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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - DPs Annual Ball.

77 replies

ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf · 10/12/2013 19:35

Short and snappy, tries and quite lighthearted. Grin

DPs annual ball is free for him to attend (the company pays)

If I go with him, it costs £25 for my seat/dinner.

The arranged rate with the hotel is £100 - so £50 each.

DP is insisting I pay for my meal, and my half of the hotel as he doesn't want to go alone.

I personally, am not all that fussed, but having been told that, not only do I have to pay to hold his hand, I'm paying MORE than him, to attend HIS do, I've decide that I won't bother.

I offered to go halves on my meal so it was an equal split, he wasn't interested.

He things I'm being a cow now, I think I'm being entirely reasonable. GrinGrin

AIBU?

OP posts:
IceNoSlice · 10/12/2013 20:43

Bohemian I agree with PPs - I don't think you understand what feminism is either.

This is about courtesy. If you substitute the DP for the OP's best female mate who wants some support on a work event - would the OP still have to pay?

paxtecum · 10/12/2013 20:47

Elf: Do you live with him?
Any DCs with him?

Original poster
ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf · 10/12/2013 20:50

pax Yes, and Yes.

OP posts:
paxtecum · 10/12/2013 20:52

He's being very mean.

rookietherednosedreindeer · 10/12/2013 20:57

Wow - I'm beginning to regret forking out money for my own Christmas do ( even though I can claim it back), never mind paying out good money to subsidise somebody else to go to theirs.

Presumably the hotel room costs the same regardless if it's one or two people sleeping in it, in which case he is trying to take you for a ride.

Lambzig · 10/12/2013 21:37

Not feminism, just good manners.

Technically, he is inviting you and you are doing him a favour by attending. He should be paying the lot.

Let's face it, you wouldn't want to go would you?

Lambzig · 10/12/2013 21:38

In that case, who is paying for the babysitter?

Original poster
ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf · 10/12/2013 21:43

Babysitter will be GPs.

OP posts:
ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 10/12/2013 21:45

Bit sad he wants you to hold his hand. Are these people not his work mates?

Bill should be half each if he isn't willing to pay more or at least worked out in such a way HE doesn't benefit financially from you going.

Moxiegirl · 10/12/2013 21:45

Why is it yours and his money and not joint?

Lambzig · 10/12/2013 21:46

Oh so no cost from babysitting there so he should be paying for all other costs.

Don't go, send DC to grandparents and go out with friends that night.

SteamWisher · 10/12/2013 21:47

YANBU.

Don't go.

Does he do this with the kids? Do you have to keep separate accounts and contribute towards child related costs etc? What a sad way to live.

LilyTheSavage · 10/12/2013 21:50

Not very gentlemanly! DTB and find somebody lovely.

Wine
Bunbaker · 10/12/2013 21:51

So you live with him and have children with him and you still have his money/my money. Sorry, I don't get it.

shewhowines · 10/12/2013 21:55

He shouldn't be making a profit out of you going.

At the least, he should pay what he would have done and then you would be generous to pay any extra, considering you're not bothered but he wants you there.

Original poster
ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf · 10/12/2013 21:59

Thanks all! :)

OP posts:
Mia4 · 10/12/2013 23:03

How tight can you get. Fair enough if you insisted on going but he's the one insisting, ergo he should pay the whole thing-not just half! OP does he normally have an arse tighter then a ducks?

SuperStrength · 10/12/2013 23:20

is he an accountant?

RooRooTaToot · 10/12/2013 23:53

'It sounds like the only reason he is desperate for you to go is so he can avoid having to fork out £100 on a room. You go, he pays half what he would otherwise have to, and gets sex.

YABNU.'

^^ What Baker said.

He wants you to subsidise his bill. Not on.

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 10/12/2013 23:58

You live together?!

FoxyRoxy · 11/12/2013 05:07

If he's going to be paying for the hotel no matter what then either just pay for your meal or (and imo this is what he should be doing since he wants you to go so badly) he should pay for it all.

Joysmum · 11/12/2013 05:28

PMSL on how different our views all are on what we believe is right and how up in arms some people are getting about feminism!

Clearly according to some, you are oppressed and a victim and your husband an arse. Gotta love this forum.

I think it's a great lighthearted thread OP Grin

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 11/12/2013 06:47

If you live together and have kids together, do you generally share finances etc?

IceNoSlice · 11/12/2013 06:48

SuperStrength my bet is no - he's not an accountant. Most accountants I know earn enough money to treat their other half to a night out Wink

scaevola · 11/12/2013 07:17

He's your DH.

Presumably you have discussed how non-essential spending is covered. How do pay for other nights out?

How tights money before Christmas? Is this money coming from a joint account you know is in good shape? If his from his, yours fom yours; do you actually know roughly what his current balance is?

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