Ds turns 1 next week, the last few months have been really hard as dp has been working nights and I have been studying so we have been juggling childcare between the 2 of us and consequently having very little family time.
Dp booked the day off work a couple of months ago, we made the plan to go into the city (a 20 min train ride) look at the christmas lights, get some lunch at a baby friendly cafe and then take ds to a kids museum, then come home ds will go to bed (around 5ish as it will be such a busy day) and then we will sit and look through the photos from ds's first year and have a glass of champagne.
We are having a family party for ds this weekend, pil live a long way away and have decided that rather than come down for the party they will come down to spend ds's actual birthday with us (there is no reason they can't come for the party they just don't fancy it which is fair enough) The trip is also to see their other 10 grandchildren and give them their christmas gifts so not just on ds's behalf. Dp said to his parents that we would love for them to celebrate ds's birthday with us, we will be eating luch at x cafe and then going to the kids museum, they are very welcome to join us for all the day or part of the day, it would be really nice for them to come along.
Pil have said they will not go into the city but they expect to hang out with us on ds's birthday at sil's house (where they stay when they visit) sil's house is not child proofed and ds is walking and seems to be a distruction whirlwind. I find myself following ds around catching the breakable things he pulls over and telling him no the entire time.
Dp has now decided that it is too much hassel to go into the city, ds won't remember anything anyway (I know he won't but I think he will enjoy the day even if he forgets it by the day after). Dp thinks we should change our plans because pil don't like our plans, previously dp was keen on the plans and that is why he booked the day off work.
I feel like I am expected to forgo my plans and preferences because pil will not just go along with the day that we already had planned.
I am not overly sentimental about ds's birth, I didn't expect a push present or anything like that but I am sure the day will bring back memories of ds's birth and first hours and I would like to mark the day in a special way rather than doing our normal routine, I really want to do something that feels like a treat.
Pil could come and have breakfast with us and see ds open his pressies but mil doesn't like socialising too early in the morning. They could also come and have dinner (pasta and pesto as it is ds's favorite meal) but ds is likely to be tired and not in the best humour.
Pil are not elderly, they are very active more so than me and dp so mobility isn't an issue. They will also be staying near us for a week so we will see them, they can see ds as much as they like so it's not like his birthday is the only chance for them to have time with ds.
AIBU to think that dp should not try to change our plans because his dp want to do things their way?
I'm not feeling well so i am possibly being very unreasonable, I was really looking forward to a special day of treats that ds will love and I feel hurt that my opinion is being disregarded.