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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go in and talk to dds teacher for...

28 replies

ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:07

Telling her to hit a child back?
Dd came home today (she's 5) and said a little boy in her class had hit her, I asked if she told the teacher and she Said yes but she told me to hit him back just as hard..
Dd didn't hit Said little boy back because we have always taught her not to..
I didnt think this was very professional of teacher and can't help but feel abit sorry for the poor boy who is being taught nothing other than violance is ok...

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 10/12/2013 19:09

I wouldn't believe everything your 5 year old tells you...

Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:10

I know when Dd is lying.. in this instance what reason would she have to lie? She didn't do anything wrong..

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 10/12/2013 19:11

I would have a quick word with the teacher....partly because I can't imagine a teacher actually saying this.

RedLondonBus · 10/12/2013 19:11

Lol another child that never lies! MN is full of them lately Hmm

Joysmum · 10/12/2013 19:11

My DD often made stuff up to get our if something or give herself permission to do something disagreed with.

I'd have a word with the teacher alright and don't be surprised if your DD lied. She needs to know she can't play you or her teacher.

WooWooOwl · 10/12/2013 19:13

You might know when she's lying, but it's much harder to know if what she's saying is the truth if she believes it to be the truth, even when she might be wrong.

I very much doubt a teacher said this. It's much more likely that she said something unclearly, or that was misinterpreted by your dd.

Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:14

I didn't say my Dd doesn't lie.. just that I know when she is.

OP posts:
Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:15

How could you misinterpret smack him back?

OP posts:
RightInTheKisser · 10/12/2013 19:15

Yes, of course your 5 year old's teacher told her to hit a boy back just as hard. They teach them to say that on day 3 of teacher training.

RedHelenB · 10/12/2013 19:15

No school teacher would ever tell a child to hit them back so somewhere along the line your child has got it mixed up. YABU.

Joysmum · 10/12/2013 19:16

Wow, x posted with the others. Speak to your teacher but don't be surprised if your DD wasn't told to hit back as that's most unlikely.

Kids get more skilled as they get older, it could be that she misunderstood, made it up or simply lied.

LindyHemming · 10/12/2013 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeepThought · 10/12/2013 19:21

yes agree, your DD has relayed back to you what she THOUGHT teacher said. Not in a million years would it be true, of course

Do ask for clarification to set your mind at rest Smile

Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:22

I hope not! I'd rather believe Dd had made it up than that her teacher was teaching her that.. just doesn't sit right with me though.. Dd didn't remotely look like she was making it up, she seemed quite worried about it.

OP posts:
longjane · 10/12/2013 19:39

Was it teacher though?
Every can be teacher to little one .
Could have been a dinner lady /TA/parent helper .

Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 19:54

Could have been longjane..

OP posts:
MrsWedgeAntilles · 10/12/2013 19:55

When in P1 my friend's DD, obviously sick of just saying stickle bricks or counting when asked what she did all day at school told her mum she'd played darts all day with the head teacher Grin
If it hadn't have been an obviously preposterous situation she would have been quite convincing.
I'm not saying your DD's version isn't accurate, and you certainly need to make sure things like this aren't happening, but go into it with an open mind.

mygrandchildrenrock · 10/12/2013 19:57

Not only did a teacher tell my Dd to hit someone back, she even held the boy still while she told my Dd to hit him hard!
I was not impressed and went into school to tell her this was unacceptable. This was not in the UK though, but she was a trained primary school teacher.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 10/12/2013 20:01

Wow! mygrand, that's a bit scary.

mewmeow · 10/12/2013 20:04

Hard to say if yabu or not. My mum knew when I was lying most of the time, but sometimes she didn't. Im still amazed at some of the things I got away with back in the day.

Not saying your dd definitely is lying in this instance, I would check it out with the teacher, but it's worth baring in mind you might not always know what you think you know iyswim.

magesticmallow · 10/12/2013 20:10

Mrswedge that made me spit my tea at the screen (not helpful to op at all sorry)

NoComet · 10/12/2013 20:13

YR children do tell the most amazing tales,DD2 used to tell me about trips they'd been on. When I hadn't signed a letter or parted with money.

They weren't really lies but stories mixed up with real memories. It's just a phase and it doesn't last past reception. I think it's just so many new things at once.

I bet your DD wanted to hit the boy back and thought it would be nice to have permission of the teacher. By the time she saw you she imagined she had.

Mind you long ago DSIS HT did tell her to kick the boy who bullied her back.

DSIS has never been small, she sent him flying don't a half flight of stairs. She assures me it wasn't deliberate, he just choose a daft place to kick me.

He never bullied her again.

Flicktheswitch · 10/12/2013 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadeOfStarDust · 10/12/2013 20:17

as a former dinner lady - once I heard a teacher say - "oh for goodness sake, just hit him back" to a little girl.... and then DENY the hell out of actually saying it when confronted by a parent.....

not only kids who lie!!

Original poster
ditsydoll · 10/12/2013 20:29

That was my worry madeofstardust the little boy has quite a problem with his temper and is always biting/smacking/hitting someone. They often have to remove him from the class to have some one on one time (I know his mum) I'm wondering if teacher has just hit end if her tether and made a rash mistake? I know its possible Dd could have lied, I just don't know why but it's just playing on my mind, maybe I'll just have a word in a 'can we just clear it up for Dd because she's got thewrong end of the stick' kind of way and see what she says

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