MIL and Christmas Card

[Imwoodword]

First AIBU, feeling brave! Genuinely don't know if I am or not.

I don't get on with my MIL (as ever!) for many reasons. She does try sometimes with me but in silly ways that rub me up the wrong way. She is an annoying person, this is what my DH calls her.

Today, received a bog standard Christmas card from her, ie one out of a packet not a "To my son" etc card. Inside, she has written:

To MrImwoodword, Imwoodword and Co

Instead of writing the names of our children (there are only 2, not as if it's hordes).

AIBU to be rather pissed off about this? My DH says its rude but don't know if he's just humouring me, and I don't know if my dislike for the woman is tainting my view.

Opinions please!

It is odd, but not as odd as it could be. Every year, until she finally fell out with us for good, all birthday cards from my poisonous "grandmother" included a printed slip stating "a mass is being said for your soul at church name" and were signed from her house e.g "from no 92".

No name, no best wishes just the judgemental little catholic dig and the number of her house.

So, look on the bright side. It's bad, but it's not yet that bad.

What's wrong with sending a card from a packet. That's what we send to every family member. Every year - all the cards are exactly the same - no hierarchy of card importance here.

I don't think it's so bad; a bit odd to address her son as Mr name and you just by name. & Co is fine with me. Some of my friends send their cards from x, y and the "gang" especially if there are more than three children.

My MIL only ever signed her cards with her name, his name (when FIL was alive - now it's just her name) on the basis that they weren't my mum and dad but their actual names were technically correct. My mum signs her cards from mummy and daddy - he's not my daddy he's my step father; I'm 53, they've been married for 32 years and my father's dead and really irks me but life's too short and he's not a bad soul really. But, I only ever use his first name.

Families are odd you know - all of them - even my unit and your unit. There's nowt as queer as folk.

send them a card from you & co or from that lot at No. 57 Acacia St.

It doesn't matter.

If she behaves like a cow in real life, then it matters and stomp on her for behaving like an ill mannered witch.

Until that point, save your breath.

My DM always signed cards from 'us' as Daisy, 'Twatface' I may or may not be telling the truth here and girls.

Cards all came in to Daisy, Twatface -are you getting that I am not close to my dad? and girls.

I got cross that people, including my DM could not manage two names, both with 6 letters each!

Oh gods, do people really analyse greeting card provenance and wording to this level? If so, I must spend my whole life upsetting people

I am someone to whom cards are not really that important. I think it's the thought in sending them at all that counts and beyond that, I give very little weight to what I write and what is written to me.

This is one of the (many) areas in which people are simply different, and it really (imnvho) isn't ever worth making more out of it than that.

Ok, I accept I am being unreasonable. I think I'm overly sensitive as she does treat my kids as afterthoughts in real life, but to see it on paper riled me!

Thanks for the reality check all!

Mil and FIL generally address our cards etc to 'MrWm, Wm and Children' which I find rude and bizarre as we also only have two. Maybe we should introduce them.

I don't write inside the card who it's to after a rather epic fail where I had written the cards and dh put them in the envelopes without checking. We were getting calls for days to say we'd sent the wrong card and would we like it passed on.

It wouldn't bother me, I don't look to see how people have addressed us as a family, I have no idea who writes names and who doesn't.

"I'm overly sensitive as she does treat my kids as afterthoughts irl".

So that's the real issue, then, not what she does or doesn't write in cards?

Sorry to hear that, sounds grim.

The card could be a bit tongue in cheek. If she doesn't bother with the kids in RL that's more of a problem. Personally I think people getting worked up over cards have too much time on their hands - its really not that important.