DH has started misusing "myself", like he's an estate agent or works in a call centre. WIBU to LTB?

[MardyBra]

He had very good grammar when I married him in the last century.

It's very embarrassing.

[Allalonenow]

Much, much worse than all of these is having to remain polite to someone who does not know the difference between less and fewer.

[ShriekingGnawer]

Allalonenow - just dont bother. They don't deserve you respect.

[GoofyIsACow]

Allalone... I did notice the other day that Sainsburys have now got five items or fewer tills!

[BiscuitMillionaire]

A manager I worked with used to say 'suck it and see'. As in, 'we'll just have to suck it and see'. It made me want to vomit. He was a prototype David Brent. But even sweatier.

[nauticant]

We must be pacific here.

Not said in the context of international peace talks.

[WordOfTheDay]

Some of my colleagues end e-mails with "Best". Presumably, this is short for "Best regards". It doesn't make any sense to me to shorten "Best regards" to the adjective and not the noun. Have I understood this rightly? Is this prevalent? Where did it come from? Do you agree that it bizarre?

[PoshPaula]

'Suck it and see' is up there, alongside 'We'll just have to suck it up' and the classic 'Pull your finger out'.

[extracrunchy]

You need a water spray gun thing - squirt him every time till he stops. If he doesn't stop, progress to taser.

[limitedperiodonly]

I went through a stage of ending emails with 'best' WordOfTheDay.

It was because I was sucking up to someone I was trying to get some work from who used to do the same.

It was needy but I'm in a much better place now and I've stopped it to the extent that often I leave no sign off at all. All right?

Actually I'm so well-adjusted that I don't give a shit whether you think it's all right or not.

[nennypops]

I used to work with a manager who was a total wanker. One of the many aspects of his wankdom was his love of management speak, which he clearly thought made him sound big and clever. The only way to get through meetings with him without wanting to slit your throat was to play management bingo - we would choose a list of his ten favourite phrases and tick them off whenever he used them, the one with most ticks was exempt from buying a round at the pub afterwards. However, we had to give it up because he was getting suspicious about why people were laughing whenever he spoke, and the person who chose "across the piece" invariably won.

Ultimately a group of us found we could take it no longer and left. It came to light that he looked at all our emails, wasting fruitless hours trying to find something incriminating. However, what he did find were a number of emails taking the piss out of his management speak. Our ex-colleagues are eternally grateful to us, apparently they haven't heard "across the piece" since.

[MardyBra]

ThreeBee I like the diagnosis of Reflexive pronounitis.

Unfortunately DH has been known to do some management speak too.

Maybe he could go on The Apprentice next year. There is surely a screening process in place to ensure that when Suralan says:
"Who was responsible for deciding to try and sell snow to the eskimos/wine at an AA meeting/Greggs to a bunch of MNers?", one of them will pipe up with "That was myself, Lord Sugar".

[SchnitzelVonKrumm]

Have you tried reaching out to him, OP?

[YoungBritishPissArtist]

I've just discovered this thread, can I touch base with yourselves?

[DameEdnasBridesmaid]

nennypops did you work for a bank?

We used to do something similar, the winner would be the one who got the most Wank Speak phrases in during the meetings. I don't think they ever realised we were taking the piss.

[kumamon]

Oh, my ex used to do the 'myself' 'yourselves' bullcrap too. Hence, he is now an ex.

I have a thing about East Coast train announcements, you get the classic "on behalf of myself, I would like to welcome you to the train" and also the exceptionally flowery "please ensure you uplift your belongings".

uplifts mug of tea

[LCHammer]

Ooh, can I add a micro-rant about the word 'pressure'. Everything is a pressure. No, it's a cut - in money, staff, hours.

[madoldbird]

My DH puts the word "old" infront of everything. E.g. "Did you see what old DS3 did?", "Just popping out to the old shops" etc.

Why? Why??

[youretoastmildred]

he has even done it to you, madbird!

[madoldbird]

[TheBigJessie]

So that's what YOLO means. I'd tried to glean its meaning from context and had decided on

YOLO: an public admission that you are an immature drunken teenager about to do something stupid. Usually uttered to draw attention to your latest feat of daftness, in order to maximise the number of people who will comment "Total LAD" when you update facebook the next day to explain you were sick on an A&E nurse's foot.

[TheBigJessie]

*a public admission.

Bugger

[peppinagiro]

Myself and my boss used to play that too nennypops! We were surrounded by awful management-speakers. We called it Bullshit Bingo.

[suegardener]

I think you've said it all in your 1st reference to him cos i always think DH stands for Dick Head