To expect married colleague to behave at work event?

[citruslemon]

Out for drinks after training session. Married colleague won't shut up about new member of staff, ten years younger than her. Starts drinking too much, cleavage suddenly on show, pushing people out of way to talk to him, all over him while poor boy looks petrified. He leaves, she tells everyone how wonderful he is and wants to take him out for dinner :/ Senior management who were present were not impressed with her behaviour either! Why would you embarrass yourself in front of colleagues??

Our christmas party is next weekend. I had better stick to cola.

People getting drunk and behaving stupidly? Nothing new - there's not always an underlying sinister reason...

Agree... Unless of course you are on MN then someone will find a sinister or ulterior reason other than some people drink too much and make compete fools of themselves and place their professional reputation and personal relationships risk....

This is normal Xmas party behaviour!

....Isn't it??

I went to my first work Christmas do recently. I naively thought that although people would have fun and let their hair down, they would still behave appropriately as we all had to work together the next day. Then the camera came out and one young woman in particular posed in a number of simulated sexual positions with male colleagues and a married male manager. It actually made me quite uncomfortable as another woman present because I didn't want people to think I was up for that sort of thing. I definitely felt old (I'm not actually that much older than her) and like I didn't fit in.

So YANBU to think people should behave at work events but that doesn't mean they will. Unless it's a pattern of behaviour for your colleague it's probably one drunken mistake rather than a drink problem and the mangers will have a word with her if they feel it merits attention.

*managers, not mangers, it's all this talk of Christmas lol.

The good thing about our Xmas events are that we have a team lunchtime meal, so back to work meaning little alcohol. Also there's a management hosted lunch event taking place in the workplace soon, so again little opportunity to be stupid.

Might be nice to have a night out, but we can arrange our own of we want.

"How typical, at my old work it was the norm for the men to get shit faced and make a fool of themselves trying to chat up the young ones from the typing pool. A woman does it and everyone thinks she needs counselling and marched off to the nearest AA meeting.
I don't understand why at a works do you can't let your hair down a bit. How times have changed in the last 10 years."

Well in another thread regarding similar behaviour from a man this week it was fairly unanimous that he should be suspended immediately, investigated and I think a few indicated they thought it could warrant sacking.

Embarrassing, always. But it's normal for someone to be drunk at the office Christmas party, isn't it?

Oh god, OP, you sound like the sober person at the party making notes on everybody else's behaviour to taunt them with later.

YABU to expect anything. She was drunk, she fucked up, her problem not yours. And her marriage is absolutely none of your business.

The worst thing bar none at any office party (or any party at all come to that) is the smug non-drinker hoiking up their judgey pants if anyone looks like they might be having fun.

I think you have to put colleagues in a taxi home when they start doing this.

Bogeyface. You are speaking sense.

The poor new boy looked petrified. She was bullying and causing him distress. That was not acceptable behaviour.

And he is perfectly entitled to make a complaint digerd, it will then be dealt with by the appropriate people. Unless the OP is this womans manager (or the new guys manager) then it is still none of her business.

And the OP said that senior management had seen and where not happy, so presumably they will have whatever conversations are appropriate.

I'm surprised so many people think sexually harassing a junior colleague in such a public and humiliating way is "fun" and just to be expected at a Christmas party.

I was at my Christmas party last night (still suffering for it today) and we all managed to have lots of laughs and get stupidly drunk without anybody behaving in a way that made someone else feel uncomfortable and worried.

This poor guy JUST STARTED at this job.

I wonder how brilliant he feels this morning after being singled out and pawed by a much older, married woman who has been at the company far longer than he?

And of course it's the OP's "business".

It happened right in front of her.

She's allowed to have opinions about things that she witnesses.

Lots of ways of handling situations like this - normally by telling said collegue that they are making a tit of themselves and it's time they went home. Or by making it very clear to the object of their attentions that collegue is drunk and ignore and enjoy the rest of the evening etc etc. Judging on here doesn't really come high on my list tbh. Maybe if you were married to her, you would have grounds for complaint.

Surely everybody should behave at a work event?