To think that people should come up with their own gift ideas?

[nostress]

Happens every year that the family ask what do the kids/me/husband want for Christmas? I just think can they not think for themselves or at least come up with ideas and ask if suitable? Isn't that the point to be thoughtful and kind of show how much they know/understand/love you. At the minute it feels like a credit. Just received an email from FIL with a list of CDs he wants for xmas and also asking what we want. Matching budget etc. Really I could just go and buy myself the stuff and cut out the middle man. What also gets on my tits is that FIL also sends packages direct to me for wrapping. He only lives a mile away and is retired and is perfectly able to wrap. Last year he sent my gift to me (addressed to me not to my husband) I opened the box thinking it was something I bought but no it was my gift (that I had chosen). So basically he sent the gift to me to wrap myself for myself. Hes not the only one either.

My dad was asking what I wanted. So I said you know what I like why don't you choose it. He said "No, If you don't tell me what you want I wont get anything". Aka I cant be arsed to think about it just send me an email with a link and Ill buy that.

My kids have basically said they don't want to write lists as they like surprises and they don't want anything in particular. So I've basically got to choose gifts for the entire family from everyone.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH internet shopping fatigue... SORRY.

YABU. I hate these threads moaning about presents. Not everyone is very good at choosing gifts. They probably, quite rightly, dont want to waste their time and money buying something unwanted. A list of thing you like, as you have posted on here, might help them a lot.

If you don't want to offer suggestions for other people then just say you dont know what they'd like. You dont have to give suggestions for everyone else.

YABU we tend to do lists so people can see the sort of things we like and I know what my nieces and nephews are into. The only person who doesn't ask often used to get things that were much to young for the children.

YANBU. I hate lists. I start thinking about Xmas presents in June so I don't have to rush and I can get people things I think they'd like (without breaking the bank). It's not that hard to think of something, and if someone doesn't like their gift it's not the end of the world.

Xmas isn't about ordering things from people (besides which, to give a list implies a budget, which is rude).

I'd far rather have some really random things that I don't love than receive something is picked myself, which I could just buy for myself if I felt like it.

And don't get me started on people who don't wrap presents to send!

YANBU! I don't mind saying yes or no to ideas, but what I get sick of people who don't offer a budget and don't even attempt to think of anything.

I love making lists! Maybe cos I am a greedy bugger and there's usually loads of stuff I'd like but can't afford, specific toiletries, books, gadgets etc. so I make a massive list and then still get surprised cos I don't know what I'm getting off it. I do love complete surprises too, but when someone asks me what I'd like I just couldn't bring myself to say "oh I don't mind, anything" when really there's Loads of things I'd like!

I tend to ask people what they'd like. I don't need them to be too specific just a few ideas. I get sick of giving nieces and nephews presents that they only half unwrap as they realise halfway through it's something they're not interested in. DH and I also tend to get very random presents, unfortunately they go in a box never to see light of day. I feel it is so wasteful. Asking people to not buy us anything never works. I wish people would ask what we'd like.

It depends on the PEOPLE.

My brother and I tell each other what we'd like, because we acknowledge fully that to guess would just be both of us turning money into something that the other person valued less than that amount of money.

(we like each other fine but don't know each other very well)

People who I expect to KNOW me, I'd want them to pick something, because I'd trust them to pick something that I might not know that I wanted, but that I would like.

Hubby and his family are list writers, which is fine but dh has asked me for my list and is now moaning at me because he hates the fact that I won't have any surprises! Argh! He is angling for me to increase the pre-agreed budget, I think. Not going to happen though. He spoiled me for my 30th birthday and I refuse to get into debt at Christmas!

YABU and YANBU. Specific lists are a bit boring, but general interest items are great, and clueing them into what they already have.

I tell people (who ask!) what the DC are interested in at the moment, eg, grown out of Thomas the Tank, love Star Wars but have most of the characters, etc.

Then they can choose something based on that if they want to. It just helps them when looking, they don't feel lost before they even start.

Not everyone is in the fortunate position of really knowing the likes and dislikes of the people they are buying for.

I live 250 miles away from my family and visit them once a year. I have absolutely no idea what my 20 year old niece and 16 year old nephew like these days. I have to ask otherwise I will waste my money on something they hate or something they already have.

I think it is rather arrogant to assume that everyone buying for you knows you well enough - and the contents of your toiletry cabinet/make up bag/wardrobe/bookcase etc so that they buy you exactly the right gift.

Besides, some of us hate Christmas shopping.

Oh, I know, I will just stick a tenner in a card instead.

Gifts have been so much better and more suitable since lust writing. I know you hate it but it saves me no end of sorting through endless crap gifts. The kids even get something they would like - which is amazing!!

YANBU! I HATE THAT! Closely followed by the rage I feel when I comply with the family requests for a specific gift for each dc only to have it forgotten ignored on the big day. It makes me think why ask in the first place! Lost my rag last year, strangely no requests yet this year!

I wish SIL and BIL would ask us for ideas and not foist stuff on us.

We're not into pointless tat but somehow it's been assumed that we wish to participate in an annual tat exchange Christmas gift-giving.

To be fair tapioca, lust writing sounds a whole lot more fun!

It's not lists per se that I object to, it's just me being required to come up all the ideas for everyone. I also get very annoyed when I allocate a particular idea to the pil and then they ignore it so I think something off the dc list has been taken care of but it hasn't. And then there was the time mil refused to buy the set of teddy bear clothes dd2 had requested "because it wouldn't suit the bear"

I prefer lists- with those older than about 10 yrs it saves getting things they don't want. Your mistake is doing it for everyone. Just do one for you and get the rest to do their own, if too young to write one say that they will have to use their imagination.

I agree that the 'lust' writing seems much more fun.

I will always ask unless I have a good idea the person will want or use the thing I've chose. mostly because I hate wasting money on something that might end up at the school fair. but I always buy it myself, wrap it and take it round like any other gift even if they know what it is . my dad ended up buying ds main present off us to give to him but it wasn't so bad as it freed money up for some other things. I do think it's v lazy not to wrap a gift though unless there is sine reason behind it other than they don't want too

My mum always gets me something I ask for ( this year celtic sheepskin slippers!) and a surprise which is usually chocolate or perfume and sometimes money.

Our extended family ask what dd needs, and if I don't have any ideas they pick something ( though at 11 its become money more often than not!)

Vouchers are fine imo. It's lovely going into a book shop or clothes shop knowing that you can choose something you like.

For every person on here that likes lists from their loved ones, there will be another that doesn't. We are a list family and this year my sister, BIL, and nephew decided they couldn't think of anything which was IMPOSSIBLE. 20 years of receiving lists, and this year... no help. ARGH.

My PIL always give me a cheque which I am then expected to put into my bank and then give my three DSs a cheque or cash. I get really pissed off being their banker. Why can't they just send separate cheques for each? They only send a cheque or money for Christmas or birthdays and never bother phoning of speaking to the boys between times. They just aren't interested.

Lily my Ils are the same. The cheques are always made out DH who never goes to the bank. We are expected to choose and wrap presents from them and they still haven't sent anything yet. We have finished our shopping and now I have to fit in another expedition.

It is the same for birthdays - My DM always phones in advance and asks if there is anything in particular or asks if such-and-such is suitable. A phone call would not hurt.

I don't mind being asked for suggestions for the kids. I know what they already have/need/are into. We live a fair way away from family so they find it hard to keep up with the ever changing likes and dislikes.

My mum tends to ask for a few ideas and checks if we've already got something/kids will like it before buying. We also sometimes chip in all together for more expensive stuff - this year we've got DD2 One Direction tickets so we've all clubbed in together

MiL drives me slightly potty though, starts asking what the kids want around the beginning of the summer holidays, I provide some ideas, she rejects them all and asks for more ideas, which she then rejects and on and on this goes for 5 months.

She then buys them something totally random that they hate they're not all that keen on and ends up costing us a fortune to sort out - she's bought zorbing this year, on a Groupon deal, we'll have to travel bloody miles to the nearest place to do it and they're going to absolutely hate it. She'll get upset because despite their best intentions, the momentary wtf look that crosses their faces when they open it gives their true feelings away when she could have just bought a book or something. But hey, I should be grateful

IABU but I don't feel like being grateful. They never bother to call the boys or talk to them (unlike my parents who are brilliant). The only time they call is after a birthday to see if the cheque has arrived (sub-text - why haven't they called). Really winds me up. There are plenty of other things I could say but I shall keep my mouth shut!

I would much rather people ask - my DS has received so many generous presents over the years but quite honestly over 75% have just been totally unsuitable or really not to his taste (is he the only child on the universe who doesn't like Lego ) - yes, of course he knows he has to say thank you politely but then the gift goes straight to the charity shop. It is such a waste of peoples' time, energy and money. I would much rather people ask what is on his list; in fact I am happy to go and buy & wrap the presents for them. I hate wasting money on presents that aren't wanted.

I am at the age when I rarely exchange gifts which suits me absolutely fine .