2013 18:30

YANBU. It's incorrect and trivialises OCD.

KhoPeePee · 13/12/2013 18:34

YANBU I hate how casually it's used. My DSis had to leave her job as she couldn't cope with it and she was diagnosed as suffering from OCD. It's very serious and horrible and bit about just liking things to be tidy. Watch series two of Girls, that highlights what it can be like (and is also a great show btw!!)

Sexykitten2005 · 13/12/2013 18:36

No breathe I wouldn't I would rant, unload it all and start again from the beginning even it was just the last thing put in that was in the wrong place. Then I would wipe all the surfaces where I put the dirty things, wash the cloth up and hang it just right on the tap so it can drip dry. I'm a little hurt that instead of commenting on the original post in a reply to me someone felt it was necessary to start a whole new thread about how unreasonable I am to "lightly" use the term OCD. I don't use the term OCD as a fad, ive been this wat for 20 years and every relationship I have been in has broken up because of the way I behave. If I try to not do something I feel the need to do I have a melt down and start panicking and screaming at my current partner. He's very good to put up with me as he really doesn't understand it.