To have an 8 day old baby and feel like this is hardest thing ever

[Hotmad]

I love her so much that I cannot put in to words how much that is! But with breast feeding round the clock and never sleeping more than 3 hours at any time... It's totally messing me up! I cry and get all emotional at times, not all say just at moments. I feel a bit useless cos I feel like I can do it at times, then I cuddle her and it does go away.... My partner supports me well but he's so nervous around baby that he finds it hard to step up to the plate and let me have any prolonged rest. I Breast feed all day and bottle at nite now to help me, is it ok to feel like this? It's hard to let go also, I don't want to be apart from her so when she sleeps I find it hard to sleep myself.

Those first few months days can be hellish. It does change. You WILL function as a person again

YY to Steam's point about night time BF helping hugely with milk production though, but if you're happy with bottle feeding at night, and I suits you, then do whatever you need that gets you through.

Cake. Lots of cake.

Yanbu at all - I struggled so badly with my first DC to begin with and even with the next two! I felt 'out of it' and emotional for the first couple of weeks. It's so normal and it does get better and you will feel normal again, I promise!!

(need another word for normal)

Just wanted to add... My baby is now 5.... and at school :(

Enjoy the tiny baby stage, it passes so quickly!

Would also recommend the book 'what mothers do' BUY IT NOW!!!!

Oh, OP, it is very, very difficult. I felt as if I was in a bad dream for weeks, wasn't able to breastfeed and developed a huge complex about failing my son, and kept gabbling about not being able to do it, and how my baby should be adopted by a proper mother. You sound as if you're doing fine. Do try to let your partner take his turn between feeds while you sleep, though. You need to replenish your resources, and he has to learn to be a father too.

Agree that Naomi Stadlen's What Mothers Do is a lovely, wise, soothing book, which may make you feel better about how attuned to your baby you are.

My son us a toddler now, and the apple of my eye.

windmill & thebody

My mother was terrified when I had dd. I'd never baby-sat, never changed a nappy, never even held a baby. The good news is that she's almost a teenager and I had another one as well. All alive and reasonably well.
Hang in there :)

You feel like this because you have been hit by a ten ton truck of ...... everything. It is extremely difficult. You MUST sit, rest, let partner do ALL house stuff. Have baths. Watch Telly. Eat loads. It will slowly ease up a bit.

I did fuck all other than feed the baby, eat and sleep for the first month or so with my 2.

Breastfeeding lying down neatly combined the two.

Low standards and just accept that it is tiring, it is tiring for everyone, but it gets easier.

Sorry to hear you have been struggling.

Having a newborn can be challenging, especially with your first. It is a shock to the system, this little person completely dependant on you.

As others have said, rest, allow others to help and try not to worry about housework says she who was pottering around the house the same day she arrived home from hospital.

Wow thank u all for all the amazing replies! It's so nice to hear that this is normal, so nice to know that I'm not useless and that a lot of new mums feel this way. Today I must admit I feel better again cos I had more of a decent sleep, I do think a lot of this must be the sleep deprivation. My daughter is so beautiful though, one look at her and it's always so worth all the blood sweat and tears!

Hotmad

aawww, of course you are not useless!
give her a big kiss from her Auntie Zing!

and sleep or the lack of it makes a huge difference to how you feel and how you think you can cope.

enjoy your day, you are doing just fine!