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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect married colleague to behave at work event?

45 replies

citruslemon · 13/12/2013 01:23

Out for drinks after training session. Married colleague won't shut up about new member of staff, ten years younger than her. Starts drinking too much, cleavage suddenly on show, pushing people out of way to talk to him, all over him while poor boy looks petrified. He leaves, she tells everyone how wonderful he is and wants to take him out for dinner :/ Senior management who were present were not impressed with her behaviour either! Why would you embarrass yourself in front of colleagues??

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 13/12/2013 01:26

If it werent for fuckwits who put a toyboy shag that will never happen above their professional standing then we would have nothing to gossip about.

For that reason only, YABU! :o

Straitjacket · 13/12/2013 01:28

Well no, she shouldn't behave like that in front of management but if I was a friend, I would be more concerned about why she was behaving that way. Maybe she isn't happy, something has happened and after a few too many, ended up acting out?

squeakytoy · 13/12/2013 03:02

"Maybe she isn't happy, something has happened and after a few too many, ended up acting out?"

Lol!!! If this post were about a man I bet my last cent that nobody would say that on here!!!

MrsBonkers · 13/12/2013 03:58

Drink problem?

Lavenderhoney · 13/12/2013 04:09

Drunk, poor lady.

I expect hr will be having a word, as its a work event. The company should hopefully be very kind and talk about it with her and ask if she needs support for alcohol or other issues.

I think the company have a duty of care, as her behaviour at a work event does affect her working life and performance and if she is under stress from work then she needs help to manage her workload.

Chottie · 13/12/2013 04:41

Way out of order - it sounds as if she has made a complete fool of herself. I wonder what triggered this off?

JeanSeberg · 13/12/2013 04:57

Well if she does have a problem, nice for her that you're bitching about her and taking the moral high ground.

Friendly support might be more appropriate.

BohemianGirl · 13/12/2013 06:08

Why would you embarrass yourself in front of colleagues??

Well I'm sure she didnt set out at 7pm thinking "I know, I'll make a complete twat of myself tonight and sexually harass some interns". Maybe she uses alcohol to cope in social situations and got utterly bladdered.

This morning I am mostly laughing my cock off at works party photos on line - the party I never attend which precludes me having a disciplinary the following morning by virtue of not dishing out a lot of drunken home truths to senior management. I await the stories behind the m Grin

AuntieStella · 13/12/2013 06:45

It was alcohol, not deliberate choice.

Serious career limiting move too. Or ought to be.

Unfortunately, quite a lot of old leches who quite openly pursue colleagues seem to get away with it.

BikeRunSki · 13/12/2013 06:55

She chose to drink though

Pollydingdonmerrilyonhigh · 13/12/2013 06:59

True, she did. And even if she was shitfaced she still knew what she was doing.

peasandlove · 13/12/2013 07:06

meh so what. It gave you all something to talk about.

JapaneseMargaret · 13/12/2013 07:10

Oh dear, cringing for her.

But yeah, what squeaky said. The sad fact is, there probably is an explanation for her hideously inappropriate behaviour. But if it were a man doing it, it would be much easier for everyone to laugh it off.

And it probably wouldn't even been seen as hideously inappropriate. More just a bit eye-rolly.

LittlePeaPod · 13/12/2013 07:22

Oh god. Christmas parties are a nightmare. I have worked in global coporate businesses for 17 years. Every year there are rumours about people's behaviour at Christmas parties (regardless of seniority or position in the business and whether or not they are married/have a DP and/or children).. Examples

  • So and so slept with each other (both married, not married, or married etc.)
  • so and so was all over so and so (male and female)
  • so and so was acting like a pervert trying it on with everyone
  • so and so was been an aggressive dick etc.
  • so and so told her/his boss what they think of the boss and company
-the lst goes on and on

People go to Christmas parties with no intention of making themselves look like twats but they drink too much and act on those little crushes/fantasies/flirts etc.

Their behaviour isn't necessarily anything to do with issues in their personal life. They just drink and behave like idiots and then feel/look like utter twats after...

Some people shouldn't drink at these events.

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 13/12/2013 07:26

How typical, at my old work it was the norm for the men to get shit faced and make a fool of themselves trying to chat up the young ones from the typing pool. A woman does it and everyone thinks she needs counselling and marched off to the nearest AA meeting.
I don't understand why at a works do you can't let your hair down a bit. How times have changed in the last 10 years.

Chivetalking · 13/12/2013 07:30

Isn't making a drunken tit of yourself the way of the working world from time immemorial?

Chippednailvarnish · 13/12/2013 07:31

Regardless of if it was a man of a woman behaving like this, I would still think they were a total idiot.

As for letting your hair down a bit, since when has get pissed and embarrassing yourself and your colleagues been seen as fun? Work socials should never be considered the same a night out with your friends.

fluffyraggies · 13/12/2013 07:34

Yes zombie i was thinking that. How about this:

''Married colleague won't shut up about new member of staff, ten years younger than him. Starts drinking too much, shirt undone, pushing people out of way to talk to her, all over her while poor girl looks petrified. She leaves, he tells everyone how wonderful she is and wants to take her out for dinner''

Poor drunk man anyone? Thought not.

LittlePeaPod · 13/12/2013 07:37

Regardless of whether its a man or woman in that situation. They both look like foolish twats.

Straitjacket · 13/12/2013 08:01

Well yes, I would think something was wrong if this was my friend who had been happily married for 10 years etc. Emphasis on the "friend", as I would know their background and whether it was the norm for them (and with my RL friends, it wouldn't be so yes I would be concerned whether female or male).

Vampyreof · 13/12/2013 10:10

People getting drunk and behaving stupidly? Nothing new - there's not always an underlying sinister reason...

Methe · 13/12/2013 10:14

We just had fight and people passing out at ours!

Cat98 · 13/12/2013 10:46

Surely there's some sort of free pass for embarrassing Xmas party behaviour?

Lavenderhoney · 13/12/2013 10:50

Yes, I would think poor bloke as well. Alcohol doesn't care what sex you are.

People don't get to a do and behave like that on purpose, they can't control their drinking and become unaware of what an arse they are making of themselves.

noseymcposey · 13/12/2013 11:03

Is it really such a big deal? She got drunk and made a twat of herself. She's not the first! perhaps she thought she was being amusing.... Who knows. Could have been a lot worse!