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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and Christmas Card

35 replies

Imwoodword · 12/12/2013 19:23

First AIBU, feeling brave! Genuinely don't know if I am or not.

I don't get on with my MIL (as ever!) for many reasons. She does try sometimes with me but in silly ways that rub me up the wrong way. She is an annoying person, this is what my DH calls her.

Today, received a bog standard Christmas card from her, ie one out of a packet not a "To my son" etc card. Inside, she has written:

To MrImwoodword, Imwoodword and Co

Instead of writing the names of our children (there are only 2, not as if it's hordes).

AIBU to be rather pissed off about this? My DH says its rude but don't know if he's just humouring me, and I don't know if my dislike for the woman is tainting my view.

Opinions please! Thanks

OP posts:
MimiSunshine · 12/12/2013 19:27

Inside the card? It is rude but more than that it's just weird.

Ignore and don't rise to the weirdness.

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/12/2013 19:28

Are the children her grandchildren?

ginmakesitallok · 12/12/2013 19:29

Wouldn't bother me, but my mum and I always exchange cards which read, to you and them from me, and to you from me and him and them

Noctilucent · 12/12/2013 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 12/12/2013 19:31

Meh, you don't like her so it's irritating to you. If you loved her to bits you would laugh and pass it off as quirkiness.

It's no big deal.

Beccadugs · 12/12/2013 19:32

How odd. Maybe she thought she was being "funky" or modern??

Spherical · 12/12/2013 19:33

Still, accept the card with good grace and ring her to thank her

Really? Do people phone up the sender of every Christmas card to thank them or just close family or..?

TidyDancer · 12/12/2013 19:34

And Co is not rude if it's just banter. I could see my MIL writing that but she and I do get on very well.

Unless she's deliberately rude to you or your DCs, I wouldn't think this is a bad thing.

magicbiscuits · 12/12/2013 19:36

It's probably her way of being cute. Don't rise to it...

Original poster
Imwoodword · 12/12/2013 19:37

Inside the card, yes. She is their grandmother. It then just reads "love mum and dad", again no personal message.

I wouldn't ever say anything to her about it, although I am tempted to sign the cards from my 2 DS from "& co"! Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Nora2012 · 12/12/2013 19:38

I think it's rude and odd, unless it's and inside joke which it obviously isn't. Like said above I think if it was some you liked you'd not really be fussed, but in this situation your probably reading all sorts into if. Try to ignore it!

ilovepowerhoop · 12/12/2013 19:41

I always send bog standard cards to everyone and have never bought them singly. A bit strange to write '&Co' though. At least she sent a card.

temporarilyjerry · 12/12/2013 19:44

My FIL does this ("family")
and also gets my name wrong, every year.

Chippednailvarnish · 12/12/2013 19:49

My ILS just sign their names, they don't even bother with writing who it's to...

SunshinemMum · 12/12/2013 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winkywinkola · 12/12/2013 19:52

"And co" is no big deal. It's not really that much of a crime.

The "love mum and dad" sign off is worse.

But who cares? It's a card.

LimeLeaafLizard · 12/12/2013 19:53

I think you're being a bit over sensitive to be honest. In the context of some of the odd things I've read about MILs on here, this really isn't a big deal.

And those cards that read 'Happy Christmas Son' etc - well personally I find them a bit naff and wouldn't send one... though I wouldn't mind at all if someone else did! Each to our own.

optimusic · 12/12/2013 19:54

I really don't see the problem with it. But then I do it myself sometimes.

What I do have a problem with is getting a card from my mum. Every bloody year she spells my name wrong. Not like I have a difficult name to spell. This year, she didn't sign it mum, she signed her name.

Fairylea · 12/12/2013 19:57

It's a bit odd but then I always wonder why people bother to send cards at all unless they are specially chosen ones with very personal messages.. I just don't bother to send any except to my mum and dad because otherwise I feel like I'm doing it just for the point of doing it rather than because I want to. I am scrooge.

Tapiocapearl · 12/12/2013 19:58

Total over reaction on your part

usualsuspect · 12/12/2013 20:01

Some people look for things their MILs do to get pissed off about.

I've never sent my grown up kids a 'special' Christmas card

The 'and co'wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Notmadeofrib · 12/12/2013 20:01

We had one from DFIL that had just been signed

eggbert and doris

Not even 'to MrNMOR and NMOR', not love from, no xxx

My FIL is great and I just thought, ha ha why did he bother! I don't take it personally

I'd never by a Dear Son etc card so for me there is no insult in that element either.

I don't even bother sending my family landfill cards but if you take the time and energy to add meaning to cards then it may seem off to you. Different folks, different strokes.

Diamondsareagirls · 12/12/2013 20:01

I am really surprised at how many people are saying yabu. Really rude IMO. Quite dismissive of your children/ her grandchildren.

Notmadeofrib · 12/12/2013 20:02

by?! BUY! ! ! Time for an early night

SanityClause · 12/12/2013 20:04

I think you're making something out of nothing, frankly.